Tearing Velu from limb
Little wonder dearie that you set time
frames for the capture of the Cyanide Pill.
It is only now the penny is dropping and
dropping. I say darling, considering the
state of the economy, I wish more pennies
would drop. But no such luck for Thellie eh?
Anyway back to the capture of the Cyanide
Pill. There the Tiger supremo was. Sitting
on a tree trunk filing his middle finger
nail, thinking pensive thoughts about
bunkers, when the tsunami washed him out to
sea. He's dead as a door nail you said.
Later he was miraculously resurrected or
perhaps given mouth to mouth resuscitation
by Pamela Anderson in a yellow bathing suit,
who possibly took time off the set of
Baywatch to create a little bit of violent
Be that as it may, believe me or believe me
not, despite being washed out to sea by the
terrible wrath of the gods over three years
ago, there the chap was back like a bad
penny as bright as a button saying this one
day, doing that the next and giving lengthy
speeches annually about how Rakneel was a
fox with a bally imported safety net.
Together with his dislike for imported nets,
the big cheese in the Wanni seemed to have a
particular hatred for the green chaps..yes,
I mean the green chaps not the green backs.
You must get your SCOPP head or your PRUNE
in Geneva to communicate with the American
Bush about Cyanide's aversion to foreign
You see Bush and his
wreath have been traipsing all over the dark
continent handing out millions of mosquito
nets. Yellow ones, baby pink ones and powder
blue too. Perhaps he will dip into the
frozen Millennium Challenge Account and
decide to give the Paradisians in the
northern extremities some nets not knowing
how averse those chaps are to the imported
kind. Good thing to warn him in time
And now one finds that the Cyanide fellow
has been injured yet again. Thellie heard
from the best sources that he had stubbed
his toe on a hatchet that he had been trying
to bury improperly. Poor bloke. Was he
rescued from the jaws of a watery death by
the likes of a busty Pamela only to suffer
the ignominy of a stubbed toe? Ah well, such
is life one supposes.
And in the wilds of Wanni as he was creeping
out of a spider hole ducking a missile here
and avoiding a claymore mine there, the
Cyanide Pill maybe was thinking that in the
Paradise if it wasn't one thing it was another.
After all, the moment he opened the news
rags there he was starting out of its pages
with a headline that he was injured. That'll
teach the fellow to examine himself
thoroughly each morning as he does his five
push-ups and 10 hand-stands. I mean to say,
no rebel leader with any self respect would
want to get to know of his injuries from the
enemy rags at any cost.
If Osama Bin Laden were injured would he
have to first read it in the newspapers?
Definitely not I say. The fellow would have
been the first to know. He would have picked
up his dirty skirts scattered in and around
his legs and darted out to the nearest tent
to find if the doctor was in. But Cyanide?
Not so clever.
First he gets himself washed away by the
tsunami. Then he is brought ashore by the
tide. If that isn't enough, he is killed by
a wayward bomb, but manages to shake of the
grim reaper and come to life again only to
be told that he is injured. Too late he
recalls that he is suffering from diabetes
and takes a scoop of vanilla ice cream.
And now, injured as Cyanide is, the silly
chap has gone and forgotten to take his
insulin injections. The up shot? Half his
leg falls off.
Makes you think doesn't it? All this time
when you were paying out millions for
military hardware you should have really
been buying Cadbury chocolate and Candy
creams at wholesale prices.
All you need to do now dear is start
scouring the malls for saccharine sweets,
strawberry wafers and milk toffee. The
commissions won't be as attractive but hey
think of the upside. Any remaining Marie
biscuits can be easily stored in your
bedside drawer and saved for later. Perhaps
to munch as you watch Maha Gedera or
Kindurangana on Sirasa TV.
I said it once and I will say it again. It
makes you think doesn't it? I mean to say
darling, there the blot was for 30 years,
playing around with battery operated mines
and makeshift bombs and as luck would have
it, its diabetes that gets him in the end.
Well it only goes to show dearie. Blood
Sugar is no bally respecter of persons.