Merv's Mechano marvel

My Darling Ma-hinder,

It is not often that Thellie baulks but she did last Tuesday dear. There I was reading the mid week rags, and there you were, in my bally face as usual. But can you do anything without that attack dog by your side? Obviously not. And the up shot? Thellie baulking like a bally performing ballerina, who finds out half way through a particularly revealing pirouette, that she's forgotten her bally knickers.

I am referring to the opening of the Kelaniya flyover darling. I flew over alright. I mean to say it's all very well you hanging about with that Merv chap in the confines of your home. Thellie may be so generous as to even say there was no harm in you frolicking among the temple trees in your garden hand in hand or then again.may be not. Let's drop the hand in hand part. Paradisians are too often served the foot in mouth by you and your beaming siblings to suffer the likes of you and Merv in a bally hand lock.

Grappling with chopsticks

Anyway dearie one would think that given Merv's way with the knife if not the fork it would have been more prudent if you left him at a Chinese restaurant grappling with chopsticks while you attended to all this opening stuff.

But I suppose it stands to reason that Katana Pulle was with you in the whole process. After all it was Katana who called Merv a moral, upstanding gentleman worthy of being appointed to the Constitutional Council. And Katana Pulle we know is an honourable man. That he said so under privilege in the House by the Diyawanna is of little consequence. I did not see his tongue in his pimpled cheek.

One would think seeing you, Merv and the Katana Pulle walking boldly over the length of the flyover which someone told me was 325 metres you could have walked with less of an obvious affinity to each other. Since two lanes have been constructed under the first phase of the project you could have taken one lane and Merv could have taken the next. You take the high road and Merv take the low road. Problem is both want to take the low road what!

You see dearie, people are starting to whisper about you and Merv. And if as they say over 75,000 vehicles travel along Colombo-Kandy main road every day that would be a fair amount of whispering going on.

Iron contraption

As I said, you should have left him at a Chinese restaurant with chopsticks. Better the cost of a Chinese meal than the cost of a Chinese Whisper. Odds bodikins m'dear what had Thellie startled like a deer caught in a headlight was the fact that this iron contraption had been constructed in record time taking only 61 days. I don't know if it was a large Mechano set you used but darling, Thellie for one will prefer to use another route.

I'll give your politically motivated flyover a wide berth dear, and no, it's not because I'm jealous you managed it in record time.

It's more because I've been reading a helluva lot of newspaper articles on the subject of collapsing bridges even in the US of A. If Uncle Sam can get it wrong may be Merv can too. Thellie was somewhat surprised to find that not only is Merv on the cutting edge of the media world he is now a talented engineer. I'm certain of it. For I saw no other name on the flyover except large posters of a smiling Merv with headlines like 'Our Hero' written boldly across.

Thellie is someone who calls a spade a spade but that doesn't mean that she mingles about with people who either carry spades or are spades. Ergo she is unlikely to come across this Merv fellow any time soon unless of course he plans a visit to carve out his opinion and/or etch a sketch on her skin.

I will be much obliged dear, therefore, if you would convey to your buddy, my heartiest congratulations to him for having built the bally iron monstrosity in 61 days. Some envious nincompoop told me that it wasn't Merv but some British engineering firm that had done the deed. But fie on the bally British is what I say. More strength to Merv the Perv. Ta ra for now. Love,

Thellie Bellie