A mother’s work is never done

Someone once said that undeniably the most automated appliance in a household is a mother. For about a year after the kids stopped going to school, I would wake up at the crack of dawn, before 6 a.m. I would mentally give myself a good talking to after that, and go back to sleep. That is, if there were no mad golfers around crashing into things in the dark feverishly scuttling on their way to the green, which incidentally must look blue-grey at daybreak. There are balls that light up in the dark! Oh wow! How useful. Most impressive.

Anyway recently, Dancing Doll was starting her exams and wanted me to call her to make sure she got up, since she was nervous her alarm wouldn’t go off (sound familiar, anyone?). So I said of course, though it meant I had to get up at 5 a.m. Well, what do you know, I was jerked awake by the raucous crowing of the next door guard cock ( no, this is not a typographical error!) who is so vigilant and gets up crowing loudly at the vaguest hint of light. "Oh no!" I thought to myself, "I’ve slept through the alarm."

So after blearily checking the clock, guess what time it was? Ten minutes to four in the morning! Aaaaagrh! So I willed myself to sleep, but simply could not. I kept getting up, to check the time.

When I finally called D.D., she breezily answered saying, "Ah, I got up and I’m just going to have breakfast now. What time is it there? Gosh, you go back to sleep, mum! Can I call you on the way to the exam, I’m sure to be nervous?"

Hm! Tossed and turned and got up again at 6.30 a.m to answer the phone, reassure D.D. that she was a genius and would fare absolutely brilliantly and explain to the other occupant of my bed what all this inconsiderate phone ringing was about.

By that time all efforts at sleep had eluded me, I was well and truly up with a hectic day ahead of me. Does this sound familiar to lots of you? Then you are a MUM! It is said that motherhood is the most important of all professions, requiring more knowledge than any other department in Human Affairs. But by the time a woman realises her mother was right, she has a daughter or son who thinks she’s wrong!

It is an unwritten law that all mothers have to be available 24/7 to their offspring. You can be holding the highest office but still your kids expect you to be on call. I read somewhere that a suburban mother’s role is to deliver her children obstetrically once and by car forever after!

This is true, I remember the Dreamer asking me once, "When are you going to stop coming to pick and drop me? All my friends go alone with their drivers." I replied, "Maybe I’ll consider it when you get married?" She wasn’t amused! So many of us permanently have books in our vehicles, used whilst waiting to pick our kids up from somewhere or the other.

Anyway, some of my friends were very impressed that I knew where all the nightclubs were. Naturally, since I’m hanging around them at the crack of dawn waiting to pick up mine, as well as other people’s kids! Once, the girls were delaying to come outside and I spotted the manager of this particular nightclub having a smoke outside. Since he knew me and the girls, he asked if he could get them out for me. I readily agreed.

Apparently, he had got the DJ to announce their names and say, "Your mother has come to pick you up and is waiting outside for you!" I had to listen to how scandalous this was all the way home! Not the Done Thing! My behaviour was totally disgraceful!

A friend of mine used to dash through her work every morning to be in time for the interval at nursery school, where she would sit outside a fence since parents weren’t admitted at that time. Her daughter would be squatting on the other side, sucking the fingers of one hand and holding her hand with the other! My own mum would take my brother’s snack at break and feed him during the interval and come home. Never mind us girls, we could manage, in her book!

 "A man’s work is from sun to sun, but a mother’s work is never done."