Appreciation

Shyama Peries

I can never forget that fateful day; January 15, 2007. During the early hours of that day I received a call that Shyama suddenly passed away. Refusing to believe what I just heard and clinging to every possible hope that she had not, I called her home. The voice on the other side confirmed my worst fears. It’s been three years since then.

Shyama, fondly addressed as ‘Shyama Akki’ by all of us, was the eldest among the girl cousins of a large family – the “Abeytunges” from Badulla. Shyama Akki was my father’s eldest sister’s daughter. She has two younger sisters and her mother, while her father passed away quite early in her life.

She was a pillar of strength, not only to her own family, but also to her extended family – her aunts, uncles and cousins from both her parents’ sides and her husband’s family as well.  She was very close to my father’s younger sisters and brothers, usually called them by their first names, as they were very much closer to her by age. She was the anchor who took care of the interests of many of them – most of whom are abroad. Nothing was impossible for her or too much to handle and she rose to every occasion. Being the glue that brought us all together, she cared so much and shared so much affection with us, her family, without exception. Every family occasion had to have her touch! We still recall warm and loving family events initiated by her, who wanted her loved ones to have a good time.  None were left out on such occasions, and declining her invitations was not an option nor were they to be missed !

Being a hairdresser cum beautician, she dressed us, all the cousins, when they became brides. She made us all look radiant brides on our special day. It was Shyama Akki that took the leadership most of the time, dealing with every small detail of the more important and decisive events in the family. She was the first person we would call for any kind of advice – personal or otherwise. Her persistence, put it all together to make things happen and solve problems which most of the time were not her own. She was so much a livewire, her death came as an unbelievable shock to everyone in the family.

Shyama Akki was tireless and energetic to the end of her life. Among the million errands she ran invariably for someone else, she never forgot to drop in to see an elderly relative or a sick family member or a relative or friend visiting from abroad. She was the one who would be there with you on those important days…to share your happiness…to share your grief. With her smiling eyes, warm embraces and hearty laugh she always made her presence felt.

She was a caring human being, who was much loved by all who came within her sphere. She displayed sincere love and warmth to each and everyone in many ways. She always remembered those who had been there for her and those who were in less fortunate circumstances. She shared her love and time and gave it to so many, ungrudgingly whether it was family or friends or less fortunate animals left to fend for themselves on the streets. She was part of many good deeds and social work projects connected with stray animals, carried out in the community.
Shyama Akki had an amazing way with children – she was the only one in her salon who could get around a restless child who refuses to cut his hair. She was the one who gave my son his first hair cut, as she did for her other nieces and nephews.
She was also very house-proud. We have watched her in admiration … as she keeps a well kept house, never forgetting to give us some tips on a household thing or two. She loved flowers and her house was always adorned with fresh flowers.
With a bewitching smile and a heart of gold her presence anywhere at any time brought sunshine to everyone around. No one could be sad with her as she was never without a smile. Her unassuming and lovable ways always made people so comfortable and so easy to reach to her.

I had the privilege of knowing her from the day I was born; so did my own extended family, even for a short time of ten years, since I got married. Even for them, it was like a life long relationship with her. She touched all our lives with her vibrant smile and cheerful spirit, leaving lasting impressions on them.

Three years have gone by since we lost Shyama Akki. Her untimely departure remains like a sore wound that refuses to heal in our hearts, with only memories of her now left with all of us.
Goodbye to her once again — May she be at peace in her final rest Nirvana. We will always remember her with much love, the love she gave to all who knew her.

Our lives go on without you
But nothing is the same,
We have to hide our heartaches
When someone speaks your name.
Sad are the hearts that love you
Silent the tears that fall,
Living our hearts without you
Is the hardest part of all.
You did so many things for us
Your heart was kind and true,
And when we needed someone
We could always count on you.
The special years will not return
When we were all together,
But with the love within our hearts
You will walk with us forever.
— Namal Aturupane