In A Nutshell

Can’t see the Wood for the Trees!
Ah! So our beloved Merv the Perv is at it again. Now his latest thing, as everyone and his uncle would know, is to tie the Samurdhi types to trees. Look like we’ve found a new disciplinary method. What need for a naughty corner, no? Anyway, Merv the Perv was no doubt very satisfied with himself. That is, until one from the president’s clan called him into his office and gave him a jolly good tongue-lashing. Poor Merv was so upset, he was looking all over for a rope to tie himself to the nearest parliamentary tree! We joke! We joke!
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Put that in your Mouth and Swallow it!
Anyone who makes the trek to parliament to watch the MP types pontificate, will know what a long and arduous trip it is. From security check to security check and no phones or any equipment allowed. Must protect the MPs, no? And these schoolchildren are always there to watch the leaders and lawmakers (ahem) of our nation. One poor little boy had Rs. 5 in his pocket. It was obviously a very important five rupee coin. The security types let him in but came back to the gallery and the boy swallowed it! Just goes to show how arduous the security checks are in this place, no? Wonder if they are the same as those for the MPs? Somehow, we think not! Eh??

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Patience, patience!
And our ‘Benevolent Leader’ met with the young opposition types in Kandy. He gave them a nice long pep talk about the importance of being the opposition type voice. They were all very inspired. One particular inspired fellow asked, “I say, sir, what about our car permits?” “Not yet,” the prez replied. Apparently Fonny Boy is also agitating for one and our leader thinks if he releases the permits, the Fonster will just buy another car, sell his old one and pay his large legal bill! “Don’t worry, I’ll deal with him. After that you can get your permits!” said our leader. Hmmm.

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A walk to Remember?
Speaking of the prez, he knows how to appeal to the masses. In Kandy, he made sure to get down and walk to the Maligawa and everyone was delighted. “Why can’t all the MP types walk and not go in their Defenders, no?” they asked. So accordingly, the next day everyone turned on their TV sets to see where the President had walked. Nowhere, it turned out. His one time walk was perhaps, only for the benefit of the cameras? Don’t look at us!

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Double Talk
Of course, the latest whispering is that the Sakvithi man has been well and truly caught. Sin men. The fellow had even done some plastic surgery and grown a nice bushy beard. And after all that, he still couldn’t escape the handcuffs. Just goes to show, no matter how much you run, at the end you always get caught! No double talk, we promise! Hee, hee!