In A Nutshell

To The Rescue!
Sin no for Merv the Perv. Now not only has he lost his Deputy Minister post, but having to leave the session early! No more jumping about and interrupting proceedings. But all is not lost. For the Buddhist clergy types in Gum-Pa-Ha are coming to the rescue! Holding meetings in Colombo, apparently, saying “Bring our Mervy back!” Word is there’ll even be a signed petition to the Prez himself. No wonder Merv was so confident he’d be back, no?? Shaa…

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Scoop of the Year
Then we have a new competitor. Turns out Wijay Raja has a Scoop of the year. He says a Minister type demanded a commission from an NGO. Only thing is when we asked for names he said he couldn’t remember anything after two years. Hmm… either a
severe case of amnesia, or Wijay
has a good imagination? Or maybe he really is gunning for Scoop of the Year? Good luck then, Wijay!

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Get Me To Parliament On Time
Poor Fonny Boy. All this week he was late to Parliament. At least he got to make a grand entrance. And as we all know it is a violation of Fonny Boy’s rights to make him late. Also if he doesn’t attend the Council meetings on the Constitution, which he has been barred from attending. So, what’s the hold-up, hmmm?? Deliberate violation of rights? Or heavy traffic jam??? Tsk, tsk!!

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Justice Will Be Done
And the Minister who dreams of Justice has a very unique way of solving problems, no? “There is a huge backlog of cases,” he announced. Ah, really? We didn’t know. But then he had the solution. “We are building more courthouses! Then everything will be solved!” he said triumphantly. At this point there were titters heard all round. Yes, what a brilliant way to solve the problem. Very cost-effective, no? Bravo, bravo!

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Birthday Blues
So during oral question time everyone was popping up to ask their thought provoking questions. And Ravi K had many this Thursday. At one point, he asked a question and the answer was “How absurd.” Turns out that Ravi K wanted to update his birthday book- he was asking for the age and date of birth of all the judges. Amusement was the result, but Ravi K fired back- “this isn’t a joke! We have to know how long they’ve been serving so we can make sure they retire on time!” Ahhhh….right then, Ravi!

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That’s Not Your Seat!

And what a to-do we had this Tuesday in Parliament as well! With Opposition members tearing to the middle of the House, tearing their speeches etc. Of course when they started behaving like this, the Speaker at the time fled hastily. After that there was an even bigger ruckus, of course. Which was only appeased when that Boy in Blue Cha-Mal came to the Speaker’s seat. Yet some Opposite types were still not satisfied- “the earlier fellow just got up and left! He didn’t adjourn! So you don’t have the right to sit there!” they shouted. Maara cheeky ones, those fellows, no?