Balderdash
These Barbaric Boys!
Today, Dancing Doll returned after running a couple of errands all fired up about the uncouth and barbaric behaviour of the opposite sex. Apparently Beautiful Dreamer was trying to have a sinful dessert and she sternly dragged her away. She allowed her to have a fruit juice from Odel instead. When they were in the queue at the counter, two Italian guys had shoved themselves in front and B.D., being very pleasant, overlooked it. D.D. couldn’t accept this kind of behaviour and walking up to the counter loudly remarked that these people must be from some uncivilized country where they didn’t understand the concept of a queue. She went on to say that these were the kind of ill bred people we are forced to encounter nowadays — what a pity.
Everyone around grinned in agreement and the two Italian guys glanced uneasily around, probably scared that she would clobber them or start a riot. The chap at the counter totally ignored them and asked B.D., “Can I help you, madam?” She answered in her best British accent, “Could I have a wood apple juice with vanilla ice-cream, please?” “Whaaat?” howled D.D. “I thought you were going to have a juice!” Apparently, this was juice with a little addition.
Their next stop was at a supermarket to buy me some herbs. D.D. succumbed to temptation, abandoning her diet and bought a tub of Hagen-Das ice-cream. Really! What do you think, at the check out counter, some guy comes and plonks some bread in front of their purchases and jumps the queue! “My goodness! What is it with these men? Very nice state of affairs, I must say, clueless, mannerless oaf!” Unfortunately he tried to be smart and said to her, “Yes, very nice, no?” That did it! She launched into a scathing tirade about how people need to be educated on how to associate with other human beings with consideration. She went on to say that bad manners and selfishness were quite common in today’s society.
The other marketers got their morning’s entertainment. The guy was so flustered, he left his package of bread behind and fled, glancing nervously behind him all the while. The salesgirl had to run behind him with his bread! Then he was seen talking to a pal, gesticulating wildly, probably saying there was a madwoman on the loose at the supermarket.
On another occasion recently, she was at a nightclub and a boy known to her had groped her. She had yelled at him but as you can imagine, it would have been inaudible with the loud music. Then she said that she didn’t want to tell the guys she had come with, what had happened because it might have caused a huge commotion. So because she was disgusted anyway by what was going on in general, she said she would like to leave and had come home. “Mum! What do you think, all these small brats don’t know how to behave. It’s disgusting!” One of them was totally sloshed and puking in the loo, another was behaving disgracefully with any male who crossed her path and another was in a dress just below her butt! D.D. said she felt like slapping all of them. Just then the Groper did his thing.
The next morning when she informed her boyfriend what had happened, he had called up a friend of the Groper and told him to watch it. And what do you think, the Groper calls and apologizes to the boyfriend! He was curtly told to apologize to her direct and to stay away from booze if he couldn’t handle it. Good advice, I thought.
Now she informs me that the Indian Stalker who haunted her in university is now stalking her in cyberspace, asking why she won’t add him on to Facebook and that surely she can’t hate him so much? “My gosh! After three years hasn’t he got the message? Is he ever going to leave me in peace?” she groans in exasperation. On her very first day alone overseas in university, some guy followed her all the way home and kept trying to talk to her. Finally she turned round in front of everyone on the street and shouted, “Will you leave me alone? I don’t want to talk to you and if you bother me any more, I shall call the cops!” B.D. laughingly said he took to his heels and actually ran off, because she was so ferocious. Well done, baby!
— Honky Tonk Woman
