Good Food Served Well — Not At Mao’s

• Joe Berger Checks Out The Best And The Worst Places To Eat And Drink In Colombo…

The Sunday Leader is pleased to announce that it has started a regular weekly column investigating the various restaurants in Sri Lanka. Our visits are carried out completely anonymously, without announcement either prior to or after the dining experience.
The restaurateurs are, in effect, completely in the dark. True to form and established practice, we say it the way we see (and taste) it. Our intrepid reporter is none other than Joe Berger who simply thrives on good food served well. Indeed that is the essence of our eating out guide – the quest to seek, even eke out, the best and the worst eating houses in the country. If you want Joe Berger to check-out a particular restaurant of whatever grade, please e-mail to: joberger.leader@gmail.com
For sake of anonymity and impartiality Joe cannot be contacted by telephone and is not available for discussion.

Our first visit took us to The Mao Restaurant in Dharmapala Mawatha, Colombo 3. If ever there is a place you ought to avoid at any cost, then look no further than the Mao Seafood Restaurant.

A couple of drinks at the Cinnamon Grand lobby, where the service was friendly but mediocre and where the music was so loud that my dining partner for the night mistook the lobby for a night club and it was time to move on. We decided on the Colombo Swimming Club, which actually was a bit of a risk considering the large contingent of Traffic Police who seemed to be having a near tamasha of their own. They showed little interest in the Volvo and its two occupants and we rolled out into the Swimming Club without incident.

Our order of a plate of superb fried pork in a light batter coating and the Vodka with orange came almost too soon. We sat outside in order to fully exercise our lungs and really to check out exactly what it is that nicotine did to the insides – even though we reached no consensus on that. By the end of the two rounds we were not only at starvation point but also at a loss as to where we ought to eat. We considered “168” but the Police Tamasha put us off. So we went straight across the round about past the Capri Club and its VAT scandal and on our right we spotted The Mao which looked like it would  give us a positive dining experience.
There was enough car parking space – which should have given the game away really – and we walked into what I thought was the reception area of Barney Rymond – the Undertakers. The ambiance was cold and clinical though the captain gave us a cheerful enough welcome. We had the entire place to ourselves and chose to sit in the verandah-ish area, as we spotted that we were able to smoke there. The menu was easy to understand – we chose to have the Fried Brinjal With Chilli, Indonesian Style Prawns, Diced Pork With Chilli along with Steamed Rice.
We asked for chopsticks and were a bit put out when the waiter arrived with plates. We had to ask for bowls. Bowls duly arrived – except that it was not the standard size we expected, more like out-sized shallow ones that would usually bring in some sweets. We quizzed the Captain who insisted that this was the Chinese standard. Well, maybe in China but not what was available in every other Chinese restaurant I have been in – pretend, wannabe-Chinese restaurant or otherwise.

The food arrived rather quickly. There was nothing remarkable about its presentation and we really didn’t feel like eating off sweet bowls so opted for cutlery instead. The service though was exemplary and the staff quite chatty but not really intrusive. The Fried Brinjal was of poor quality. It was far too oily and left a distinctive sour taste. It certainly was with chilli make no mistake about that; the Diced Pork was much better. The Indonesian Style Prawns was nothing more than a thick, creamy mixture of coconut cream and the prawns lacked body. It may well have been called ‘coconut cream with prawns.’  We declined the standard fare of sweets and coffee. All in all, I would not rate this restaurant at all and I certainly will not be returning. The meal cost us a total of Rs 1,770 including 10% service charge. The Mao Sea Food Restaurant is at 62/A, Dharmapala Mawatha, Colombo 3.
Joberger.leader@gmail.com