Balderdash
Fish Of All Sorts
The fish in all five fish tanks in the indoor garden swam away with the flood. They thought they were swimming to freedom, but aha! Little did they know, every day there are young fishermen lined up on both banks of the canal, so probably they will end up well and truly cooked on someone’s plate.
This is true of most living things, once they leave familiar territory, they will be vulnerable to predatory creatures, which will hunt them down and destroy them. Anyway, I got some carps of various hues and hopefully these will continue to reside with us.
A signboard by a fish tank read, “Please do not throw your cigarette butts on the ground because the fish crawl out at night and smoke them and we are trying hard to get them to quit!” Then there was this guy who had been fishing the whole day and had a terrible day because he had not caught a single fish. So he stopped at a fishmonger’s on the way back home and told the guy to pick four nice big fish. After that was done, he then instructed him to throw the fish at him one by one. “But why, sir?” asked the mystified man. The man explained that he could then truthfully tell his wife he had caught the fish. The fishmonger laughed and said, “You’d better take some salmon instead.” When the guy asked him for an explanation, he said, “Your wife came by this afternoon and said in case you came here, she’d like some salmon for dinner tonight!”
Another man was walking on the bank of a river, carrying a bucket of water with two trout in it. A conservation officer goes up to him and asks him for his fishing license. He replies, “Oh, no, officer! These trout are my pets. Every evening I put them in this bucket. Then I let them into the water and go for a walk. When I get back, I whistle and they jump back into the bucket.” He then tells the officer if he didn’t believe this, to just watch him. So he slips the trout back into the river. The officer says, “Now whistle and call your fish back!” The man turns and asks the officer blandly, “What fish?”
There are 40 species approximately of dolphins and porpoises. The largest member of the dolphin family is the killer whale. And if you thought fish couldn’t talk, well, what do you know, dolphins and porpoises can communicate with each other by a series of sounds. They squeak, growl, moan and whistle at each other. I wonder whether one day someone would be able to decipher the sounds and work out a language for them. For people like us it would be rather difficult to just be restricted to these specific sounds, we are rather verbose, aren’t we? Anyway, these species are known to be friendly creatures. They always look like they are smiling! Dolphins sleep with one eye open. Keeping an eye on things? The loudest sound produced by an animal is the whistle of the blue whale, going up to 188 decibels. Wheeeeee! But then, consider its size, it is about the same as 24 elephants, so no wonder, don’t you think?
The most poisonous fish in the world is found off the coast of Australia, called the Stonefish. Its name is derived from the fact that it can perfectly camouflage itself to actually resemble a stone. It has 13 venomous spines that contain deadly poison. The venom of a stonefish can kill a human being within two hours, it is so potent.
The Sturgeon is the world’s largest fresh water fish. Its eggs are a much sought after though pricey delicacy, caviar. Apparently all the Sturgeon fish in the UK belong to her Majesty the Queen! Too much caviar, madam. The flying fish actually flies on wind currents. It can reach up to as much as 20 feet above the surface.
Angling is one of the most favourite sports. One can spend the whole day at this occupation. Here are some fishing quotes:
1. A bad day at fishing is still better than a good day at work.
2. An angler is a man who spends rainy days sitting around on the muddy banks of rivers doing nothing because his wife won’t let him do it at home!
3. There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
4. The fishing was good; it was the catching that was bad!
— Honky Tonk Woman
