My Story: The Gay Movement In Sri Lanka

Continued from last week

“This is a good thing.  You won’t have a problem.  Don’t worry about anything.”  I was receiving negative calls also.
One day, I happened to go to Galle to attend a funeral.  Someone asked me to contact a guy to tell him about the funeral and ask him to come with me.  I called him.  He happened to be B.  This was about one and a half months after I set up the group.  He said, “Let’s meet in Pettah bus halt.”  We were seated together and travelling from Colombo to Galle.  I said, “I have been in Singapore and these were the problems, but I was determined to continue.”  He said, “I am also gay. You are not my type.  I like elderly people.”  It was a good conversation.
When we went to the funeral house, it was over.  It was because of this we decided to go to a small restaurant in Galle Town and have a beer.  With beer, we went on with our discussion till about 5 p.m.  We set off to Colombo.  Because of the bonding formed after spending  a day together, I said, “Let’s get down at Dehiwala and take a walk to Anderson Road.”  The Companions on a Journey drop-in centre was  situated at Anderson Road. We talked about sex and sexuality.  I realised I was a little emotionally closer to him and he too thought so, even though we did not physically like each other.  That’s how we started.
B was working at a five star hotel.  We were in Rajagiriya for about five years.  B tended not to go to work on time.  I used to wake him on time.  He lived in  such a disorganised way.  I washed his clothes and sent him to work, playing a role mostly assigned to women.  I did that for some time.  Then, quarrels started and I said, “You need to be serious about your work.” Once B caught chicken pox.  I asked my staff not to come closer to him as they might get infected, and said I would look after B.  That was something I did with all my heart.  I was scared, looking at his face.  A day or two after, he was healed and started the bathing;  I too caught the infection.  Then he had to look after me and I asked him to go to work.  But he got distracted from his routine work at the hotel and supported me with the activities of COJ.  Since then he has been associating with the work of COJ.
Slowly but steadily we managed to reach out to our community. Not only gay men but also to lesbian women and transgendered persons too.  A lot of people used to come to the office and meet us for various reasons.  Some just came out of curiosity. Some, and this was very often,  in search of sexual partners, which was annoying to us at first, but then we realised that that  was their concern. Faced with such situations,  we would  listen to them and then  speak to them and explain that as a GLBT organisation we have much stronger, noble and collective aspirations for our community. Some approached us because they want to support, however discreet that may be, they felt that they wanted to nurture this initiative. They were emboldened by it, although most still remained in the proverbial closet.
We heard stories. Stories of our lives. Good, bad, sad, funny, romances lost, or romances bloomed, elation at been gay or stories about being suicidal because of the societal rejection. These stories, we shared. These stories bonded us together, these stories – our lives, shared with an understanding of one another, strengthened us. Of course, there were death threats every once in a while, or negative articles in newspapers, At one point there were a few defamatory posters on our walls too.
A few times the police walked into our drop-in centre. At first we were scared but over time we braced ourselves, we explained what we do and they realised the importance of our work. In fact, thereafter, they would contact us if one of our community members got arrested for some reason or other.  We developed linkages with other civil society groups. Sometimes, due to homophobia we were asked to leave the meetings or events organised by other civil society groups. We stood our ground. We participated, we represented, we expressed our solidarity,  because we knew as GLBT people, we too are born with the same rights that every human being is entitled to. We are gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals or transgendered  — and more importantly  we are humans too.
This is how Companions on a Journey began.  I loved it.  I enjoyed it.  And I am very passionate about it.  It’s like that crawling baby who needs to stand.  I believe that our people must stand up for their rights, their dignity, their liberty to be who they are, and create positive and accepting social spaces for LGBT people of this country.  Of course nobody will stand up and raise their voices in our support unless we ourselves do that first. Only then can we truly make a difference.