The Sunday Leader

A Daughter’s Sorrow

By Ahimsa Wickrematunge

Lasantha with his daughter Ahimsa as a baby

“I had the most amazing relationship with my dad; he was one of my best friends and he was one of the few people I trusted completely. Not a day goes by that I do not think of him. It breaks my heart that my little brother will grow up without a father. But I believe he is watching over us.They say it gets better with time but it has not got any easier.”

These past few years I have had time to think about my father’s passing and try my best to deal with it. I find it so hard to move on and accept what happened. As an adult, I have realised now that nothing in life is permanent nor is it how you want it to be. Instead, I try to look for meaning and lessons behind all these experiences.
I believe that death is not the end of life; it is merely the end of the body we inhabit in this life, but our spirit will remain.
I had the most amazing relationship with my dad; he was one of my best friends and he was one of the few people I trusted completely. Losing him, in such a violent manner, has been the most painful and traumatic experience in my life; what also hurts is that I can no longer confide in my dad who supported me in all my decisions, dreams, ambitions and desires even if they were not always what he agreed with or wanted for me. That alone shows how unconditional his love was.
I have friends who unfortunately are not close to their fathers and that saddens me because I would give an arm to have a few moments more with my dad. Usually children grow up with the notion that their dad is their hero. I feel so proud to know that my dad is literally a hero and that he is not only a hero and role model to me but also to so many others who have been inspired by him.
Growing up I did not have the same liberal political, philosophical and ideological views and beliefs I  now have, but I have learnt through, mostly my father’s wisdom, that all beings on earth deserve the same rights and respect and no one should have the authority to condemn or frown upon another, based on class, creed, gender or sexual orientation.
Despite my father’s personal faith, what impressed me most was that he never blindly agreed with everything and impartially stood up for what was right and took a stand against discrimination in all forms. He was always a voice for those who were oppressed.
It pains me every time I think my father will not be there to walk me down the aisle or be there when I need advice or rejoice with me when I succeed in something. That is something I find hardest to accept. I believe my father could have achieved and done so much more if only his life had not been so cruelly taken. I have so many unanswered questions. Not a day goes by that I do not think of him. It breaks my heart that my little brother will grow up without a father. But I believe he is watching over us.
They say it gets better with time but it has not got any easier. I miss him everyday, and today especially, I share the pain of loss with my mother and my two brothers who loved him so much.

4 Comments for “A Daughter’s Sorrow”

  1. umesh

    Dear Lasntha,

    You have been good friend to all of sri lankans and We still Love u so much.When the time comes , God will punish the person who hurts you.We wishes and pray for your family goods.

  2. Sun Lai Yung

    Lasantha,
    I never met you, but I read the editorials and enjoyed your views on many aspects of Sri Lanka. You are missed. There will be poetic justice. I wish your family and your newspaper to continue to fight injustice and corruption. May you have peace.

  3. Jawfer

    Sister, I share the feelings of you and your beloved family.
    I was really shocked over the news of your father demise on that day.
    I am still reading his articles when ever I get chance, He was a great journalist.
    God bless you and your family..

    Jawfer.M (UK)

  4. Sawjana

    Dear Sister

    They killed your dad because of his writing.
    Nobody denied the facts which he has exposed to the world.
    They could kill him to stop writing but never had courage to justify their wrong doings.

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