Aunty Pat

Are you in need of advice? Do you, perhaps, have something that’s bothering you which you can’t share with your friends and family? Write to Aunty Pat and she will answer in her no-nonsense style, just like one of your own aunties. Feel free to write in with a pseudonym if you’d like to remain anonymous.

Dear Aunty Pat,

I’m an O/ Level student at an International School. My friends and I hang out at a shopping mall or a coffee shop after school since most of our parents work. Some of them cut their classes after school. I can’t do that. Anyway, they all smoke and are constantly poking fun at me because I tried it once and I didn’t like it. Recently I got to know they had gone for a movie and dinner without me. Do you think that they think I’m too stiff? What should I do to get them to like me? I want to be friends with them.

Worried girl.

Dear Worried Girl,

First of all, I don’t think much of your choice of friends. What kind of brats are they to waste their parents’ hard earned money by cutting classes and just loafing around? You continue to keep your stand on the smoking issue; some of them might secretly respect you. It’s a matter of time before someone sees them smoking and either reports it to the school or their parents. You should look around and find more sincere kids to move around with. Even if this lot is popular, let me tell you they sound quite empty and nasty. If you do want to continue to be with them, don’t allow them to bully you to do things you don’t want to. They should like you for who you actually are.

Aunty Pat.

———————————————————-

Dear Aunty Pat,

I’m in a big mess. Recently, I went with my girlfriend for a party to her best friend’s house. My girl had too much to drink and was sleeping it off in her friend’s room. Her friend started flirting with me and really coming on to me. Then she told me to go upstairs to another guest room and she would follow. We fooled around but I didn’t feel comfortable knowing my girlfriend was close by. I told her I couldn’t continue and ran downstairs. After a while my girl woke up and asked me to take her home. Now her friend keeps calling me and making suggestions and I don’t know what to do. She won’t stop although I told her I’m not interested. I’m scared that she’ll say something to my girl. Please tell me what to do, because I can’t even sleep properly.

Big Dope.

Dear Dope, (yes, you are!)

Well, my dear, you don’t have to pick up when she calls, you know. You may be nervous she’ll tell on you to your girl, and it serves you right. She’s an apology of a best friend, let me tell you. I think you have no choice but to come clean with your girl, because she deserves to know what kind of a person this other girl is. I don’t know if she will forgive you, but that’s better than her being told a version of what happened by someone else. So, learn to face the consequences of your actions and grow up!

Aunty Pat.

—————————————————————————-

Dear Aunty Pat,

My wife no longer seems to be interested in the physical side of our marriage. She keeps saying she’s really tired, she’s too sleepy or the kids are around. It’s always some excuse or the other. I’m beginning to wonder if she has someone else in her life. What should I do?

Fed up.

Dear Mr. Fed Up,

Instead of writing to me, you should be asking her this question! For heaven’s sake, if she’s a normal housewife, she may be actually tired or sleepy. There is an unending list of chores and duties when there are kids involved. You should ask her if there is anyone else, and why not try to make time and ease her burden so then she will have the energy to concentrate on other things. You could also create an atmosphere and tell her you’d bring dinner home.
Occasionally, put the kids to bed, open a bottle of wine and light a few candles. Or else organize someone to come and stay with the kids so you can take her out and I’m sure she will be in a very mellow mood when you get back home! Use your imagination, man!

Aunty Pat.

———————————————————–

Dear Aunty Pat,

My classmate is seeing our Physics master outside school. No one else knows but me, because she tells her mum she’s with me. I’m scared that something bad will happen to her, but I’m also scared to tell anyone. Please help me.

M.D.P.

Dear Miss M.D.P.,

Kindly stop acting like a brainless twit like your friend and immediately inform either the school or her parents. If you are so scared to speak up, you could ask a grownup who has a close relationship with you to speak to them or it might be too late. This is a criminal offence you are aiding. Act immediately or you will be in a lot of trouble! You should have refused to play along with her right from the beginning.

Aunty Pat.

Please forward your queries and problems to Aunty Pat c/o The Sunday Leader, 24, Katukurunduwatte Road, Ratmalana, or email reviewplusleader@gmail.com