Balderdash

The Little Mermaid (With Heartfelt Apologies
To The Late Walt Disney)

The sea and Beautiful Dreamer are most definitely not friends. We are not descendants of Christopher Columbus or Long John Silver. The most recent sign of disapproval from the sea to BD was to drag her towards a rock during a surfing expedition. Most unfortunately the instructor asked her to stand on the rock and she slipped and trod on a prickly sea urchin, who was just hanging aimlessly and looking for some action. She literally saw stars. She was directed to a state hospital. The doctor there anaesthetized her and removed the barbs embedded in her foot and knee.
When her friends tried to bring her back home, they refused to release her.
After a lot of telephone calls and high drama, finally she was reluctantly allowed to come back to Colombo. They drove her straight to our friendly neighbourhood hospital, you see we have spent many a moon there and some of the staff recognize us. Anyway, it was discovered that she had yet more quills embedded in her feet. So off she was whisked once again to repeat the procedure! We were shown what was removed, and it looked quite grisly so we left it behind for the hospital to maybe display in their array of exhibits. The nurses there told me they had nicknamed her “The Mermaid” because she was there after another mishap at sea about three years ago.
I don’t know about you folk, but when I think of a mermaid I picture her on a rock combing her long hair. Now anyone who knows BD well, is aware that she prefers the “wild and untamed” look and she positively never combs or brushes her hair unless really pushed to do so. I have seen hairdressers shudder in horror at the state of her hair, and Dancing Doll said that one had found that some of her hair had formed dreadlocks and couldn’t be unravelled, and so they had to be snipped off. Also, I don’t see her as the type to alluringly sing, so men will be magnetically drawn to her.
The harp is a very melodious sounding instrument, but I can’t imagine her using it for the supposed purpose! You see, unlike the ship being drawn to be dashed against the rock the mermaid is perching on, it was she who was dashed against the rock when she fell. Maybe magnetically summoned by a merman!
The other close encounter of the nasty kind with the sea was when the two girls were asked to the Maldives to be bridesmaids for a friend’s wedding. Thank goodness the wedding went off without a snag, but unfortunately the happy couple was prevented from completing their honeymoon. They were rudely and unceremoniously interrupted by BD’s accident. The two girls were on this beautiful resort for the balance of their stay, and of course folks had to take pictures to put up on Facebook to show their friends. So they both perched on a pier and got one of the staff to take pictures of them. Then DD walked down into the sea and got more pictures taken. BD said, “I also want photos in the water!” The others told her to hop, ‘She and I must have thought the water was deep like at home, and she took a huge leap in, not realizing the surface was hard and it was shallow. She landed heavily on her feet and managed to dislocate the ankle of one foot and break a bone in her other leg. That was the end of their holiday and since the boat was coming to the island only the next morning, DD had spent a sleepless night watching over her sister.
The newly-weds were at the mainland waiting for them, and the bridegroom who is apparently very strong, carried her off the boat. All the wedding guests (even the grandmother) followed them in a procession to the hospital.
They all spoke excitedly, and when the doctor(once again) refused to release her to fly back home and set her leg, they all set upon him and he recoiled from the onslaught of fury and hastily told them to be gone. She was carried with great pomp and ceremony to the hotel by the bridegroom with most of the population lining the streets to wish this entire operation.
Anyway, we managed to catch her in a weak moment which totally comb out her hair today. Hooray!

- Honky Tonk Woman