Aunty Pat

Are you in need of advice? Do you, perhaps, have something that’s bothering you which you can’t share with your friends and family? Write to Aunty Pat and she will answer in her no-nonsense style, just like one of your own aunties. Feel free to write in with a pseudonym if you’d like to remain anonymous.

Dear Aunty Pat,

My parents don’t give me enough pocket money and I can’t join my friends sometimes on their outings. I feel too embarrassed to tell them and I make an excuse for not going. When I grumble to my parents, they say that is all they can afford. Can you tell me how I can explain to them that this money is not enough? I am a 16-year-old guy and my sister is 13 years old.
Shan.

Dear Shan,

You are obviously still studying. If your parents say they can only afford a certain amount, I’m sorry but you have to accept that. The cost of living is rising as I write this. Why don’t you ask your mum if you can occasionally have your friends over at your house, I’m sure she will oblige. You should also reveal your situation to your friends. If they are sincere, they will accept you anyway. In some other countries, kids earn extra pocket money by doing little jobs like babysitting, helping out in a store etc. If you can do something like this without interfering with your studies, its fine. You have a lot more living to do, so there will be plenty of time for outings when you earn your own money, young man!
Aunty Pat.
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Dear Aunty Pat,

I have been married for 23 years. My kids are grown up and living overseas. My husband is a wealthy man. Recently I got to know that he is often at a friend’s house. When I casually asked him about this, he was evasive. My relatives who live in that neighbourhood told me indirectly that they think he has something to do with the woman living there. When I confronted him he got very angry and told me he could do what he wanted, and if I didn’t like it I could leave. I have nowhere to go and I have never done a job. Now he even brings her home and I have to talk to her. I’m forced to tolerate her. My children don’t know about this. Please advise me what I should do. I’m too ashamed to confide in anyone else.
Sad lady.

Dear Madam,

I don’t know why you should feel ashamed. It is your husband who should for putting you in this intolerable situation! I think you should confide in your family, close friends and maybe even your kids. They might try to knock some sense of decency into him. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. You cannot be forced to tolerate just any old thing. It will definitely be an unpleasant task, but I’m sure it must be even more unpleasant and humiliating to continue in this situation. You have your rights as a human being, so please speak to someone about the situation without further ado!
Aunty Pat.