Aunty Pat
Are you in need of advice? Do you, perhaps, have something that’s bothering you which you can’t share with your friends and family? Write to Aunty Pat and she will answer in her no-nonsense style, just like one of your own aunties. Feel free to write in with a pseudonym if you’d like to remain anonymous.
Dear Aunty Pat,
I have always been plump from the time I was small. I’m 17 years now, and a few weeks ago I overheard some boys in school discussing me and they referred to me as fatso. I felt so bad. So I looked up a diet and I’m counting my calories carefully. My parents haven’t noticed anything because I don’t look any thinner. I feel so depressed. A few days ago, I suddenly felt dizzy and luckily I was near a chair and quickly sat down until it passed. My hands were shaking too. Shall I stop the diet? I feel so stupid, I haven’t told anyone about this because it is so embarrassing.
Big girl.
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Dear Big Girl,
It’s a really good thing if you want to lose weight to be fitter and look better. But it has to be monitored properly. You should tell your mum and go and consult a proper dietician or a doctor. Yes, you should stop until you do this. Maybe you are not doing it the correct way and avoiding foods that your body needs. You will fall ill if you continue. So tell your mum and then work on things from there, I’m sure your parents will support you and then you will have the confidence that they are supervising your weight loss too.
Aunty Pat.
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Dear Aunty Pat,
I’m a 21-year-old guy, the only child of my parents. A few days ago, my parents both sat me down and told me that they had adopted me as a baby. It was a real shock to me, since I always thought they were my parents. They say nothing has to change. I’ve been thinking I would like to know who my birth parents are. Is that ungrateful and wrong of me? I’d like to know but I’m afraid of hurting my parents feelings. What do you think?
Confused.
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Dear Confused,
Your parents might get upset but if you really have a compulsion you should talk it over with them. You could assure them that they will always be your parents in your mind and heart. Also, you will have to face the fact that you might discover something unpleasant about your birth parents. There might be consequences if you pursue this matter, and you should discuss all this with your parents. You might not be successful in tracing them too and then will have to face the disappointment. It’s totally your decision and I can’t make it for you. But remember that you have two people who have cared for you all these years and you are fine as you are. If you still feel the need to follow this through, then you should go ahead, with your parents support.
Aunty Pat.
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Dear Aunty Pat,
I love to cook and try out new dishes. My kids are my biggest fans. But my husband only likes local food and makes a face when I prepare anything else. Even if I make it spicier, he doesn’t seem to enjoy it and sometimes even buys food that he likes from outside when I cook. The children and I enjoy trying out new ways of preparing things. I’m really fed up and annoyed about this, but I haven’t said anything to him. Shall I ask him to be a bit more open?
L. P.R
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Dear L.P.R.,
Most men here like the spicier food and the curries. If you have help, you could get something he would prefer prepared by someone, or it might be too much for you on a daily basis. Or else you could freeze portions of curries and then there are so many safe and clean outlets with hoppers, string hoppers etc. You could buy those so he will be happy. There’s no point trying to force him to change his tastes. So compromise is the answer, I know it requires more work and planning, but it will be worth it all in the end.
Aunty Pat.
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Dear Aunty Pat,
My girlfriend is always shopping and buying clothes, shoes and handbags. She also does her hair and nails regularly at the salon. I ask her if she doesn’t save any of her salary and she laughs and says no. She lives with her parents. I’m nervous that I won’t be able to afford to continue all this when we get married. Should I take this as it comes or speak to her now and voice my fears? I don’t want to displease her too. Do you think she will have second thoughts about our relationship?
Kay.
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Dear Kay,
It’s always good to talk things out. Maybe she will continue to earn her own money even after marriage. But I’m sure she will realize the cost of running a house these days. You mentioned that she lives with her parents, maybe that is why she can be confidently extravagant. Also you are forced to mature when you are on your own. I’m sure she will see things from your perspective, but you should discuss this with her. Then your mind will be at ease.
Aunty Pat.
