Aunty Pat

Hello, Aunty Pat,

I was in a one sided love affair with a girl two years older than me which didn’t work out and I was heartbroken. I forced myself to give her up as our affair had been going on for three years hopelessly. But now I feel like there is nothing to look forward to. I also became extremely hard and as some people call me, ‘evil’. I now have two problems. I feel like there is no purpose in living and I also have very violent and evil thoughts. I also have a bad habit of making perverted jokes and most of my family members won’t talk to me so I cannot turn to anyone for help. I wanted to go for counseling, but my parents only took me to a priest who didn’t help much. I also have my OL’s in December and I don’t know what to do. Please tell me something, because I’m going insane.


Dear J.B.,

You are reacting to the upheaval you experienced recently and lashing out at people. This is a form of asking for help, which is a good thing, because if you kept it all inside, it would have been much worse as your thoughts would fester and appear much darker.

You are behaving like this because you have been hurt and you can’t say it out loud, so you are expressing this in other ways. You’d better buckle down and pull yourself together, because if your exams are in December, this is a deciding factor to your future. You can’t give in to a single drawback in life and just throw everything away.

You could tell your parents you need another counsellor, even if it is another priest, since it is always good to talk out what is eating you inside. The other option is to call at an organisation like Sumithrayo, 60, Horton Place, Colombo 7 and seek help. You can just go in at anytime without an appointment even on holidays from 9am to 8pm. If you want to remain anonymous, you can call their help lines on telephone numbers 2683555 or 2696666. So please don’t despair, there is always a solution to a problem. The only thing is this needs your co-operation too, or else nothing will work out. You must be scaring all the girls away with your obnoxious behaviour! Cheer up,

Aunty Pat.


Dear Aunty Pat,

My husband and I moved into a quiet, remote village by the sea after our only child went to live with in-laws. We were very sad and upset at first as we missed the two adorable grandchildren. One was just beginning to walk and talk.

I am a writer and my husband is a heart patient. He started photography as a hobby. We did go to Ozzy Land once, but with all the paper work and medicals, we vowed never to go again. As someone remarked, going via Christmas Island might have been easier!!

We got used to our new life and were more or less content till my husband struck up a friendship with some folks on the beach front and informed me that he would be going fishing to take photographs of course. Aunty Pat, you can guess what has happened, he is more out of the house than in, even at night, I don’t see many pictures, but I got to know he has been lured by a notorious, beautiful dame in the area.

What can I do now? We put all our savings and bought this house to live a quiet, retired life. Now our dreams were all shattered. Please advise me.

Broken hearted.


Dear Broken hearted lady,

Have you confronted him with this? There is no point in keeping it quiet because that will just encourage him to continue with this relationship. Tell him you are not willing to be his housekeeper, and this was not the plan. Say you are going to inform your child in Australia about this new development. Tell him since you are all alone, you are going to appeal to others for help too. This might shock him to stop, but there is no guarantee this will happen.

Depending on his reaction, you will have to make decisions as to what you are going to do next. Only you can decide, no-one else. Appeal to him and ask him if all these years together and these plans are all to be thrown away. You can’t keep tabs on him all the while, but you can organise a few social activities where he will be forced to attend. Also tell him you don’t like to be left alone in the night. So you will have to see what the outcome of this will be and then make changes if necessary. I’m sure your only child won’t want you to be treated in this way.

Aunty Pat


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