Dear Aunty Pat,

Dear Aunty Pat,

Please tell me how to tackle this problem. We still have fish vendors who go from house to house selling fish, and then they leave the discarded parts by the roadside or in drains, or worse still, in front of neighbours houses. It is only natural that this attracts crows, rats and all types of carrion, who in turn deposit them in our gardens.
This is the second time this has occurred .How do I stop this? I have to spend the whole morning cleaning and getting irritated at the lack of civic sense. Who do I appeal to, so we can put a stop to this type of behaviour?
Irritated lady

Dear Irritated lady,

If I were you, I would be careful not to antagonise the vendors, as you know they always come armed with sharp knives and maybe it would be prudent to be tactful! Why don’t you send out a note to the neighbours asking each of them if and when they buy fish to provide a garbage bag or container so the vendor can put all the discards into it? Then it is up to the person who bought fish to dispose of this in a proper manner. I’m sure if you explain the reason why, no one will get offended and refused to do this simple thing so that something worse can be averted. You have to get on with people in your neighbourhood too, so being confrontational will only aggravate the situation. I’m sure you will meet with a favourable response.

Aunty Pat.

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Dear Aunty Pat,

I am in a relationship with a married and divorced man. We have been living together for the past 11 months. He is perfect in every way towards me, but just one thing is bothering me. He has two kids from his previous marriage and although I have tried to win them over, they are rude and show that they dislike me. They do this only when we are alone together without their father. When I tried to tell him this, he said I must be imagining things, and not to create problems. I was very hurt. He also talks to his ex-wife often; he says he has to because of the kids. She is unattached, and I feel she is trying to get him back. I’m very uneasy about this, but I don’t want to argue with him and make him think negatively about me. Should I be careful and watch out or am I just imagining things? How do you think I should tackle this problem?

K.T.

Dear Ms. K.T.,

You must be feeling insecure because of his previous marriage and after all, he has not yet married you. If I were you, I would somehow show that you are making a real effort where the kids are concerned. It’s natural they will dislike you because they must be seeing you as the person who replaced their mother to win their father’s affection. You should go out of your way to be nice to them, and then he will also appreciate the effort you are making. Don’t expect them to reciprocate anything. If necessary, you should also call or communicate with his ex using the kids as a reason, and then she should also realise you are trying your very best and might advise the kids to be nice to you. I know this is a difficult task, but this will buy you plus points. You have to accept the fact that they will all have to be a part of your life if you intend this relationship to be a permanent one. This is how I think you should tackle this problem.

Aunty Pat.

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Are you in need of advice? Do you, perhaps, have something that’s bothering you which you can’t share with your friends and family?
Write to auntypatto@gmail.com

1 Comment for “Dear Aunty Pat,”

  1. Flatwhite

    Dear Irritated lady, fish vendors have been selling fish in SL for years. SL is a third world country with many poor people. The fish vendors are cheap and the only source of food for most who go to bed with one meal or sometimes no meals at all.

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