Aunty Pat

Dear Aunty Pat,

I have 2 children, aged 3 and 2. Since I am a working mother, I am compelled to send my kids to Day Care rather than leave them at home with servants. So far it has been a pleasant experience, and I must say the teachers have been very kind and helpful…

However now the 3-year-old refuses to go to Day Care or to sleep alone at night and is afraid of the dark etc. It is after the Halloween party they had in the daycare centre.

What shall I do Aunty Patto? I tried to talk him kindly, bribe him etc etc, but nothing seems to be working. I don’t know what to do about this situation.
I spoke to a few mothers whose children go to the same place, and there is another little one who has also been somewhat affected by this event. How do we tackle this problem?

Worried

Dear Worried,

There are children who are more inclined to be fearful of certain things than others. However, the sooner they learn to face their fears and overcome them, the better. Why don’t you try investigating to check if there is a movie that is not scary connected to Halloween and watch it together with your kids.

There are also Halloween related activities, maybe you and the other mum can get together and organise a little party and wear costumes together with another few grownups. However, you will have to explain to the kids’ mums the purpose of this party and ask them not to dress up in anything scary. Involve the kids in organising the party by making the costumes together, carving out a jack o’lantern using a pumpkin and making decorations.

Then maybe you can talk to your neighbours and say you will provide the goodies and take the kids on a trick or treating spree where they each carry a little bag or basket and collect goodies from each house. There are fun games like bobbing for apples etc. which you can check out on the internet. Get them to help you ice a cake in a non-scary shape. I know it takes a lot of time and expense, but if this works at least he will look forward to next year’s Halloween and be rid of all his fears. Just a few suggestions, but I’m sure this will do the trick!

Aunty Pat.

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Dear Aunty Pat,

According to my friends, I’m a geeky kind of guy. I’ve never had a girlfriend even though I’m 22 years old. I started chatting online to a girl about 7 months ago. I really like her, actually I’m quite crazy about her but she won’t tell me her identity or where she lives etc. I really want to meet her but she keeps avoiding the issue. Can you give me some idea how I can show her that she can trust me so I can meet her and know her better? I’m getting quite obsessed with this problem and I can’t even concentrate on my studies. Please help me.

The Geek.

Hello Mr. Geek,

Actually, you can’t really get to know or judge a person by just chatting to them online. It is not the real world, and you never know if this girl is telling you the truth about herself. It is much more practical and realistic to meet a person in the flesh and get to know her and be in a relationship.

This could be just fantasy and someone just trying to amuse herself. You’ll never know until you know her identity and check it out, will you? So my suggestion is to tell her if she’s not interested in revealing herself to you, then you will have no option but to move on. Then you will have to see how she will react. Then if she really wants to meet you, she will definitely tell you. Otherwise I think you are wasting your time in this fantasy of a relationship. If this doesn’t work out, make a special effort and go out with friends and meet people. That is how you get to know new people. You can’t sit at a computer and think that this is reality. I’m sure there are plenty of geeky girls around too!

Aunty Pat

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Are you in need of advice? Do you, perhaps, have something that’s bothering you which you can’t share with your friends and family?
Write to auntypatto@gmail.com

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