22nd December   2002, Volume 9, Issue 23

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NUTSHELL

Mango Friends

The peace dealings between the former warring parties have been progressing pretty well. So much so that it is hard to recognise the former enemies nowadays. “It is like old chums meeting,” Long John at the Secretariat that is Peace was overheard saying last week on Bala and the Professori shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries.

The camaraderie is such that at the next round, Long John would not be surprised if the guys exchange bags full of mangoes. As long as it is mangoes and not explosives, we all are happy and in time we hope there might be mangoes to savour for the other citizens as well.

 

Fasting Time

Satellite’s buddies Alaaavi and two others had organised a dinner at the abode that is Presidential so that the good lady could hob nob with 250 Muslim invitees. From the beginning though things did not go well.

For starters, none of the PA MPs from the same faith were invited, not even the good lady from the NUA. The only family members allowed in were those of the three organisers.

Finally, all of them had to kick their heels, scratch their heads and wait for three long hours for Satellite’s arrival at her own place. And to think the fasting season ended weeks ago.

Old habits sure die hard eh!

 

Call him pina

The best way to bring the screaming MPs together is to import a band, by the looks of it. Members put aside party differences and other such trivialities to scamper for tickets for the latest show, at least on behalf of fellow members. When PA chap, Sarana from the five villages wanted free-bees for the UB40 do, not less than 16 members obliged and signed on the letter.

The helpful souls included Nimal the Sri Palour, the Ven Samitha, Navinna and his pal Soma, Pavithra the Jungle Lady so on so forth. Sarana was the recipient of 34 free tickets. Another list of eight included SLMC’s Thowfique and Harris on the list that had its tickets delivered to Fairy Ashraff’s house.

A little bird whispers that Mahindananda the new village boy was not too happy of our little nut of his going after Ravi K’s sec to get free tickets, denying it to all and sundry. Well, sorry to disappoint you, you happen to be number three in the Ashraff list. And now they call him pina. Sin no!

 

PM sees the Lights

A lawyer by profession Ra -kneel is a modest man, and was seen at the black coats annual pow pow mingling comfortably and reminding all and sundry with refreshing humility that he is the only lawyer to have left the profession as a junior. Having made a hilarious but dignified speech, the Pee Em quipped ‘lawyers have been asking me what I have done for the junior lawyers. As I came into power I  removed from practise, the one who finances, the one who defends, and Far-is the Mustapha.’ Amidst the laughter, one black coat shouted about ‘poosies’ referring to a comment made by Justice Angel Vee Jay Moo. The Pee Em with customary good grace avoided the subject, instead leaving it to the one who presided at the lights of Voet, U-pool Victorysun to deal with such questions as poosies, no doubt aware of the Victorysun’s track record in dealing with the feline variety. Now, wonder whether U-pool’s better half knew what the Pee-em did. You live and learn Chula girl, you sure live and learn what!

 

Voet goes Bajaw

In paradise standards are dropping everywhere and this was evident at the black coats dinner presided by a pug faced U-pool Victorysun who, breaking with hallowed tradition, denied at least five senior counsels that are presidential, seats, being more interested in holding a bajaw session unheard of in the long and respected traditions of the Voetlight society.

Only after severe arm twisting were the president’s counsels, some with over thirty years at the bar able to gain entry to a somewhat mediocre affair. When a lawyer attached to one president’s counsel’s chambers inquired of Victorysun why he was unable to give them tickets when the customary practice is that the president of the Voetlight society hands over ticket books to senior lawyers as a matter of courtesy, Victorysun proudly retorted. ”Why are you complaining? Even Romesh de Silva has not got a table this time.”

‘Voetlights in the best traditions of the legal profession,’ my foot!

 

Justice with a smile

A respected judge from the court that is supreme, on hearing that a president’s counsel also from the brotherhood at whose table he customarily sits had been denied tickets to Voetlights by the inimitable U-pool Victorysun, refused to attend the dinner despite holding a ticket. However, after some serious arm twisting by a fellow lawyer of the female kind the senior president’s counsel was finally given ten tickets and the judge was seen smilingly heading the table. Phew! 

 

Unseated

Alas! the grand nephew of SWRD Banda, Shanaka, was not so lucky. Having in his hand ten tickets for himself and his juniors, he loped into the Oberoi Golden Ballroom dressed up like a bon bon only to find that he did not even have a table. Victorysun was seen running hither and thither in a drunken dither trying to squeeze a kitchen table into a remote corner to seat those unseated by him despite holding fabulously expensive tickets.

Adding to the confusion, many others who held valid tickets were also seen scurrying around in a frenzy with no seats. With a ticket selling at Rs. 1700, it was a tough price to pay for no seats. Knowing the Victorysun’s track record of always being unseated from every post he ever held, this may have been his way of returning the compliment, a wag was heard muttering.

 

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