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By Marianne David

Think ‘women playing rugby’ and one automatically conjures up an image of women built like female wrestlers, an image of muscle-bulging, tough talking women who look like they spend most of their time at the gym.

One would not stop to think that while playing the game pretty well, they could also perfectly well be delicate, quite feminine and have the looks and build of an average woman at the same time.

If you think that’s impossible, take a look at the Havelocks women’s rugby team and you’re in for a wake-up call, and it’s a pleasant one. Consisting mainly of expatriates, these women have dared to follow their hearts’ desires, instead of letting the conventional idea of ‘a woman’ tie them down in a society that can be suffocatingly conventional.

In pursuing their dreams, these women have gone out onto the field tackling men, of doing what they want to do, not stopping to think about the ‘what ifs’ that could arise, like major injuries and society’s reaction.

These female rugby players, who were a delight to meet and a treat to interview, have found a way to step into a sport that is generally thought of as a men only domain with their dedication, willingness to sacrifice and desire to succeed.

While most of them got into it by accident, they say that they get a total sense of satisfaction when playing and have big plans for the future. The team is currently training for a tournament coming up later this month.

It all started when some of the girls played mixed touch rugby with a men’s team called the Puffins every Tuesday at CR&FC. After the Puffins moved to Havelocks, one of the guys had approached them and asked if they were interested in getting a team together for a ladies’ tournament to represent Havelocks and thus, the team was born.

So far, the team has been together for just a few months but has already won the trophy in their second ever match last October where they played against 12 other teams.

“It was a really good day,” said Lee, one of the players.

The team does not play only against other women’s teams; they have also played against the army team and play with the Puffins regularly.

With tournaments coming up, these women sure put a lot of effort into the game. The team practices twice a week and plays mixed touch rugby with the men’s team once a week as well. While one would think that it would be pretty difficult to play rugby with the guys, Lee says that it’s brilliant.

“We had a match with the army team and they were very supportive. On Thursdays we play with the Puffins too,” said Lee.

“I get such an adrenalin rush while playing and feel fantastic after a game. After practice we have a chat and socialise together. We also organise events and it’s a fantastic way to meet people.”

Nell says that she got into the game by accident and thinks it’s fantastic. “We have a team that comes and goes so most times we make up a team at the last moment but I really enjoy playing.”

Sharon, another player says that she got into the game through a friend. “I used to play tap rugger for fun and I watch lots of rugger. Being in this team is very good for discipline and fitness and it feels good to play.”

Margaret, who is engaged, says that her fiancé is very, very happy that she is in the team. “He plays rugby and thinks it’s great and also very funny,” she says, holding a rugger ball he gave her.

Lianna says that she was initiated into the sport when they started playing as a mixed team and the women’s team started since there were a significant number of players who wanted to get together. “My boyfriend thinks its good for me because I’ve always enjoyed sport.”

Nishantha Chanaka, their coach, says that the team played the last tournament, which they won, quite well and adds that there is lots of potential since the players are really interested in the game. “They are hard to control and collect but they know the game and just have to brush up a little. We have to improve a lot, but in a short period they have learnt a lot and they play well.”

Lee says that there have been no major injuries while playing with the guys. “They are very aware of us and make sure that we actually get to play properly. They don’t treat us with kid gloves but help us to develop our skills.”

The team is trying to get more Sri Lankans in she said, adding that they will be having a massive recruitment drive shortly to recruit players. “There is no negative aspect at all and even the crowd reaction has been very positive. We want to encourage girls in Sri Lanka to come and play. It’s all about normal girls really enjoying a sport and it’s a great way to keep fit,” she said.

Religion or universal ethics?

Continued from last week...

Ibn Rushad an Arab philosopher who lived in Spain in the 12th century, said, “Religions were meant for fools and for children or they could not be acted upon.”

Consciousness

All matter in the universe have been classified into two categories viz;  the living and the non-living. It is the nervous tissue that animates matter and causes the difference. The nervous system is the mechanism which enables an organism to react in response to external and internal stimuli, for its well being. Impulses go every second to the sensory cortex from the six sense organs via the posterior nerve roots and cause the organism to be alert and sensitive to its environs. The subject is, so to say, in a state of alertness, which in medical parlance is known as ‘consciousness.’

If the subject is blindfolded and all 31 pairs of posterior nerve roots severed, no impulse enters the sensory area of the cerebrum. The skeletal muscles will lose their tone i.e. become flaccid, it will not know its sense of position either, and will lie unconscious like a dead animal though its vital functions will be intact.

Until modern medical science acquired complete knowledge of the human anatomy and physiology, theologists and philosophers drilled into the ears and minds of their followers that the heart was the receptacle of all sensations, storehouse of knowledge and seat of memory. Thanks to medical science for proving that the heart was merely a hollow muscular organ whose only function was to pump blood out to all parts of the body, and that it was the nervous system that animated the physical body of all beings.

Soul’s location

Theologians and philosophers have still not stated the exact location of the soul in our body; what happens to the soul when the animal is in a state of pathological coma, during sleep, under the influence of narcotic drugs etc. The Buddha and the materialists were perhaps correct when they enunciated the anatma vada doctrine. The words, soul and consciousness are probably synonyms for one and the same phenomenon viz;- soul and consciousness (sign of life).

Karma (action) is of two kinds viz; speech and deed. All religious leaders and philosophers are unanimous in their teachings that good karma is a passport to heaven (moksha / nibbana) while bad karma sends one to suffer eternal torment in hell / fall in the grip of sansara until the individual earns merit to attain moksha / nibbana.

Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism enunciated the doctrine of karma or cumulative effect of one’s actions in former lives, as the central point of their teaching. The soul was born again and again (sansara) on account of its karma. If, by right living and thinking one can get rid of one’s karma, the individual attains moksha / nibbana. This can only be attained by practicing purity of thought, word and deed i.e. by practicing rigidly the pancha sil. Be good, do good, see good. It is strange that people praise their religion, fight for their religion but do not practice the precepts of their religion.

The question that arises is, can a child of 10 or a mentally retarded adult be considered as having committed a wrongful act, if such a person had stabbed another to death or if animals whose sixth sense has not developed to the degree of man’s, commit crimes? Why did God create the cat and the rat in our homes, the tiger and the deer in the forests, the shark and the sprats in the seas? Is God not aiding and abetting killing? Can lower beings observe the pancha sil?

Theologists and philosophers are not unanimous in their views.

They differ in their concept of God, soul, re-birth, karma etc. The blind should not lead the blind. Truth is one. There can be no competition between truth and truth e.g. 1+1=2: 1+2 cannot also be 2.

Aeronauts have explored and have walked on the moon, not due to the generosity and grace of God, but due to the help of modern science and technology. We are today in the age of science and technology viz; rockets, missiles, test-tube babies, transplantation of organs, limbs etc. Functions hitherto believed to have been the exclusive monopoly of God, are now being performed by man (science). We have every reason to be optimistic that our astronauts will, in the near future explore the celestial regions of the various Gods and acquaint us with the life our ancestors are living in the so called pleasure-gardens and torture-chambers up in the skies.

Ethnicity comes by birth. It cannot be changed. Religion on the other hand is something that is thrust on an individual and the individual can, if he / she wishes, change his/her faith any time, any number of times if he / she so desires.

As during the last 2000 years or more, religions have failed miserably to foster unity and peace among the various races of the world. It is time we considered the feasibility or otherwise of continuing the teaching of religion to our children. It must be admitted that religion drives man into water-tight compartments which in turn creates rivalry, animosity, hatred etc. among the different sects of the followers of the same religion. Religions have miserably failed in their efforts to make this earth a haven for all mankind.

If Sri Lanka is to face the challenges of the 21st century, we should, instead of teaching religion and philosophy, focus attention on teaching universal ethics, science and technology to our children. If we remain blind to this fact, we may, forever, remain a third world country. Sri Lanka should make an honest effort to register for herself a berth among the developed nations of the world. Books on religion, philosophy and ayurveda should be sent to the National Archives for eternal rest in peace.

Dr. S. K. Vadivale

He was strict with politicians and bureaucrats...

We continue our serial of  B. Sirisena Cooray’s book on President Premadasa — Premadasa And I - Our Story

We started by preparing a work schedule. The first task was to arrange for the supply of bricks of the right quality. We summoned a meeting of brick suppliers all over the country in Anuradhapura and placed orders with them. The bricks would be tested by archaeological experts for the right specifications before being accepted. But still I could see that there would be a serious shortfall in the supply of bricks. So I met the President, explained the situation to him and asked for more time. For the first time in his life he agreed to a postponement. I managed to convince him not to announce the new date until I told him. I was working to a target but I did not want to tell him that. I must state that we did not use any government funds for the job. Mr. Premadasa gave some money from the President’s Fund and the balance we collected from the public.

Restoration work

After about three months the President called me. He knew I was having problems with the restoration work. He gave me a piece of paper with a drawing done by Ven. Kotugoda Dhammawasa Thero. The Thero had gone to Burma where there are a lot of Buddhist priests meditating in the jungle. He had gone to one of these jungle hermitages. A resident monk had talked to him through the interpreter and said: “in your country there is some restoration work going on; you will not be able to complete it until a certain task is attended to.” Then he had gone on to say that prior to the construction of Mirisawetiya another small chaithya had been built in close proximity, in 24 hours. This small chaithya was supposed to have been built for the God inhabiting the place where Mirisawetiya was going to be built. The Burmese monk had said that until that place is located and the small chaithya is rebuilt in 24 hours it would not be possible to complete the restoration work.

So I got down Ven. Dhammawasa Thero and went to the site with Archaeological Department officials and started looking for the place where the small chaithya stood. But we could not find it. My assumption was that since it was built in 24 hours it could not have been a big one. Of course I have to admit that at this point I did not take this tale very seriously; I was just humouring Mr. Premadasa. Finally I informed the President that the location could not be found and the search would have to be abandoned; he did not object. But the work was not progressing because there was a severe shortage of bricks.

By this time I was getting worried. Then one of our people told me that the former incumbent of the Sambodhi Viharaya wanted to meet me. He had heard this whole story and he explained it to me in a different way. He said: “when you want to build something there are certain pre-conditions you have to fulfil; rebuilding this miniature chaithya is one such thing.” I thought that sounded logical. So I went back to the site with Ven. Dhammawasa Thero. I thought through the whole thing and concluded that we have not been able to find the location for two reasons – because what we are looking for is a very small edifice and because it was built 1000 years ago and it has been completely destroyed with time. So my suggestion was that we should build a small chaithya close to Mirisawetiya. The priest was wondering whether it could be done in 24 hours but I undertook the responsibility. And we did it — a replica of Mirisawetiya built in 24 hours. I was there throughout, until it was finished.

The next day we had another meeting. I asked the Archaeological Department officials once again why they could not supply us with the necessary bricks since they too are making them. All this time they had been saying they can’t do that. On that day they agreed. After that the work progressed fast. So one has to admit that there was something in that legend. Unfortunately we could not finish the job before the President was assassinated.     

 Many of the things Mr. Premadasa wanted to accomplish, he could not because of the turbulence in the country. It was not only the JVP and the LTTE but also the problems in our own camp. However despite all the problems his Presidency was a good period. He introduced a sense of discipline which is totally lacking today. He also set a certain standard. He felt that without development there could not be peace in the country. He believed in building a sense of mutual respect, a sense of solidarity between people belonging to different ethnic groups and religions. And with his life he exemplified these ideals. We do not have leaders like that anymore.

Chapter X

The impeachment

The insults and the baseless accusations against Mr. Premadasa became infinitely worse after he became the president. If some of these accusations were made during the time he was the PM, he would have never been made the UNP candidate; the party hierarchy would have used these to deprive him of the candidacy. When he became the president many of those who looked down on him for caste and social reasons regarded it as an intolerable insult. His achievements only made them angrier and they tried to bring him down somehow. They could not attack him on his work, his thinking and his vision because there was nothing to tell. So they attacked his character. The accusations were not the usual ones because in these areas too there was nothing anybody could say. Therefore they had to resort to other types of accusations. First they made fun of his family background, his caste etc. Then they blamed him for the killings using his ‘background’ as both proof and justification — “what else can you expect from a person of his background” is what they used to say. 

When Mr. Premadasa became the president, he tried to set new standards. Reform was necessary but he was doing things too fast. That is why I think Mr. Premadasa should have expected the impeachment. Because such a backlash is inevitable when you try to change the established set up and to change it fast. He was in a hurry so he felt he had to do everything at the same time; he felt very strongly that he could not afford to wait. That was why he was so strict with politicians and bureaucrats.

I once asked him: “Why are you so harsh with these people.” I still remember his reply: “politicians contest; they go to parliament. From that moment they get scolded by the people like thieves; nothing good is said about them. I want to change all that. I want to make people revere politicians by changing politicians. That is why I am doing all this. Today some people may criticise me. I know I am unpopular with some people. Not today, not tomorrow, but in 20 years they will admit that I did the right thing.” And he was right. During his time no MP or minister was accused of corruption, not even in parliament. If there were any accusations they were against him.

Slander/campaign

The campaign of lies and slander against Mr. Premadasa received a boost with the killing of Richard de Soyza. I remember that Mr. Premadasa was very upset about that killing. He did not know anything about it until after it happened. But I know he felt very sorry about the whole thing. Several times he asked me whether I knew who was responsible. He wanted me to check with Ronnie Gunasinghe. I did so and Gunasinghe swore that he had nothing to do with it. He said: “Sir it was not us. It was an amateurish job.” I told this to Mr. Premadasa and he agreed. I felt that by this time he had found out how it happened.

I remember that Lalith brought this case up at the cabinet meeting. He spoke sense; he warned that this incident would go against the government. Ranjan was seated next to me and he whispered to me: “Why is this fellow worried?”

I do not think that Richard was killed because of his involvement with the JVP. I think it was done for some personal reason. I don’t think even the army knew. I remember asking Cecil Waidyaratne: “Why did they allow the body to be recovered? Why did they go to the house in full uniform to take him away? Surely he could have been abducted on the road if they wanted to keep it a secret?” All these things are still mysteries. I should also say that Richard is still being talked about because of his class background. It is true that this talk is limited to Colombo. But still it did us enormous political damage. Perhaps Mr. Premadasa should have tried harder to uncover what really happened. Perhaps he did not want to antagonise the army and the police. He may have been worried that they would turn against him. And he could not afford to antagonise Ranjan either.

* * *

One of the main factors that led to the impeachment was the dissatisfaction felt by Lalith Athulathmudali and Gamini Dissanayake about the way Mr. Premadasa treated them. Both of them were very disappointed at not been made the PM. I talked to both of them after Mr. Wijethunga was appointed prime minister. Before that I told the President that I did not agree with his choice of the prime minster. I said: “You should have appointed one of these two fellows. We should have let them fight it out.” I think Mr. Premadasa was a little angry. He asked me: “Why are you saying this? Can’t you remember what these fellows did?” I said: “Yes. I remember. But they both worked for you during the presidential election.” Then he said: “Let us see how they are going to work. You know what President Jayewardene did to me. But still I defended him in parliament and I continued to work for the party. So let us see what these fellows are going to do”. He also told me that Mr. Wijethunga was appointed only for one year.

The Lankan woman — quo vadis?

By Mandana Ismail Abeywickrema

It is somewhat hard to fathom how one would witness the total liberation of women in a patriarchal society where gender disparity is abundant. However  much emphasis being laid on women’s rights around the world, the plight of women is expected to take a turn for the better.

Although women’s rights have found acceptance  in the Western world, the question is whether these rights have the same level of acceptance  in the less developed countries in the Asian and African continents. Most women in these countries still live in the shadow of a man — first the father, then the husband and finally the son. Although much has changed where attitudes are concerned, the birth of a boy is still considered a more jubilant event than the birth of a girl.

On the issue of sexual abuse of women, most often than not, the victim is looked down upon and blamed by society while the wrong-doer walks out free. As for domestic violence, the minute a woman comes out with her grievance, society once again tend to find fault with the woman.

International Women’s Day

Yesterday was International Women’s Day. As the world celebrates with various programmes, it is an opportune time to take a look at the real plight of the Sri Lankan woman. With many women’s rights activists coming out forcefully with anti abuse slogans even in Sri Lanka, whether these cries have been heard by the people who matter is  what needs to be seen. Has the number of battered women in the country reduced? Are they treated with dignity? Do they have equal rights?

It is high time we look deeper to see whether women in Sri Lanka really have the rights they are entitled to.

According to Savithri Wijesekara of Women In Need (WIN), Sri Lankan women today are a little more empowered than earlier. They are now looking into options to find their way out of the labyrinth of physical and sexual abuse. Such a change in attitude is definitely a positive sign. However, there yet remains a lot to be done for Sri Lankan women to achieve a reasonable state of liberation.

Speaking of physical and sexual abuse endured by Sri Lankan women, Wijesekara observed that though there are no specific reasons, there definitely is an increase in the number. According to Wijesekara, the violence prevalent in today’s society coupled with the war, which has paved the way for many to gain access to weapons, are the main reasons for the increase in violence.

During the past year, WIN has received over 6,000 cases of domestic violence, which, as Wijesekara pointed out, was 1,000 more than the previous year. However, unlike earlier, battered women have now decided to come out .

Wijesekara explained that the awareness created on domestic and sexual abuse suffered by women in the country, along with precautionary methods and methods of salvation,  have given them the strength to resort to take action. While some take their grievances to courts, some prefer to receive counselling. “In such instances, especially where domestic violence is concerned, with the consent of the victim, the counsellor speaks to the spouse and children to look into ways of solving the problem,” said Wijesekara.

However, the number of women who bring their cases out seeking help is just a drop in the ocean, as there are hundreds and thousands who suffer in the dark. Their sorrows and tears are limited to the four walls that surround them. One wonders why these women have opted to suffer in silence when there is help at hand. Is it because they are backward?

Pawns in society

According to Wijesekara, these women are not backward, but mere pawns in a patriarchal society suffering from gender disparity. Girls and boys are brought up in different ways and what goes into their minds at an early age continue into their adult lives. Wijesekara explained that once a girl gets married and begins to have arguments with her husband, her mother and grandmother would always advise her to be patient and be quiet, as her husband is just being a man. At this point, the girl is given the impression that to stand up for what she believes is right is shameful. Fear is also added to the matter. Once these thoughts are embedded in a woman’s mind, whenever she feels abused she would question herself, whether she is at fault. The social stigma stops them from seeking justice.

“Some women who come to WIN have been battered for about three or four years before they reluctantly decide to come out with their sorrows,” said Wijesekara. However, unlike the older generation, the younger generation seems to be more aware of the options available to them. Although many prefer counseling, only a few resort to taking legal action.

Explaining further, Wijesekara said that in some instances, domestic violence takes a nasty turn. According to her, the WIN branch at the National Hospital has looked into 250 victims of domestic abuse referred to them by the hospital. Wijesekara observed that the attitude of battered women has changed through the years, but the process has been very slow. She added that men too play a vital role in reducing the number of women suffering from sexual and other forms of physical abuse.

The legal front

Secretary, Women’s Affairs Ministry, Lalitha Dissanayake told The Sunday Leader that although there are many women suffering from sexual abuse and domestic violence, they have no exact figure. “It is prevalent, but not on record,” she said. Legislation to look into matters of women’s abuse is being formulated. Dissanayake went on to say that the Ministry is working on the legalities, and hopes to introduce an Act  by the end of the year.

However, Dissanayake observed that as part of the International Women’s Day celebrations, the Ministry plans to address the matter of equal opportunities in employment. Explaining further, Dissanayake stated that there are discrepancies in female employment, adding that although women have achieved something substantial socially, there is still a lot to be achieved economically and politically.

Where employment is concerned, women are expected to be satisfied with jobs considered to be of ‘lower levels,’ also considered low paid jobs. According to Dissanayake, women should step out of the conventional jobs for women — teaching, nursing, clerical work, etc. — and be introduced to new areas of employment. Speaking of employed women, she noted they too face gender discrimination when it comes to wages and promotions.

“Women bring in the largest share of foreign income into the country,” said Dissanayake. Unfortunately, in most cases women have become victims here as well. Women’s labour has been exploited and they face many problems regarding their employment, abroad. Dissanayake pointed out that the return they get for their work is very poor, especially the living conditions and most of all respect.

Dissanayake went on to say that the unemployment rate of women is double  the rate of unemployed men and that has been so for the past 15 years. Many women graduates too don’t find decent jobs. The reason for this as Dissanayake pointed out is the fact that many tend to employ less qualified people at a lower pay.

Another aspect that hinders women where employment is concerned is the dual role played by women — Juggling the roles of housewife and career woman. They have to balance both and the minute there is an imbalance, women have to face grave situations, either at home or at the work place. According to Dissanayake, this stops women from reaching top posts in their chosen fields.

However, Dissanayake stated that since gaining independence, there has been a remarkable improvement in the position of women where health and education are concerned. As for other aspects, Dissanayake observed that there is a lot to be done, and it takes time. She added that men too have a role to play in order to find lasting solutions to problems faced by women.

The Sunday Leader’s efforts to contact the officer in charge of women’s affairs in the Women and Child Bureau of the Sri Lanka Police were not successful.

All in all, the plight of women in Sri Lanka has changed little. Women’s rights seem to exist mainly in the minds of women’s rights activists. The changes that have taken place in society have to be acknowledged, but the pace is far from satisfactory. A lot has to be done to alleviate the position of women in the country, and the sooner the better. If things keep happening at  snail’s pace, then women in Sri Lanka will continue to remain backward in the world.

My 22 year old breadwinner has lost the will to live

By Ranee Mohamed

The room is hot and stuffy. The fan is not switched on. There is no TV, no radio, merely an old worthless bed. On this lies Chitrangani’s  priceless possession – her twenty two year old son. Sasanka Perera, fresh-faced and young, yet unable to move anymore. These tender, yet sturdy limbs once worked hard to bring food to the table. They played cricket, they ran errands, they did every possible thing to make his mother happy since his father died.

But not anymore.

This is an appeal from the family of the late M.S. Perera, a peon of the Court of Appeal. When Perera passed away on February 10, 2002, the family had to survive on his pension of approximately Rs.4,000.

Today, Chitrangani and her sons Achira (21) and Dilshan  (13) have banded together to look after their older brother Sasanka. Sasanka was the tower of strength to this family; Sasanka, brought home first the certificates from school, and then the money.

 He fed his family for years. But today his mother is barely able to feed him. Tube feed him, that is. “I have to give him a milk powder which costs Rs. 886 and I cannot afford that. So I have to put what is available down the nasal tubes, sometimes it is kenda, sometimes fruit juice, sometimes nothing” cries this mother in pain.

It is painful when a rich family has to tube feed their 22 year old, but it is even more painful when a family which has to strive to live presentably, has to be tube-feed their 22 year old. For they have to recognise unacceptable facts, that they have nothing to send down that tube.

Sasanka Perera was diagnosed as having a condition called ‘hole in the heart’ when he was just three months old. But the physician at that time had assured his parents that this could ‘close up.’ They had waited in hope, in fact, this family’s only expectation, only wish from God had been that there will come a natural healing.

But the anxious parents got only more bad news. They were asked to bring back Sasanka when he was 12 years.

“When Sasanka was admitted to hospital at12 years, he was infected with chicken pox so we had to bring him home,” explained Chitrangani. Then again when we took him to the general hospital we were told that ‘the machine was broken.”’

“We were tense and frightened and we could not take it anymore. Then my husband said that perhaps there is a message in this operation not taking place, maybe this is the bad time and that we ought to wait,” said Chitrangani.

In the meantime, the family waited fearfully. “Even if he developed a common cold, we had to give him antibiotics,” pointed out his mother.

After his Ordinary Level examination Sasanka had been telling his friends that he was going in for surgery.

When the actual surgery took place it was on March 9, 2002. Going in for ‘VSD’ and ‘AVR,’ what Sasanka expected was to come back home alive. But something quite different happened.

“It was a time when there was a rumour about a germ in the operating theatre. On the second day after the operation, my son developed a rise in body temperature. We had to do some tests and when I went inside to see him, he was crying. He told me not to come in, that he was dying. I was heartbroken. I love my boy very much and even to this day I remember the day he was born,” cried Chitrangani.

On examination of the patient, a physician however had revealed to Chitrangani in her son’s presence that “there had been a leak after the first operation.”

“He was taken in for surgery again on March 24 and after the operation sent to the ICU. During the operation, they said that his heart had stopped. When I saw him again it was on March 25. My son was on a ventilator. He was not conscious,” cried Chitrangani.

For three months Chitrangani sat by her son and waited for him to regain consciousness.

And when he opened his eyes, it had lifted Chitrangani’s heart and soul. But her happiness was shortlived. For though she got her son back, she had actually lost him. All he could do was look at her with his sad eyes and leave everything else unsaid.

For Sasanka could no longer talk, no longer move, no longer hug her or say that he will do everything for her for as long as he lives.

“My second son has a problem with his hormones, but I am unable to do anything, because of my Sasanka. We have to be with him, feed him, wash him and clothe him,” she said. Her house down a narrow passage at No. 103 Vihara Mawatha, Bellanwila, Dehiwala is cluttered. Worry and anxiety are in the air .

The family has been advised to not let this 22 year old stare out of the blocked window. “Maybe you should keep a TV beside him and make life more comfortable for him,” suggested a social worker.

 But for Chitrangani who is weighed down with bills, who is unable to switch on the cobweb ridden fan to  soothe her son’s clammy body, a TV is like a dream on celluloid itself.

There is much sadness around us. There are many who are grieving, many in want and in pain. Being unable to give one’s young son what he needs, especially when he is bedridden is perhaps the cruelest pain that fate can give to a mother.