22nd  June,  2003, Volume 9, Issue 49

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NUTSHELL

Emperor’s clothes

The seat of democracy was turned into the seat of shrill last week when the opposing types performed the funeral dance in black complete with a miniature coffin. But the planning had not been upto date, at least when it came to Amunu-village.

The poor soul, despite professing to be in the know of all things  opposition, walked into the house white as a dove while the rest of the gang were doing the funeral in black. Quite conspicuous, Amunu was looking for the cover of black. And who should come to the rescue but Gajan P. Junior P had removed his black coat as he did not want to play any part in the funeral game. Junior’s portly size was more than two sizes larger for Amunu-village, but our man at last joined the figurative pyre in an over hanging coat. Hoo! Hoo!

 

Sartorial elegance

Ra-kneel is on his way to Old Blighty and not empty handed mind you. He is taking specially made shirts of a maximus type for Blare. The special order is collar size 16 1/2 with extra size sleeves to accommodate the longer than usual arms. Next time Blare is in full flair, thank our boy Ra-kneel. Hmmm...

 

Top cop

The cops under the hammer with the rising crime rate should turn to the best detective in town, the one in a saree. Who else but ol’ Satellite. When she heard of the recovery of a mobile at the murder scene of the blue provincial councillor, the good lady quipped, “Bring it to me and I will solve the crime in 10 minutes.” Give it to her man, for God sake, give it to her.

 

Green eyed monster

And Satellite thinks that 4.5 billion greenbacks are peanuts. When she met Tee-luck the defensive one she had a tete a tete with him and told him that the performance in Tokyo was nothing much and that she had done it before.

The defensive one, however, did not oppose the assertion but kept his trap shut. Knowing his soft spot for Satellite, there is no wonder why. For, when Chandiya of SriLankan fame told Tee-luck that Satellite was a lady with a warm heart, the defensive one dropped all defenses and said that he wouldn’t mind a chance to feel the warmth. Gotcha man!

 

Getting it off the chest

And it was that heat that the Green cupboard was debating last week. Hack-eem was all goo goo, ga ga about the Tokyo performance and all praise about Ra-kneel’s professional approach. Having worked with Satellite, he added, he knew which was best. If it was Satellite according to Hack-eem, she would have played the cards close to her chest and bungled the process as Ass Bee and the Dentist with the Big Mouth would know, Hack said.

“What would they know, about the chest or about the process?” queried Ty-ron, the foreign one, in all innocence. Cheeky aren’t we!

 

Green berets

The young turks in the Green camp too have their little tiffs. Recently during a meeting of the Greens from the five villages, Ravi, the silver screen hero was all in a twist that Ole-hitter had walked into his turf and created trouble at a bus depot. It was so bad that the depot chaps were threatening to go on strike. “Hey. I go where I want, this is my kingdom,” retorted the accused which left the screen hero lost for words. It was the intervention of Karu the Victory Sun that soothed the tempers. Karu reminded the lot that there was a code of ethics here. The problem pal, is that no one seems to be giving two hoots about that little code; they are all hell bent on decoding it. Ha!

 

Mr. Big Bucks

And here is one last nut about Ray-noo. Now when our man goes the gym way to pump, all the ladies go, “Ahh... The 20 million man.” There is more; the Leading rag has gone missing from studios that Ray-noo is heading. Guess it is hear no evil, see no evil eh!


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