NUTSHELL

Buy Indian - Be Indian

Guess who came to dinner at the Navaratne to sample everything Indian - none other than ole Somay from Blighty, the Clown Prince and Kesere-lal, the chair from the house by the lake.

Somay did not even look sheepish as he waltzed into the five star Taj and sat at the Navaratne gleefully ordering everything Indian.Gone were Somay's loud ranting against big brother India as he slurped with gusto his dosai, chappatti and sambar.

Three bottles of wine were served to the trio and a little bird whispers the bill was for sure not picked up by the Clown Prince, who eats and drinks for summa. Instead, the books at the house by the lake will have to be checked. Two plus one will reveal who paid for the Indian supper.

And here we have ole Kesere-lal screaming till he is blue in the face that all is free and fair at the Daily Noise. Well, well, politics old boy certainly makes strange bedfellows eh? Naughty. Naughty.

Gone Green

And the sandanaya has gone from its symbol as lotus eaters to a butterfly and now to a betel leaf. The silly blots changed the butterfly symbol after a wag commented the beautiful moth is born out of the repellant dalambuwa.

Terrified the image would scratch the hides of the Podu Peramuna types and the Rathu Sahodarayas while on the campaign trail, a new image was chosen. This one beats the rest.It is the traditional bulath kola. Manthras have already been chanted that it will not be chewed and spat out by the masses. The Rathu Sahodarayas at least will get a taste of their own pata.

But wait - talking of colour - it suddenly hit the sandanaya types that the bulath kola is kola pata - the trade mark of the Eksath Jathika Pakshaya. The sahodarayas are now all scratching their hides and chewing over what could possibly be the next symbol.Well, well lady luck may still be on the side of the greens after all - ouch! 

Star struck

Now how can we forget that schmuck Konanethipala? Not only does he arrive at the house of justice in an ambulance, clad in white, shrouded in sheets, and aided by a walker, but last week the schmuck hired an anjanan eliya type to chant manthras outside the usaviya.

Doing justice, the sastharakaraya was determined to sing for his bread and butter and with each manthra his voice got louder and louder. Finally exasperated cops had to tell the man to pipe down or the rats would all come out.Konakapala indeed looked well set to do just that hoping for a marathon run but the mindless blot was instead forced to contain himself to the walker. Anney, anney - sin no?

Them bad uns

Remember Hot Garden and his horrible brats? Last week one of the trio was speeding and knocked flat a father and son at the cultural city. And while the victims were being treated for their wounds, the brat was telling the khaki types that he was not guilty but a security type was named.

The fall guy, a little bird whispers, was only a passenger.Well, well, it certainly brings back memories. Remember how a bodyguard had to bear the rap when aiya pulled the trigger on Pera?And how can we forget the chief who was flying high who named a poor airman to take the rap after he knocked dead a poor cleaner. This, as they say is Sri Lanka after all - what to do men?

Hot stuff

Brats and all, Hot Garden is all set for winning back his seat in the hill capital. The blackguard is seeking nomination despite Satellite deciding to place him on the list that is national and not name him as a Podu Peramuna angel.

Hot Garden will have none of it and is insisting on a nomination. The git is determined that come hell or highwater he will force the ballot in his favour. And what does it matter if the ballot has to be got via the bullet eh?

Hot Garden has proved his prowess and we all know he is a past master at the game... the last time Hot Garden was let loose in Nuwara 10 guys paid with their lives. But who cares men, none of them was a somebody no?

Power drunk

And hardly have the hustings got underway before the angels from the Podu Peramuna are licking their lips and smacking their hands already dreaming of the oh so sweet flavour of power.

On Thursday night Merv the Loud Mouth was in action.He called the khaki types no less than three times ordering them to strike off their charge sheet the name of his Sec who had been caught minus a driving licence.

The Sec himself is as loud as ole Merv. When stopped by the cops, passersby were treated to a right royal show as the Sec blasted the khakied Johnnies in style and then hopping into his limo shouted, "wait until April the 2nd - thereafter we shall deal with you all."Well, well, its high time Run-jit old boy you got into action eh?