NUTSHELL

Once, twice, thrice!

Somay from ole Blighty was taken to the ganadevi kovil at the old kingdom in preparation for the big rally. The blot was told to dash with all his might a coconut. With the first throw only bits of pol mudda flew. The dashed thing did not crack even with a second throw and ole Somay's eyes grew wild. Only a third effort drew results and the gediya flew open much to Somay's relief who could be seen breathing long and deep... Well, well... If only ole Somay knew that the kovil was one among many that was reduced to ashes during the July of '83. There is a God above after all eh?

The Arachnid...

And talking about God, remember the Clown Prince and his letter of doom prophesying horses of death and an apocalypse to the Ed of this rag? Well the Leading types set a trap for the Clown after he claimed to all and sundry he never authored that bit of hate mail.  Via a mutual friend he was asked innocently if his reference to an apocalypse had anything to do with the movie since the Clown prides himself on being a movie buff. Pat came the Clown's reply "No, No, it was taken from the Bible..." Gotcha!

Bitter Sweet

Apart from writing his letters of doom the Clown Prince is now enjoying a humongous sulk. The reason? The man was not allowed to speak at the sandhanaya's inaugural rally - only akka took pride of place. So the Clown boycotted.

Satellite for her part went to the rally and played musical chairs. The Rathu Sahodarayas had planned to sit one on either side of her ample bosom. Ole Somay was placed on her left and Wee-flower on her right with the opposing one next to Wee-flower.

Satellite was none too pleased, pointedly leaning across Wee-flower she whispered to the opposing one and no sooner had she stood to speak the opposing one shifted to her seat forcing Wee-flower to move next to Somay so the Prez would have a chair next to Mahind-er when she finished her speech. Well, well as we have said before, this marriage for sure is yet to be consummated, eh?

Groomsman

Wee-flower for his part has been reeking of all things nice since of late. The blot has hair slicked with expensive gel, a beard that is trimmed to a tickle and a manicure and pedicure to boot.

The result a little bird whispers are due to his visits to the Hilton. Nay, not to sample the raw fish but to flit into the salon that is Ra-money and enjoy a shampoo and trim with liberal helpings of gel and gloss. No more for the bloodthirsty blot is his sweat of yore a label to sport. Instead to look good and smell divine is now all important. Hmm... Capitalism certainly has its pluses doesn't it old man?

Howzat!

And Wee-flower is not just smelling good but doing the naughty as well. No, no, not that kind but this time its with the saffron robe types. Last week the selacine types arrived pronto outside the abode of Tilak the Uru-meeya to film a protest of the monks.

But the TV types arrived only to find not a robe in sight. One of the crew immediately called Wee-flower and the conversation went something like this... "mahaththaya, ekkenek vath nahe..."

Half an hour later a bevy of monks appeared and Tilak the Uru-Meeya was treated to an entertaining spectacle outside his front gate. The selacine types? They got their film and everyone was a happy boy including the sadhus. A little bird whispers that one thing is for sure and that is Wee-flower did not have his head under a shampoo at the time, instead he was biting a few of those manicured nails... Hee... Hee

The Avurudhu kumari

Satellite's national list has been the talk of the town. Having left out two old heavyweights, Hot Garden and Rat-nasiri the Prez had instead nominated Loose-ida.

Satellite owes the lady one for gathering all those Anjanan Eliya types and so Loose-ida a former avurudu kumari had earned the Prez's merit.

Loose-ida by the way is the better half of Merve the loud mouth. We can but only hope that Loose-ida will not treat the sandhanaya to a right royal burst of four letter epitaphs like good ole hubby eh? After all we cannot now make the sahodarayas see red eh?

Aye... Aye

And in the battle of the legal asses for the post of pres of the Bee Ass Ess Ell one of the aspirants, a president's counsel no less was doling out patis and cutlets in little bags with a Coke thrown in as well. Never in the history of such an election has an aspirant tried a bit of lobbying to win the hot seat others were heard to grumble. Well given that a PC has now been reduced to a Poya Counsel what more can Paradise isle expect from these blots eh?  Just have a Coke and say Aye....