hyenas and parlour arsonists
was a time darling in days gone by when you happened to see red,
each time you were confronted with a copy of this rag. Now you see
red all the time. And our mighty red brigade keeps faithfully
glowing brilliantly in the noon day sun for the benefit of all.
last week the reds showed their true colours. And surprise
surprise they were all shades of red. We finally saw what they
really were. Red as an uncooked side o'beef darling. Redder than
red. Blood red if you like. Democracy forsooth. They have violence
on their minds and grime on their hands.
unsuspecting office buildings at 1 in the morning. I tell you.
Never mind that office buildings cannot suspect or not suspect
being mere brick and mortar. Those lamps and staplers they
destroyed belong to a beating human heart. JVP forsooth. Fie I say
to them, the diabolical hyenas. And also faugh and may I add, bah.
us see now. Democracy may allow you to own a gun but certainly not to
use it. These finer points of academic interest the JVP types cannot
fathom, being the sons of soil who have for years pretended to have
laboured under tonnes of toil.
when I heard that Wimal Weerawansa had been rather cavalier in his
attitude to social norms and habits by whipping out a gun and holding it
to the throbbing forehead of a legal bloke I could but help think. It is
not often that I set my mind to thinking mode unless well armed with a
stiff Martini and a Cuban Cigar, but on this occasion I made an
exception. Look, I'm as wary as the next guy when it comes to the black
coats. There may be many a honest gentleman who might want to hold a gun to an odd
lawyer's head or a lawyer's odd head - which ever comes first. Neither
can I deny that if a thirty-seater bus carrying 27 lawyers rolled down a
precipice there would be thousands of mourners looking down in despair
wishing the other three seats were occupied too.
Wimal W. goes too far. I mean to say darling as if it wasn't enough to
break into a chappies office at that ungodly hour and demand attention
in that vile way. But to then laugh in the face of democratic processes
by pulling out weapons and this and that. Before the poor legal eagle
had time to gasp coyly, flutter his eyelashes and inquire 'is that a gun
in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?' our Weerawansa whips it
out and slaps it on his head. The gun I mean.
are serious times indeed. Is this the man to lead our country? Yes and
again I say yes. A man who goes around with an unnatural bulge in his
pocket hiding dangerous weapons is the very man we need to spread
democracy and light. Not to mention pluralism, rule of law and that
other bally thing being bandied around these days. oh yes...humanitarian
this says the JVP is true democracy at work. Any man who spreads the
notion that he is free to walk into another man's office and vandalise
it is in deed a man who has the freedom of the individual close to his
heart. Pluralism? Hmmm. If Wimal W. and his henchmen are not rooting for
autonomous participation in the development of the country by all ethnic
and religious groups I don't know who is. Just take a dekko at their
manifesto and you'll see.
of law? Surely yes. After all the Wimal pimple did break and enter and
trespass and all that sort of thing together with the khaki types did he
not? And if galloping into a police station and rounding up a posse of
unwilling khaki suits well into their third bunnis gediya and nikkang
thai, is not telling the rule of law to work I don't know what is.
word of caution dear. If the crime allegedly committed by Wimal's
election opponent is printing propaganda, you and your alliance should
be surrounding the state media institutions first. If that isn't
election propaganda at public expense I don't know what is. We all know
your acclaimed editorial skills and your ability to make the media into
a lean, mean propaganda machine.
dearest. You may be a dreamer. I doubt it. But you may be. But let me
tell you something darling. Asking Wimal to embrace the contents of
democracy as opposed to merely the concept of democracy is like asking
the lion to lay down with the deer. Or Osama to have afternoon tea with
the Bushes. Not unless the tea is liberally laced with strychnine I
you my darling, acting true to form as always are shooting your mouth
off delightfully. I recall vividly the last election when you warned
ominously at a public meeting, "maruwoth maranawa." That was
two years ago. Last week, you accused
the Nuwara Eliya police of sitting on SB's lap or lap dancing or
something horribly unmentionable like that.
my dear, not that I have had time to measure it to a tee, but judging
from the small expanse of cloth I happen to catch a glimpse of on telly,
SB's lap can't be very big. To accommodate therefore, a large contingent
of kakhied personnel, heavily weighted down with medals, some no doubt
nicely endowed with vast
and spreading posteriors, would be a task rather too large for such a
small expanse of thigh. Thus, your argument breaks down even before it
can be debated in any real sense.
learn however, that the blue types stormed into a police station in
Beetroot country and vandalised it like a bunch of school boys during
lunch break at Raheemas. As usual though, your comments were uplifting
and educational. You have been a valuable teacher and mentor to the
underworld and kudukarayas of Sri Lanka for years. No doubt they hang
upon your lips or at least what falls from them.
sooner you learnt that your chaps had attacked the policemen
than you uttered a calming statesman like statement. "Gahala
Madi, gini thiyannai thibbai," were your golden words to the
nation. My dear I wonder if you have heard the phrase, you are known by
the company you keep? And I'm sure you have heard stories at your
mummy's knee about the JVP in the '70s. They burnt and pillaged and
destroyed police station after police station.
must be the company you keep darling, for, unless I'm very much mistaken
you have become a parlour arsonist. An advocate of arson. It's what I
always say. You deal with an ars....onist, and before you know it, you
become one too..eh eh eh.
oo for the nonce