25th  April, 2004  Volume 10, Issue 41

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NUTSHELL

The hack

Some of the greenhorns in the house by the diyawanna behaved in a more crude and crass manner than even the more seasoned em-pees. Screaming abuse and calling the sadhus every name under the sun, the loudest of the baying bunch was none other than sree-pathi who marked his maiden entry into the portals of the house that day.

The egoistic blot went a step further after giving a mega performance throwing insult after insult at the bhikkus. Determined to prove his worth he sashayed upto the wild asses and boasted with glee that in round two they had three votes confirmed and their man was sure to win. When the final count was done however the man sure looked more green in the face than blue. At least his bilious expression finally silenced his vile tongue. And it was then the turn of the greens to crow - Sadhu! Sadhu!

 

Cool customer

And batting clean was Captain Cool. Having cried foul at being bowled clean by Satellite, Captain Cool this time around was taking no chances. At the poll for Dew, the Captain having crossed his ballot made sure to display it to Maithree-Pala telling him to take a good hard look and make sure he saw that he had crossed in favour of the sandhanaya.

If not, Captain Cool maintained he would be blamed if the alliance lost. And having done his duty by big mama, Captain Cool retired to the rear benches to enjoy 40 winks. But before Captain Cool could say howzat! all hell broke loose and the sandhanaya types staged a performance that would have had won loud applause from the pathala lokaya types. As for Captain Cool, normally in the thick of a performance he was this time around only a spectator. He however failed to clap after round one of the third rate performance. Hmm.

In denial

A sandhanaya angel who got his wings into a twist last week was the Pulle from Katana. He was the first accused when the two monks went missing. Confronted by the blue-eyed monk of the Urumaya, the Ven. Dhammaloka, Katanapulle yelled he was innocent. He cried he had never set eyes on the rebel sadhu as he lived 25 km away from the chief dissident monk. And even after the urumaya had accepted Katanapulle's story the angel was not satisfied and called the asapuwa seven times in one day insisting till he was blue in the face that he was innocent. Well, St. Peter when confronted denied Christ only thrice so Ole Pulle has certainly scored!

 

Birthday blushes

And now its party time for the Alliance. Even before a government proper is in office the party lights are out and it is time to spill that wine.

Last Wednesday Mangy had cause for celebration. Not only is the git once more an angel but marked another notch in his birth calendar. And it was time to be gay and make merry. This time around Mangy had the official home of the chairman of the port to light up those party lights, blow out the candles and swing his hips to the tunes of Linkin Park. Happy birthday old boy! Happy birthday!

 

Horse trading

Clinging like a leech to his corporation job is Bookiepala who even from his hospital bed is not averse to lobbying those that can help the schmuck make those big bucks. Having first boasted that he could deliver the monks to the sandhanaya, his promise fell flat with the sadhus spinning the ballot for speaker in favour of the greens last week.

But the Bookie is not outdone. While all those who held corporation jobs resigned with the election of the sandhanaya to office, Bookiepala is determined not to let go.  And this time he sent word to the new deputy angel Row-hitter to come see him and talk about the ess ell tee.

But Row-hitter sent word back that he is not up for purchase and told Captain Cool about the Bookie's overtures. Well, well, this was one horse that sure let the Bookie down, eh?

 

Renegade

Remember that angry Tiger Col. Karuna? The latest on the grapevine is that the man is being debriefed by the hamudawa and may soon be leading those elite units of the LRRP into the Wanni thicket to smoke out all those who hail Ole Velu. So watch it Prabha, just watch it! Before you can say rata perata, Karuna may have you by the neck of your striped skin. Ouch!

 

Bone of contention

And talking about rata perata, the rathu sahodarayas bible and all that, the latest slogan on the block dogging the footsteps of the rathu sahodarayas is Rata perata Mahaweli harahata. And there lies the short and long of the sandhanaya. It yet remains to be seen how Wee Flower and his comrades can deliver without accepting first to be an angel and give power to the deflected wings. The man failed to tell the masses that their promises can only be delivered haraha the Mahaweli.

 

Tight pains

While all hell broke loose at the house by the diyawanna last week, a little bird whispers that Jeff the Mutt at the house by the lake is set to enjoy a free for all ogle. The blot has apparently told his fair companions to come to work wearing those '80s type pants that are oh so tight. And the gals are mad. Jeff may not know it yet but hell certainly hath no fury like a woman thus scorned!


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