NUTSHELL

Panic Stations

What with these whispers about pillow talk, homotex and all, Wee-flower's heart was going pit-a-pat. The rathu sahodaraya was none too pleased that those wild asses from the state have adopted a policy of publish and be damned all those alliances Rowf is supposed to have had with those of the fairer kind.

Wee-flower is terrified his dalliance with love and marriage will also soon be material for public tittle tattle as well, with the jilted hubby of his better half coming on national telly. After all what is sauce for the goose is also sauce for the gander, and it is exactly this that Wee-flower is all in a dither over. Hmm.

Confusion over consort

The juicy gossip revolving around the isle's chief judicial officer allegedly cuddling up to a lady friend down Diyawanna way is not only earning the silver-haired gentleman bad publicity, but the lady's kith and kin too are paying a price.

As confusion reigned, the lady bearing the same family name and sis-in-law is getting much flak. So much so that she herself has to be on a name clearing spree saying it is not Mrs S.one, but two, who is making headlines. She even called this rag saying as much. But we had to say we ain't gonna print no names dearie. Dear, dear certainly much water is to flow beneath this bridge before fences can be mended eh?

Party pooper

And as the debated antics of the Cee Jay and a lady had the media sitting on the edge of their seats and biting their nails, the boss of Tee En Ell could contain himself no longer. Telephoning malli and ex Pee-Em Ra-kneel he yelled "why won't you issue a damn statement fast?"

To which the usually calm and collected Ra-kneel for once portraying a show of irritation shot back, "look men, you look after your station and let me look after my party ok?" Ok..ok!  We all heard you!

Wrong number

Ra-kneel's official residence down Marcus Fernando Mawatha was in for a surprise as all phones went dead on Thursday eve. The opposition leader runs an office at his official abode and when the phones went dead, workers ran into a panic only to be told that the lines have been temporarily disconnected.

A scribe shot a call to one officer's mobile to check what was wrong with the land phones only to be told that temporary disconnections mattered not to a party in opposition - temporarily! And on that same note we were told that even the phone lines at the mount magistrate's court have been cut. Asked why, all and sundry are told the court is yet to cough up the required dough to the Cee Ee Bee. Now who is being  naughty eh?  The boot is for sure on the other foot this time!

Court jester

The Clown Prince never tires of acting the clown. At a recent opening do of the hotel deer, down Giritale way, the Clown Prince being tourism angel and all was to grace the occasion.

The ceremony was to begin at 7.15 p.m. but the Clown who had arrived earlier and was staying in the hotel itself never showed up even by 8 that evening. The hotel is placed on a hill with a downward slope which houses the entrance and it is here the VIP guests were gathered to welcome the chief guest. But no sooner did the Clown Prince see the slope and weigh the distance between the slope and the front door he ordered his limo to drive him straight to the door. And a rather droopy and dejected welcoming troupe were left to puff up the slope, flowers, pahana and all. A bit of diet-x pills and some pull and push at the gym will sure do the Clown Prince a world of good no?

But the Clown was not satisfied with that bit of bad show. He then proceeded to insult his host. Exclaiming at the physical proportions of his host he jested in his opening speech, "I thought todate I was the largest man in Sri Lanka but I can now see I come a second best," blah. blah. blah.. Oh dear! There has to be a jester in every court right? Where would we Lankans be if not? And the rude angel remained at the hotel until the following evening having occupied  five rooms no less for all his boys... Howzat!

Starry nights

Following in Satellite's infamous footsteps now is the chief of cabinet, Mahinder of the kurakkan malaya fame. When "Coy-le" had their anniversary celebs in style at the Jaic Hilton a fortnight ago, the first among equals and Amunu-gama of  finance fame were the chief guests.

But the Rohanaputra was missing and the show had to begin, as the young entrepreneurs were quite perturbed about the no-show situ. And in Mahin-der's absence, doing the honours was the ebullient Amunu, who is quite popular among the starry kind. At his entertaining best as the eve progressed, matters financial were forgotten with the ministering angel chatting up San-geetha and Sab-eetha, much to the envy of some present who mumbled that one's loss has certainly turned into another's gain.