NUTSHELL

Foot in mouth

Those Rathu Sahodarayas have sure got their sarongs in a twist. One of the angels, Anura Dissa who travelled as a vee eye pee to China had been given all the wrong signals. Under the impression the Chinese would be duly impressed with all that Marxist rhetoric, he had spouted forth that the Rathu Sahodarayas back home are all for home made stuff only and totally against all those expat investments.

One little Chinese was not impressed and bluntly asked the silly git what then was he doing in China if it was not foreign investment that he was seeking. Anura, a little bird whispers, was duly chided by party stalwarts upon his return and this time around when he accompanied the pee em to India the man had kate pittu. All he did was shake paws and grin as best he could keeping his trap shut most of the time. The angel was taking great pains not to tread on any toes or worse, put his foot in his mouth and be the laughing stock of those injuns!

The spokesman

But the pee em is also a smart cookie. Determined not to let Anura Dissa off the hook, he delegated him as government spokesman during their sojourn together in big brother India. And the Rathu Sahodaraya duly performed like a circus clown. No sooner were the questions put, the man could only parrot like sing aloud the praises of the pee em saying over and over, "Agamathithuma thama meka keruwe... araka keruwe."

And the pee em couldn't stop laughing all the way back to this ole isle. But wait! The pee em too was in for a shock. Making a polite call on Satty, the pee em was astounded when she refused to even discuss his visit, stoutly ignoring his successful tour. Dear... Dear, what can the matter be eh?

Clowning away

The Clown Prince was clowning away as usual last week down Diyawanna way, using parliamentary privilege to heap scorn on media personnel he loves to hate including the leading scribe of this rag. But the man who loves to critique and condemn others is absent than present at his ministerial office. There is little or no work being done at the department that is meant to lure the tourist kind to paradise isle, and promotional work, we hear, is confined to paper work alone. All this non-productivity by a man who loves to bellow that his predecessors did precious nothing.

And giving up comforts has never been his strong point either. Despite not being the most regular attendee, the absentee ministering angel is nevertheless having a costly lift set up to simply lift himself up from the ground to the first floor. A word of advice though, a little bit of muscle flexing and lifting those weights at a gym would do him a world of good, looks and health wise and would certainly prove beneficial to the country's exchequer!

Business..

Three monkeys sat on a coconut tree, discussing things as they are said to be. Said one to the others, "Now listen you two, there's a certain rumour that can't be true, that man descends from our noble race, the very idea, it's a dirty disgrace. No monkey ever deserted his wife, starved her baby and ruined her life.

"And you have never known a mother monk to leave her babies with others in order to do a bunk. And another thing you will never see a monk build a fence round a coconut tree and let the coconuts go waste, forbidding all other monks to taste.

"Here's another thing a monk won't do. Go out at night and get into a stew or use a gun or club or knife to take some monkey's life. Yes, man descends, but brother, he sure didn't descend from us." Ouch!