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Howzat!
Captain
Cool was livid last week. Buzzing cricket board Prez Mohan, the
Captain yelled how could you have sent that slimy schmuck Tee-langa
to mark his presence at the exco - aren't you ashamed? To
which the docile prez had replied "there was nothing I could do
men, the blot has his own stooges at the exco and wangled it. Why
not tell your Prez about it?"
And
Captain Cool did just that. Sitting down breathing fire and
brimstone he dashed of a fiery missive to Satty complaining bitterly
that a suspected criminal who literally supped with the devil is now
sitting pretty breaking bread with those white collared types at the
exco no less. Hmph!
Thrills
and spills
Remember
our nut on ole Mangy taking flight to gay Paris with that 18 year
old hunk? Well, the news raised many an eyebrow among Mangy's own
ministerial angels and some of them got on the line to the Leading
assess urging this rag to do a full expose on Mangy and his 18 year
old hunk.
But
we have opted to bow out - this itsy bitsy bit of news was worthy of
only a nut and certainly does not warrant space whatever the juice
maybe. If those angels want to settle any score with ole Mangy then
they will have to look elsewhere - we Leading rags are certainly not
going to oblige. No way boys - this one we shall do our way!
Wrong
number
When
Satty met with those teaching types and students she uttered many a
gem. But the cracker was when she asked those lesser mortals if they
knew how many countries there were in this rounded globe. A silence
greeted her query and none including Tara the fee-male of
educational fame was any the wiser when Satty quizzed her as well.
With
a triumphant grin and roundly reprimanding all those present Satty
announced - 196! Dear Oh dear! All this when the bally UN recognises
only 191 and it is 193 only if the Vatican and Taiwan are included.
One thing is for sure - this explains why Satty by her own admission
said she was a poor maths student and needed tuition! Silly girl!
Outcast
And
Satty's battle with Sri-pathee continues though Sri-pathee is in
denial attempting to portray matters are on the mend. But it is not
so - ole boy - ask us the Leading types!
At
that all important meeting of the advisory council that is national
Satty saw red when she spied sitting in the audience none other than
that irritating blot Sri-pathee. Later, she fumed to her sec asking
how that "pariah" came to be there and called for an
inquiry pronto. Well, Well what can we say to ole Sripathee - it
never rains but it pours ole boy eh?
Sniff! Sniff!
Dirty
tricks
Those
cops are certainly a dirty bunch. Ex police chief Indra on the eve
of him saying goodbye took a swing at senior cops he said are
corrupt and still within the force.
Indra
had earmarked for himself a spanking new double cab to take home as
is usual when the top cop bids his final goodbye. But lo and behold
hardly had Indra taken a swipe at those khakied blokes whose paws
his said are full of mud, the cab he had booked went missing minus
some vital parts.
And
now the bright new vehicle is kota uda! As for Indra? He has had to
kiss his ownership to the four wheel - Goodbye!
Lost
cause
This
is the latest joke on the bloc. Big bad boy Saddam sitting in a US
cell got down on his knees and began to pray. "Dear God, tell
me when will George Bush lose the presidential election and be sent
to the gallows by the American people?"
God
replied, "Not in your lifetime."
Saddam
loudly wept in despair.
God
was again petitioned. This time by Manmohan Singh the Indian
Premier. "Dear Lord," he said, "When will Musharaff
give up his call for Kashmir and help bring peace to the
region?"
Again
God replied, "Not in your lifetime."
Manmohan
could be heard wailing all across the Palk Straits.
Satellite
too got into the swing of it. Sitting down she prayed, "Dear
God, when will politicians stop lying to the people and how can I
kick the habit?"
This
time around God sat down and began to weep. "Why," Satty
asked God, "are you weeping?" Choking, he replied,
"Never ever in my life time!" Tch! Tch!
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