31st October,  2004  Volume 11, Issue 16

First with the news and free with its views                                     First with the news and free with its views                             First with the news and free with its views                                    


The outcast

Arumugam after proclaiming to offer unconditional support has however been angling to be named a cupboard angel. All this after the schmuck has sworn till black and blue to wild asses that a portfolio for him is not on the cards. Last week the silly git armed with a shopping list of demands sought a tete-a-tete with Satty. He made one request asking if he could come see her in the company of Mangy who had acted as kapuwa and brokered the party's crossover.

But Satty said "No." A little bird whispers Satty is none too pleased with the likes of Mangy after the silly blot has been vying for the company of Wee -Flower. Hmm. And here we masses were all thinking Mangy was Satty's blue-eyed boy. more like a black eyed pea now eh?.


A thousand apologies

Satty has not had a good week. She was livid after Wee-Flower was portrayed on the selacine calling her names and saying she did not have the guts to do this and that without the support of the rathu sahodarayas.

Wee-Flower was way over line when he said Satty spends many a night having nightmares that Ravi-Kay is ragging her about handbags and what not. And what pray was all that about bibikkan eh?

Satty was furious when she heard the diatribe. She has now called upon the general secretary of the sandhanaya to issue a warning to Wee-Flower that the only explanation she will accept for his unforgivable diatribe is nothing short of a public 'I am sorry.' Dear, Dear, Wee-flower for sure needs a lesson in mind your language by the good old Brown! Maybe mangy would happily oblige if not the clown prince.


Red Alert

And what with all this battling of words the rathu sahodarayas are also split. Some want to support ole Satty while others are all out to do battle. And at a recent chit chat of the gits, Non-plus the Gunatileke loudly voiced his discontent with Wee-flower.

His bone of contention was that Wee-flower seems to be two-stepping to the tune of Mangy and Satty forgetting in the process the principles bla... bla. bla. on which the peramuna was founded.

Wee-Flower blushed furiously at the jibe and jumping up shouted "tis all but a lie." He then yelled this is all a campaign on the part of the aliya types to tarnish his name and his glowing locks. "If you want me to attack her I will," he yelled. Well, well for sure we masses have now been earmarked to hear more bibikkan talk! Just go ahead and bat ole boy, we are all but willing in ole Paradise isle!


The museum

Those rathu sahodarayas are certainly getting carried away - flush with righteous will to implement a dahasak wew programme the angels are set to take flight. Instead of all that fire and brimstone the sahodarayas are now talking about establishing a museum all in the name of that father of all projects, Dee-Es the Sena Leader.

And the aliya types can't stop laughing. Soon, they say, the rathu sahodarayas will be ready to cross benches and side with the eksath jathika pakshaya.  Dear. dear!


Taxing times

And here's the latest about our Satty.

A little boy wanted 50 rupees very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the 50 bucks.

When Lanka's postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, Sri Lanka, they decided to forward it to the President.

The President was so amused, that she instructed her secretary to send the little boy a 50 rupee note.

The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the 20 bucks, and decided to write a thank you note to God, which read:

"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.

However, I noticed that you sent it through the Prez house and those idiots have deducted thirty bucks in taxes! And Satty for sure was not smiling when she read this note. Heh! Heh!


New Rag

What with elections for the hot seat due next year and Ma-hinder being the frontrunner for the Es-El-Ef-Pee nomination, the clown prince has decided to stake his own claim and is on the verge of launching a vernacular rag to push his case.

But it is the name of the rag that has Ma-hinder in fits of laughter. The name, Diva-Sara.

As one wag said, at least the diva part is quite appropriate given the clown's antics. Tch! Tch!

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