All creatures great and small...
God's other creations being blessed
By Ranee Mohamed
was their first time in church for all the cats, dogs,
rabbits, ponies, tortoises and turtles. So was it for the
squirrels and the other pets who had gathered at the Church of
St. Michael and All Angels, Polwatte Colombo 3 for this very
special service, held for the first time.
Father Dushantha Rodrigo and his divine counterparts Very Rev
Sydney Knight, Ven. Patrick Fernando and Rev. Patrick
Rajaratnam were conducting a long service, yet the animals
waited for the prayers to be over.
each time the hymns were sung, a 14 year old family dog stood
up. For she had come from a family that prayed together, and a
family that prays together stays together and so does their
"She does it at home too. Each time we pray, she stands up for
the hymns," her owners told friends. The cats inside the
baskets and the boxes too remained calm. It was their first
visit to church.
"They did not fight, they did not attack each other. They all
stood there, till the church service was over, waiting to be
blessed," said Father Dushantha Rodrigo. Dusk was almost
approaching as the fathers walked to each animal, blessing
these God's creatures with the love they deserve.
"This is a great tribute to all living creatures and we
decided to dedicate this in honour of St. Francis of
whose day is also World Animal Day. We do have to realise
that we are destroying the earth," pointed out Father Rodrigo
and said that they decided to have the service and the
blessing in the open air just so that they can be close to
A special blessing
Father Dushantha Rodrigo said that when they invited pets for
a special blessing on this day, they said it could be any pet.
"It was the children who showed much enthusiasm and they
brought many pets. The children took the first step and no one
had fears of how they were going to keep different kinds of
animals together in one place," said Father Rodrigo. "We went
right up to each animal and touched it and blessed it. We had
no fear that it would bite us, and none of them did. There was
calmness all around," pointed out Father Rodrigo.
went on to say that St. Francis thought of all creatures as
brothers and sisters. The closeness of this Saint to nature
was so intense that he called the sun 'brother sun' and the
moon 'sister moon' and the earth 'mother.' He did not want to
hurt anything, not a leaf on a tree nor pick a flower. "In
short he entered into a relationship with the created order,"
said Father Rodrigo.
to the hymn Of All Things Bright And Beautiful, the blessings
of all of God's creatures loved and cared for by one section
of our society were blessed for the first time in their lives.
Sagarica Rajakarunanayake, an animal rights activist who has a
hawk eye for cruelty to animals countrywide who was also
present at this church service said that it was an amazing and
a wonderful experience. "This is the first time that the
Christian Church, in particular the St. Michael's Church in
Polwatte, Colombo 3 has made a wonderful gesture in asking the
congregation to bring their pets to be blessed and we hope
that this is a sign of the Christian Church getting closer and
more involved in the campaigns in the country for the
prevention of cruelty to animals which they have so far
allowed to pass by without any comment or involvement as an
institution," said Sagarica Rajakarunanayake. She however did
not fail to mention the love, compassion and care that many
church goers show animals.
Rajakarunanayake who has been fighting for the cause of our
dumb, innocent animals said that extreme commercialism is
destroying a lot of humanity in our people. "They do not mind
exploiting animals in the most ruthless manner. One example is
the exploiting of imported and pedigreed dogs. Some people
have got hold of these animals for breeding purposes and are
keeping them in the most cruel conditions. They practice
inbreeding causing the pups to be deformed. Some of these pups
are deaf and blind, yet others are born without limbs or with
parts of limbs. This is because there is breeding between
'brothers' and 'sisters,'" pointed out Rajakarunanayake and
went on to say that however cruel, immoral and unfair this may
seem there is no one to step in and take remedial action to
save these animals.
a time when hundreds of animals are suffering on the streets
without love and care, this church service brings about a
newer thinking about God's other creations. With the rising
cost of living today when man is immersed in profit making and
acquiring wealth and money seems to take precedence over
feelings, sympathy and thoughtfulness towards animals is
Cruelty to animals is on the rise. As modernisation and
commercialisation continue to take over our lives, we seem to
have less time and lesser thoughts for God's creatures. Thus
few of us would have the time or the consciousness to give a
meal to an animal or spare a thought about the life it leads
and the suffering that brings it howling grief day and night.
There are hundreds of animals everywhere who have given
birth, yet have not a morsel of food to eat; and no one seems
to have time for them or to think of their sad lives. There
are abandoned young animals everywhere - innocent and lost
they hide in street corners crying for their mothers till some
vehicle mows them down. Hungry and traumatised, they meet with
the most gruesome deaths. Yet we have no time to think of
their plight - their hunger, misery, sadness and agonising
Thus a church service for animals, who were blessed along with
their owners throws a new light on animals everywhere. And it
is this love, this compassion and understanding that the
animals everywhere are begging for from human beings.
They are not asking for money, gold or new clothes - all they
want is a little food, a little love and just a little
kindness. And we will not be any poorer if we give these
little things, for they are gestures that can come only from
Survival of the fittest
With the prices of all essential items skyrocketing,
soon malnourishment would be the order of the day
By Nicola Perera
This city can conquer you, or you can conquer it. Most
individuals have a plan with a capital P to make a fortune. It
is always an idea, which perhaps had begun vague, nebulous and
undefined as we try to make a living in these difficult times.
stark truth can be identified in three important ways. Money
talks in the most persuasive voice. Put cold hard cash down on
a table and few people could resist picking it up; payment in
advance is another irresistible temptation and the more
advance you pay, the stronger you are.
Finally, opportunity has to be seized firmly the instant it
presents itself, because it does not come knocking on the same
door twice. Money is the root of all evil, however, without
it, we are reduced to endless struggles and are forced to hope
appalling rise in the cost of living is putting a heavy strain
on the people. It seems in Sri Lanka, it has become a
perpetual habit to increase prices throughout the year.
Whether people can manage to scrape through and what they have
to forego and endure is not taken into consideration.
Look at the sky
upper class (wealthy) most often do not feel the twinge nor
see the dark cloud of gloom descending on the middle class and
poor people. The latter is hit the hardest and unless everyone
is earning over Rs. 35,000 per month, in the months to come,
they will be compelled to look at the sky and wait for manna
Essentials like milk powder, coffee, flour and eggs have shot
up in price, causing disdain amongst the already struggling
people. A normal loaf of bread is now Rs.35, and with the
price increase in flour, hoppers, string-hoppers, pittu etc.,
have all shot up in price.
are people to ward of the nagging feeling that their purse
would run dry just by having their meals? Gas has already been
increased twice, and before one can say Jack Robinson! one of
these days, there will be another hike. How are the people
supposed to manage? Especially since a gas cylinder does not
last like it used to? Meat items and vegetables are no
add to the woes, petrol is forever going up in price causing
people to stop travelling. Children's items have also been
conveniently increased, Anchor Milk, which is consumed by so
many children, is now Rs.208. How on earth are parents
supposed to provide for their children at this rate? The
middle class and poor have to sacrifice a lot to ensure their
children get some nourishment and hopefully a future.
All talk no action
value of money has deteriorated to an unimaginable level. A
thousand rupees can be compared to a hundred these days. Buy a
few vegetables and a little meat or fish and the thousand is
gone. So much for the Chinthanaya! It never seems to provide
any consolation, all talk but no action.
is the population that makes a country; it is their taxes and
output that enables a land to survive. It is up to the
government to decide whether Sri Lanka should prosper in all
aspects as a united nation and where everyone can equally
benefit and look towards a bright future. The million-dollar
question is when will the economy stop draining the blood of
the middle class and poor people?
What happens when they cannot afford anything? To add to their
misery, the monthly bills are also conveniently increased
throughout the year. The month's hard earnings are gone when
essential provisions are purchased and bills paid!
the government living in another planet? This has nothing to
do with politics but it has everything to do with humanity and
understanding the needs of the people. Talking is easy for
anyone but finding concrete solutions for the very survival of
the people is what is required.
this continues, robberies will increase, as the poor have to
find ways of surviving. This could be prevented only if the
budget provides immediate relief. If the cost of living
remains what it is the children will be deprived of a future
and without them there is no future for all of us.
Frugal and prudent living is the order of the day but for how
long? If this economy is not remedied fast deprivation will
set in and we all know what that can lead to if the last two
insurrections are anything to go by.
Where have all the sparrows gone?
The chirpy House Sparrows
By Shezna Shums
sighting of a House Sparrow is considered a good sign but
today this pretty bird is rarely seen.
House Sparrow or Gaykurulla population is believed to be
diminishing in many parts of the country.
Unlike in the past when these birds made themselves guests in
a new home they are seldom seen today in homes, old or new.
According to ornothologists from various parts of the country
these sparrows seem to be dwindling in number.
However House Sparrows can be seen in town centres and atop
buildings but are not seen in residential areas noted an
Interestingly the sparrow is missed so much that now many
households have even made artificial nests to attract them to
Chirpy friends dissuaded
House Sparrow is in fact not threatened by people but the
problem arises when owners start cleaning their homes and in
the process destroy their nests. Thus these 'chirpy friends'
are indirectly dissuaded from returning to their former
Environmentalists urge that this bird should be considered as
a protected species.
House Sparrows are not endemic to Sri Lanka and are present in
many other countries although they are said to be diminishing
in the Indian continent.
Olde World family
House Sparrow (Passer domesticus) is a member of the Olde
World sparrow family Passeridae and is present in many parts
This 14 to 16 centimeter long bird is abundant in temperate
climates but not universally common and is scarce in hilly
They usually flock in cities, towns and villages.
Double call note
sparrow's most common call is a short and incessant chirp.
also has a double call note - phillip - which was how the now
obsolete name Phillip Sparrow originated. While the young are
in their nests the older birds utter a long 'churr.'
They nest in various sites - under eaves, in holes on rooftops
or in walls or rocks, in creepers and even in bushes.
another bird that environmentalists want protected is the
Striated Weaver also known as the Wadu Kurulla.
There are two such species of this bird - one, the Baya Weaver
makes its nest in a very intricate way.
Striated Weaver is now considered a protected species.
Baya Weaver's intricate nests are collected by pet shop owners
and sold as a delicacy, or sold to collectors.
Striated Weaver makes its home in reed beds or among tall
grass but this bird does not harm agriculture or crops.
Nest among reeds
Striated Weaver population is dwindling more due to the
destruction of reed beds causing concern among
environmentalists who urge the authorities to declare them as
a protected species.
nest of the Striated Weaver is like a goblet and is usually
found among the tall grass and is the main reason why this
particular species of bird is confined to areas where they can
build their nests.
Range of birds
Lanka can boast of around 427 residential birds and over 200
There are many popular bird watching sites around the island,
and Colombo and its environs have locations such as the area
around the Beira Lake, and in Bellanwila and Kotte.
The rare Albino deer is no more
The 'one of a kind' albino deer posing
for a picture
By Risidra Mendis
was only two months old when she was brought to the National
Zoological Gardens (NZG), Dehiwela, on September 8. She was a
rare attraction as she happened to be an Albino deer. But
despite the love and care given to her by her keepers and zoo
officials, the deer died on October 4.
World Animal Day was celebrated on October 4. But
coincidentally this rare Albino deer died on the very same day
that animal rights activists around the world joined hands to
fight for the rights of animals.
This Albino deer was abandoned in the Kaudulla National Park
by its herd and found by villagers who handed the baby deer to
the park warden at the Kaudulla National Park.
Speaking to The Sunday Leader Education and Research
Assistant, Menaka Pathirage said the Acting Director, NZG
requested permission from the wildlife director to bring the
Albino deer to the zoo.
October 3 the deer started coughing and two injections were
given by the veterinary surgeons. But these injections could
not save this rare animal. The autopsy report indicated that
the animal died due to pneumonia," Pathirage said.
Albino deer is very rare and only one animal is produced from
a hundred thousand of them. "Two recessive genes have to come
together for an Albino deer to be produced. Albinos cannot
stay in the sun for too long, are prone to diseases and don't
live as long as other animals. An Albino deer cannot be
produced unless there is a male or female Albino deer,"
Villagers claim to have seen more Albino deer at the Kaudulla
National Park making this park the first national park to have
this rare breed.
However environmentalists claim the albino deer died due to
neglect by zoo officials. Acting NZG Director, Herath
Dissanayake was not available for comment. The Sunday Leader
learns that Dissanayake was assaulted by zoo officials a few
days ago and was hospitalised.
Research shows parents
play a big role
What causes offspring to misbehave?
recent spotlight on the violent behaviour of a minister's son
triggers the thought as to why some youth are more aggressive
than others. Certain people might argue that it is natural for
a high profile person with powers to act in this way but what
are the scientific reasons for violence in youth?
Vast research has been done on this topic and I wish to
highlight certain facts relevant in our social setting.
study done in Sweden has shown in humans and non human
primates such as monkeys that aggressive, violent behaviour
can be stimulated by prolonged stress in the immediate
environment. (Lang S, of Klinteberg B, Alm P-O. Adult
psychopathy and violent behaviour in males with early neglect
and abuse Acta Psy- chiatr Scared 2002:106 (Suppl. 412):
Early childhood victimisation including aggressive parents,
the father being an alcoholic/showing anti-social behaviour
and environmental stress had a clear connection with a
condition called psychopathy, a personality disorder.
Psychopaths are characterised by using charm, intimidation and
violence to control others, and to satisfy their needs. In the
US alone psychopaths make up 15-20% of prison inmates.
Research on violence over the television and in films, video
games and music reveals unequivocal evidence that media
violence increases the likelihood of aggressive and violent
behaviour in both immediate and long-term contexts. ( The
influence of media violence on youth, Craig A. Anderson,
Leonard Berkowitz, Edward Donnerstein, Rowell Huesmann, Jantes
D. Johnson, Daniel Linz,Neil M. Malamuth,and Ellen Wartella).
Short-term exposure increases the likelihood of physically and
verbally aggressive behaviour, aggressive thoughts and
aggressive emotions. Recent large-scale longitudinal studies
provide evidence linking frequent exposure to violent media in
childhood with aggression later in life including physical
assaults and spouse abuse.
Research done in Canada (Intergenerational studies of
parenting and the transfer of risk from parent to child, Lisa
Serbin, Centre for Research in Human Development, Concordia
University and Jennifer Karp) showed that parental
involvement, warmth and nurturing during childhood appear to
have important protective effects on later family formation
Also educational achievement appeared to be a powerful buffer
against problematic parenting. Childhood aggression and
antisocial behaviour also seem to lead to problematic
parenting, adolescent risk-taking behaviour, low educational
and occupational attainment, maternal smoking, substance abuse
conclusion arrived at is violence in youth can be avoided by
correct parenting and a peaceful environment which are sadly
lacking in certain so called high profile families.
- Dr. Himantha Atukorale Radawana -
Cecile's brilliance sparkles
The designer that put Sri Lanka on the
map of the jewellery world: Sicille P.C. Kotelawala
wearing her own creation, the Sri Lanka pendent
By Ranee Mohamed
designing brilliance of Sicille P. C. Kotelawala,
emitted rays of pride, glamour and beauty at an upmarket
fashion show held at the Tanglin Club in Singapore recently.
Tanglin Club's Churchill Room was a sparkle of activity as the
Ceylinco sponsored event dazzled the guests, among them
ambassadors, top ranking officials and jewellers from all over
Blue Diamonds Limited, Blue Diamond Jewellery Worldwide and
Ceylinco Coloured Stones sparkled into the spotlight with the
Deputy Chairperson of Ceylinco Consolidated, Sicille P. C.
Kotelawala's own designer creations - the Papillion Ring
Collection, the Sri Lanka Pendant and the Pink Topaz `Special
Cut' of 200 facets. An amazing facet comes to light when Blue
Diamonds Jewellery proved their ability to cut even a five
pointer diamond to the 200 facet cut.
1250 Caret Pink Topaz necklace designed by Sicille P. C.
Kotelawala is for the woman with passion. The hearts and
arrows cut on diamonds appear as a very exciting concept
especially for Valentines Day. This is a unique feature of
Blue Diamond Jewellery. Set in fine gold, based on the
traditional eternity necklace design called Liya Vela
(eternity chain held together) with the pink topaz, it stands
out creating drama that it so richly deserves.
have been promoting Sri Lanka, promoting our craftsmanship and
promoting what Sri Lanka is truly capable of," said Deputy
Chairperson, Ceylinco Consolidated, Sicille Kotelawala.
sparkling Singapore fashion show consisting of several leading
models wearing these designer jewellery as accessories drew
light to the jewellery itself.
Blue Diamond Jewellery Worldwide Limited is the company that
produces the floating diamond jewellery under the
international brand called Fior Drissage. This is a
technically advanced setting which sets diamonds in a
component without any prongs or claws.
Creating history in jewellery designs is Sicille Kotelawala's
creations, precious Australian Opals and the 'Fior Drissage' -
a unique creation that is enjoying unique popularity
Blue Diamonds Jewellery Worldwide Limited has taken a positive
step forward by giving diamonds which may normally consist of
57 windows a new fire brilliance with their 200 facet cut,
giving a brilliance from 200 windows.
now comes the newest glitter from Cecile International
Jewellery Salon. Like period furniture Cecile Jewellery Salon
will soon bring to Sri Lanka and to the world, period
jewellery. "They will be an exact replica of the period
antique jewellery and will come with a description of the
jewellery and their origin," said Sicille Kotelawala, the
designer behind these great creations. Reasonably priced, yet
created in a way that one is hardly able to tell the
difference, period, antique jewellery will undoubtedly add
another new brilliance to the establishment, to the craftsmen
and to the designers themselves.
Sicille Kotelawala undoubtedly inherits her designing talents
from her mother whose unique creations in jewellery is said to
have dazzled royalty at Buckingham Palace, when the mother and
daughter duo were presented to the Queen in 1961. Agnes Stella
Fernando, mother of Sicille Kotelawala who hails from Matara
had been wearing a big pendant made of Seven Matara Diamond
hairpins with a rosette in the centre and Matara Diamond
eardrops, all designed by herself. To the words of admiration
of her jewellery by Lord Louis Mountbatten, she had modestly
quipped "Nothing like the crown jewels...."
daughter Sicille Kotelawala's jewellery today has been on
display in China and Korea too. The exhibition of an exotic
piece of jewellery, the Sri Lanka pendent - an opal and
diamond pendant in the shape of Sri Lanka personally created
by her coincided with President Mahinda Rajapakse's state
visit to China for the celebration of 50 years of diplomatic
relations between Sri Lanka and China. It was the first time
that this exotic piece of jewellery was revealed to the world
- a rare combination of a magnificent opal and the world
famous carbonlokd diamonds.
designing this pendent, particular attention has been paid to
detail with the design drawn to scale to bring out an absolute
masterpiece. The beautiful multi- coloured Australian opal was
gifted to Sicille P. C. Kotelawala by Suzanne White from the
famous opal mine in Australia.
South Korea too, when Minister Keheliya Rambukwella and young
Namal Rajapakse along with Asitha Perera launched the
Tharunayata Hetak programme to increase job opportunities for
Sri Lankans in Korea, the jewellery once again displayed
became the dazzler. The Ceylinco sponsored trip also aimed to
improve the living conditions and increase job opportunities
among the Sri Lankan labour force in South Korea.
these events dazzled with the exceptional brilliance of
Cecile's jewellery. For the displayed gems and jewellery not
only drew light but added a sparkle to all these events.
scence & heard
Isankya receives award for unique achievement
Isankya Kodithuwakku who won the 2007 State Literary Award for
the Best Short Story Collection for her book The Banana Tree
Crisis, published in English in 2006, received her award from
President, Mahinda Rajapakse at a function held in New York
where Isankya is reading for her Masters in Fine Arts at the
addition to the State Literary Award, Isankya also won the
prestigious Gratiaen Award earlier this year for the Best
English Publication in Sri Lanka for 2006. Winning both awards
for the same book is rare and unique.
Isankya is the second daughter of Dr. Karunasena Kodituwakku,
former minister of education and cultural affairs and
Sri Lanka America Society AGM
53rd Annual General Meeting of the Sri Lanka America Society
was held recently at Jefferson House, the official residence
of US Ambassador Robert O. Blake. Prakash Mirchandani
presided. The following office bearers and committee were
President: Christel Perera
Vice-presidents: Cynthia Carron, Mansoor Ghouse
Hony. Secretary: N.L.C. de Silva
Treasurer: Sam Fernando
Executive Committee: Kalyani Ranasinghe, Jennifer Ingleton,
Yvonne D'Rosairo, Gamini de Silva, Linda Perera, Nirmala
Ragunathan, Dr. Kavan Ranatunga, Anne Nathaniel
Advisory Committee: Rajah Perera, Tita Nathanielsz, Dianne
Wijewardena, Dio Wijewardena, Ramani Imbuldeniya, Jehan de
Saram, R. Ragunathan
vote of thanks was proposed by Rajah Perera before which
Honarary Life Membership was conferred on Tita Nathanielsz, a
former president. Nathanielsz who counts 40 years of
membership, in response, thanked the soceity for the signal
honour conferred on him. He also expressed special thanks to
Charmaine Karunaratne and Kalyani Ranasinghe who he said
helped him immensely whenever he organised any special event.
AILD seeks 'help to achieve'
Association for Individuals with Learning Differences (AILD),
the managing body of the school Achievers launched their
school building project "Help Achieve" on September 25.
AILD was incorporated on July 8, 1996 as a non- profit company
by a concerned group of parents with children who had
difficulties in fitting into a normal classroom environment.
Complaints from the schools were inattentiveness, disruptive
behaviour, difficulty to stay on a task, and difficulty in
copying from the blackboard despite having perfect eyesight.
They are also comparatively slow in writing, reading,
comprehension, mathematics and other subjects. Parents were
sent from pillar to post, from family physicians to
specialists to find out what their chaild is "suffering"
Research established that these learning and behavioural
aberrations were not entirely due to medical reasons but were
also the result of other factors such as environment, home
conditions, social issues etc.
AILD organised awareness programmes to introduce terminologies
such as Dyslexia, Specific Learning Disabilities, Attention
Deficit Disorders (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactive
Disorder (ADHD). As the speakers explained the different types
of disabilities, parents understood what held their children
back from performing like other children.
Children's Heart Project receives contribution
from Gateway's charity walk
Children's Heart Project of Sri Lanka received a hand some
contribution of Rs. 1 million from the charity walk held by
Gateway College Colombo last July, which was part of the
culmination of the school's 10th anniversary celebrations.
Harsha Alles, director of the Gateway Group said: "We did not
want to merely focus on fun in celebrating our 10th
anniversary. Rather, we wished to teach our children that they
are responsible for their less fortunate brothers and sisters,
in our endeavour to help create a society with lasting values
in Sri Lanka. One and all at Gateway College are extremely
happy that our hearts reached out to make other little hearts
beat with hope."
.Vijith Kannangara, director, Children's Heart Project of Sri
Lanka who enlightened the Gateway School community about this
long-felt need, said that the problem of children with
congenital heart disease in Sri Lanka is severe and
heart-rending. One in 400 children in Sri Lanka is diagnosed
with a potentially deadly congenital heart defect. The state
can cope with only around 600 operations annually. Therefore
at any given time, there are over 1,000 children waiting for a
life-saving operation and because of the large numbers the
wait for an operation is about two years. Many children do not
survive the wait.
"This is a magnanimous gesture by children for children," says
Dr. P. N. Thenabadu, chairman, Children's Heart Project of Sri
Lanka. "The funds will go towards enhancing paediatric cardiac
facilities in Sri Lanka that will help save a lot of young
lives. We are greatly indebted to the management, staff,
students, parents and alumni of Gateway College and say a
heartfelt 'thank you' to them."
Consul General Jeff at sacred event
Jeff Goonewardene, Consul General for Sri Lanka in Colombia
and Venezuela was invited to bear the sacred Dhathu Karanduwa
by the Chief Priest of the Kotte Raja Maha Viharaya during the
perahera recently. Picture shows Consul General Goonewardene
after having placed the Dhathu Karanduwa on the majestic
tusker. The Chief Priest and well wishers are also with him.
A second look at look alikes
Yesterday I attended a family wedding and was placed once
again at the same table as my double, my look-alike friend.
She told me she wants to make a distinction between the two of
us, so she has started growing her hair! I know, it can be
quite irritating explaining you most definitely weren't at a
certain place yesterday when people keep saying, "But I saw
you!" Lets hope things will get better.
People keep walking up to me and having these long
conversations, and all the while I'm frantically wracking my
brains as to their identity. They sound and look as if they
know me very well, so I also play along, mumbling responses.
Sometimes I discover they have mistaken me for her. When I
inform them of their mistake, they gaze at me aghast, "But you
look just like her, no?"
Once at a party, someone wanted to know why I was serving
myself twice! Yes, I know, you can't blame them since I have
quite a healthy appetite, but of course, it was just that she
had served herself just before I did! Another time someone
told her that her sister from Australia(??) was sitting all
alone and why doesn't she ask me to join them?
Then, another school friend gave me a good couple of smacks
and asked me why I didn't enlighten her during her long
conversation with me thinking I was she. I said since we were
all in the same school and I knew everybody she was referring
to, I assumed she was genuinely talking to me!
There is a limit to one's patience, you know. When someone is
trying to insist that you were at a dance yesterday without
Caveman but with someone else, then you just feel like totally
The last straw
last straw was when I had reserved this gorgeous hot pink
handbag for my daughter, together with another two. The sales
lady looked at me and said, "But madam, you came in the
morning and bought them, no?" I asked her whether she thought
I was crazy to come and try and get something that I already
had. She called the other assistants agitatedly and asked them
whether or not I hadn't come and bought the bags that morning.
I saw the light.
explained that there was a lady who looked a lot like I did,
and that I was sure she was the culprit! By the way, I
confirmed this yesterday, since she told me she had bought
these handbags from this shop. Then she said that they were
trying to tell her she was giving them the wrong telephone
number and rattling off what she was sure was mine!
Anyway, she got the best pick that also included the exciting
and enticing hot pink number. I had to make do with the
leftovers, unless I was willing to wait till the end of the
month for the new stock to come in. Humph!
Unique in my way
suppose the positive side of this is that I could pretend to
be she and do all sorts of daring things. But then again, she
would know it was I, wouldn't she? Also, I'd have to grow my
hair and there is no way I can do that! It looks absolutely
ghastly long. A wig? Hm! On further thought, she would tell
the cops about me and I would be caught out.
But one does get a certain thrill imagining what you could do
if you can get away with it. Robbing a bank? And giving it to
the poor, of course! What do you take me for? I also would
like to throw several no holds barred tantrums and rantings at
certain people. Imagine, blandly denying I ever did or said
such things. The thought alone is tantalising. Or I could dye
my hair dark blue and go around as if I were her.
Even though there might be people who look exactly like me
walking this earth, I like to think I am unique in my own way.
I think my family will vouch for that! Not in a very
complimentary manner, you can be sure! Various quirks and
imperfections will be highlighted and exaggerated and they
will kill themselves laughing whilst pin pointing them. Never
mind, let them laugh, everyone is entitled to their opinion,
aren't they? So even though my double is a very nice person,
there's no one like me, baby. Not even close!
- Honky Tonk Woman.
High premium on resurrection
FOUR insurance companies are in competition.One comes up with
the slogan: "Coverage from the cradle to the grave."The second
one tries to improve on that with: "Coverage from the womb to
the tomb."Not to be outdone, the third one comes up with:
"From the sperm to the worm."The fourth insurance company
really thought hard and almost gave up the race, but finally
came up with: "From erection to resurrection."
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of
George: I mean the fellow's name.
George: The guy in China.
George: The new leader of China.
George: The main man in China!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new
leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he's dead
in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader
of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass
of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy
at the U.N.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the