When patriots go marching in
right don't laugh now. But who said this and
"The JVP is a party which is
committed to protect our motherland. They
have always proved their genuine desire to
protect the sovereignty and territorial
integrity of our country. Their decision to
abstain from voting would enable the
government to continue its drive to
Right, so who said it?
Mahinda Rajapakse? Basil Rajapakse? Gotabaya
Rajapakse? Chamal Rajapakse? Karu Jayasuriya?
Mahinda Wijesekera? Rajitha "dathbeheth"
Senaratne? Dominic Chilcott? Keheliya
Rambukwella? Wijedasa Rajapakshe? Lakshman
Hulugalle? Pirapaharan? Colonel Karuna?
Ranil Wickremesinghe? Mangala Samaraweera?
Come on make a guess? You are
not going to lose your annual bonus, which
anyway will be lost even before you could
count it given the great economic boom this
country is seeing under the Chinthanaya.
Even the tax men will not be
able to get their hands on it, only because
they already have their hands full of the
VAT billions, thanks to the convoluted cover
up that is going on.
They won't be able to lay
their hands on this year's bonus because it
will all end up in the grocery shops and
vegetable boutiques. The months and months
of high inflation the likes of which this
country has not seen in a couple of decades
at least if not in living memory, would have
seen to all that.
One can quite understand your
reluctance to place a wager on who it was
who uttered these famous words which should
surely go down with some of the memorable
sayings of George W. Bush and our own
Udurawana if all those stories floating
around even recently about the man from
Kandy, are true.
Okay, so you won't bet even
your Christmas stocking on it. I quite
understand why. So instead of keeping you
readers on the edge of your seat and biting
your nails to the bone, here is the answer.
Load of rubbish
It is that government-run
newspaper called The Sunday Observer which
said this in an editorial headlined "Victory
for patriotic forces."
If you believe this rubbish
you'll believe anything, even Santa Claus
stocking up your stockings with goodies from
a reindeer-drawn sledge or that Mervyn Silva
qualified for a doctorate from an
Is this the same JVP that in
1971 launched an armed insurrection against
the then newly elected government of the
present governing party? Those too young to
remember or were not born at the time might
be hoodwinked into thinking that the JVP is
a 'great patriotic party' just because it
abstained from voting at the third reading
of the budget a few days ago.
If it was so very patriotic
why did it not vote for the budget and be
done with it instead of looking the other
way when it came to the vote? What kind of
cardboard patriots are these that did not
have the guts to vote for this government?
That was the question being
discussed one day last week when I walked
into Paradise Club, our favourite watering
hole down Duplication Road functioning
nicely under the overlordship of Siribiris.
Thank heaven there are no
Mala Keli Silvas and other assorted
hooligans to disrupt and corrupt the orderly
working Paradise Club where only the decent
meet though some rather indecent types might
mistakenly enter that place.
"I say chaps. How the hell
can they call the JVP patriotic? Aren't
these the fellows who killed policemen and
our ill-prepared soldiers way back in 1971?"
asked Kelly Kankendiri of a Californian
think-tank in Colombo working on a thesis on
youth unrest and violence.
"Not only in 1971. JVPers
also killed policemen, soldiers and public
figures in those three terrible years from
1987. If this was the work of patriots, no
wonder somebody said that patriotism is the
last refuge of scoundrels," added Pandu
Pusvedilla of the Notorious Peace Committee.
"Exactement, if you don't
mind my resorting to the French," said Puli
Pachch-athanni, the poet laureate of
"The JVP which called
themselves Marxists and looked to the
communist nations outside for inspiration
suddenly did a somersault and turned
nationalist, actually ultra-nationalist
because of the presence of Indian troops in
our north. If the stupid JVP had not
agitated and sown anarchy in the country,
the Indians would have ultimately dealt with
the LTTE and we would not have had this
problem. I should know for I was in Jaffna
during those years."
"If the JVP had allowed the
Indians to battle the LTTE, eventually India
with its superior forces would have
prevailed; the JVP would not have to keep on
shouting today about terrorism and egging
the government to continue this war.
Such is its 'patriotism' that
the JVP during two periods of sheer anarchy
and mayhem not only killed many in our
security forces but are now screaming for
war so that others can kill our soldiers
"I think you chaps are being
unusually hard on the JVP. They are patriots
indeed," intervened Dr. Ananda (Andy to the
foreign NGOs) Ansabage coming to the defence
of those that some call the Rathu
"Don't you chaps worry. Very
soon the JVP will be marching to the
frontlines, to the forward defence lines as
these defence- types call them, and
challenging the LTTE to come and fight them.
Just imagine this scenario, Somawansa
Amarasinghe and Velupillai Pirapaharan in
hand to hand combat. If they can find two
elephants then it would be a re-enactment of
the Dutugemunu-Elara battle. What a glorious
tale to tell your grand children.
"How the leader of the
patriotic Sinhala adventurists who led two
failed insurrections did battle to slay the
terrorist leader. How the mighty lion
prevailed over the sly tiger. How the leader
of one terrorist group that killed our
soldiers defeated another terrorist leader
who also kills our soldiers. What a story."
"Maybe those young
journalistic pups who run the Sunday
Observer, should read what their own
newspaper said in the late 1980s about the
JVP, how it called them killers and
anarchists. At least those were the less
abusive words by that newspaper then," said
Kesara Kasalagoda, Royal College and SSC.
"But today is today and
Pandangkumara's boys have changed their tune
because now they dance to the Chinthana
band," argued Andy.
"Then Andy, could you tell us
something," asked Kandiah (call me Ken)
Vinasapathi, a veteran of the former Civil
Service. "If the JVP is now called patriots
by the "Voice of Government" why did the JVP
vote against the budget at the second
reading? And why did the patriotic JVP
abstain at the third reading? Weren't those
unpatriotic things to do, not supporting the
"Never question the
dialectical tactics of Marxists turned
nationalists," Dr. Andy Ansabage argued.
"Never question JVP leaders
who run away to the safety of England
perhaps believing in that old saying that
those who fight and run away live to fight
another day," added poet Puli Pachchathanni.
"Why, who ran away to old
Blighty?" asked Mabel Manasgathe.
"Why Maby baby, didn't you
know? It is Soma the weeraya, the JVP
leader," said Hamid "Fast Cash" Mansoor,
Colombo's casinopathi bursting into
"Lets drink to all our
patriots. May they and their kind prosper
even more in this coming year and may they
fill our hearts with sadness and their
pockets with 20 per cent commissions," said
Ravi Rate Veda as they all broke into song
to the tune of When The Saints Go Marching