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Thelma

 


Huniyang Raja on a roll

Darling Ma-hinder

My ganglions are still vibrating from the alarming news dear that you are messing about again with poisoned entrails, eye of newt, toe of frog and the feather of a crow stoned at midnight. I mean to say, you may not have actually donned a long black cape and danced round a cauldron of simmering rat tail soup chanting some demonic incantation such as say..Double double toil and trouble, Fire burn and cauldron bubble, but you might just as well have done so.

News reaching my flapping ears is all agog about you burying seven goats in the backyard of the temple abode and systematically doing unspeakable things on an impressive scale when the full moon is out. Not that I believe any of this darling but hey, Thellie likes a little entertainment of a morning.

Ergo, considering there is absolutely no government in place and the economy and what not is all running on its own and out of steam, it would seem that you have taken up this passion of yours not so much as a hobby, side line or a recreational activity at the weekend but on a full time basis.

I say, given the number of tragic deaths and the misery perpetrated on the public weal darling, particularly in the new year, it appears to be somewhat of a new year resolution of yours to stir the pot regularly. What is it they say now...24/7. Yes 24/7 you probably emulate the deliberate moves of those three Scottish witches in Macbeth Act 4, scene 1 verse 10-11 or..was it Act 1 Scene 4 verse 11-12, and there you have it. Enemies falling on to one side, acquaintances scrambling on to another side and path crossers made your foot stools etcetera etcetera etcetera.

The other poor souls that kicked the bucket recently I can understand dearie but what you might have had against that poor old scientist of Space Odyssey fame, the inspirational chap behind the World Wide Web is difficult for Thellie to comprehend. Why cast a spell on the poor chap? Did your paths cross? Hardly. Arthur is more into chemistry while you are more into Alchemy. He is inclined towards astronomy while you are steeped in  astrology and surely  Arthur  is engaged in science while you dear  are into...well...Signs..and so the differences go on. Why take him down?

Of course the bloke could have popped off due to old age but Thellie likes to speculate. Stap my vitals! What else is there to do of an evening in these dreary gangrenous times. And I mean gangrenous darling. Pervasive decay and corruption is what I mean. You know. A slow local death of soft tissues, due to a loss of life giving blood. In a word. Rot. I may even go so far as to say bally rot.      

I can tell you dear as blokes with a dissenting voice walk listlessly by, I am pained to observe that even a night's rest has effected no improvement in the unhappy wrecks' countenance. Wracked by a fearsome foreboding that they will be the next victim of some particular brand of voodoo there they go looking rather moth eaten.

If you can visualize a pit bull terrier that had just been kicked in the hind quarters and limping over to the doggie bowl to eat away his sorrows finds his dinner sneaked by the house cat, well that is the look on everybody's faces these days. It may be hard to notice as you whiz past inside your curtained bullet proof limousine but there you have it.

And what with spells being cast to pile up toil and trouble until they double thus yielding twice the toil and double the trouble for those fellows you don't quite take a fancy to, no wonder Paradise is losing itself once again. And alas, no Milton to document it in blank verse either -only Thelma.who may do it in prose and then in cons but mostly in bed. 

And while the victims of these huniyang are going about looking pretty blue about the rims if not actually making their last journey to fulfill the mission of pushing daisies or.. chrysanthemums if you prefer, others are going about dashing 20 coconuts here and smashing 300 aricanuts there to ward off the evil and create what is known as a blow back.

This whole huniyang business may seem awfully impressive to the casual bystander but it has its downside. Not least of which is this bally blow back business. It's a political term darling and simply put means that what goes around has a nasty habit of coming around. It's sort of like throwing pepper corns or roasted chillie powder out of a car window while traveling at a great speed. As sure as anything the bally chillie will be in your eye faster than you can say Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Pepper. Mind you Peter would have to pick a helluva lot of pepper from your cornea.

So your soothsayers and sorcerors may gird up their loins and do their worst but I may as well pass on a bit of bad news darling given that you are my best pal. Last Sabbath there I was sitting in my customary pew at church and the curate was to look down his spectacles at me like a Scottish elder rebuking his errant flock. 'The day of reckoning will come' he thundered, and Thellie who was just about nodding off to sleep got a nasty jerk. 

And I will tell you darling once the bally charm cutting now being undertaken by the victims also on an impressive scale takes effect, the perpetrators of these so called huniyang and what not will most likely be prancing around in chaos much like a barefoot dancer who had just stepped on a tin tack.

I'm not speaking about you of course darling. More strength to your stirring arm.

Ta ra for now


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