This article is about endangered plant and animal species in Sri Lanka and what
you can do to help them.

Endangered species are animals, plants and other living organisms that are threatened by man-made or natural changes in the environment.

In Sri Lanka there is a leopard called kotiya. This leopard is Sri Lanka’s top predator. Its habitat can be nearly all over Sri Lanka. It eats only meat and there are very few of them left.

If the leopard becomes extinct then the species that it preys on such as the spotted axis deer, barking deer, wild boar and sambhur will grow in numbers. For example, as the deer grows in number, it needs more food from existing habitats. If all of them eat up what is available then soon there will be nothing left to eat. As a result these animals will die and the animals that eat them will also die.

The leopards are threatened with extinction due to poaching and habitat loss.

We can stop destroying their habitats and warn people that they are not allowed to hunt them. Also we shouldn’t buy leopard skin because it encourages poachers to kill more leopards.

There are about 1200 species of Denrobium in the world. One of the endangered plant species in Sri Lanka is the Dendrobium maccarthiae. The orchid is found in the lowland rainforests in and around Sinharaja Forest.

It is endangered mainly because of habitat destruction and over exploitation. Habitat destruction in this case is where the homes of plants and animals are taken over by humans and used for building or farming. Exploitation means making money from selling the plants.

If the Dendrobium maccarthiae becomes extinct, probably some pollinating insects may die and the food chain will be affected.

We should prevent people moving into the jungle and cutting down trees and clearing the forest in areas where the Dendrobium maccarthiae thrives. If the forest really has to be used by people, then this beautiful orchid should be carefully moved to a place where it can live safely. Also we should tell people to stop buying endangered species of orchids to put in their vases.

Flies have become a menace. As much of a menace as the village idiot who insists on dumping his/her garbage on the side of the common road, sending his/her kitchen waste water down my wall, chopping his/her bally fire wood in the middle of the common road and raising their sons on kudu and kassippu.

My family bought land away from Colombo to surround ourselves with paddy fields and breath the freshness of the air. Little did we know that the paddy fields would be illegally filled  by unscrupulous relatives of corrupt politicians and that the villager would turn out to be the devil incarnate.

So you see. Flies. Flies in the soup, bally flies in the garbage, flies in the vegetables and if you say flied lice you don’t have to be Chinese anymore. On Saturday I decided we’ve endured four years of flies and enough was jolly well enough.

So there I was at the supermarket with my five hundred rupees trying to make ends meet and all, when I came across a battery operated fly zapper. Three hundred rupees. Considering the inflation I thought it wasn’t bad. It was made in China but what the hell.

I did recall that millions of toys had been returned to China by Mattel due to unsafe lead content but hey, it’s the flies who’d get the lead in this case. So in went the zapper into my shopping cart together with the two plantains and four eggs.

But I wasn’t satisfied. I was planning a two if not three pronged approach to the problem so I prowled along the aisles and then I saw it. A fly catching glue stick.

Actually four glue sticks and a tin base with four holes to hold the sticks. All you need to do is position the glue sticks on the base by dropping the non sticky side into the holes and leave the thing to do its work.

A picture showed hundreds of flies with their eyes popping out sticking on to the four red glue sticks while a little girl watched triumphantly. And yes, You’ve guessed it. Made in China too. ‘Throw away after all flies are caught’ the instructions added.

A-ha  I thought. My eyes brightening gleefully. Just the thing as a back up plan. So armed with this anti fly equipment I went off home feeling very much like the Lanka Logistics Company big wigs immediately after a successful meeting with the Pakistani and Chinese Defence authorities.

I put my arms and ammunition to work straight away. Like a badminton pro – for the zapper looked exactly like a mini badminton/squash/or tennis racquet — I flayed the zapper to and fro amidst a thousand flies. Nothing happened. I pressed the buttons and lights flashed menacingly and in the melee one fly died because I squashed it with my flying foot.

It is hard to work against the evil forces that buy sub standard Chinese goods and foist them on the unsuspecting public at three hundred rupees.

But what about my back up plan. I looked at my four red glue sticks and set them up placing them near Rupert’s bowl of fish  – obviously a fly haven. Immediately one fly stuck. I felt vindicated for some reason. I don’t like all this killing flies business but I’m compelled to these drastic measures by the actions of the village idiots who live next door.  They and their bally garbage throwing and their wood cutting.

Two hours went by and there were three flies stuck on to four pretty large red gooey sticks. And boy were they sticky. And there for a space the matter rested.

Blood curdling scream

I was ambling down the stairs next morning when my left ear was ravaged by a blood curdling scream.

I rushed outside to inquire from whence this screaming emanated and there our cook Kanthi was, holding her heaving chest and muttering ‘haamu, haamu,’ while gesturing wildly at the balcony. ‘Rupert kalabalayen eka paattama diwwa, monawada rathu deyak patalila thibuna, bayawela wage’ she panted, and my mind immediately went berserk. Could it be a snake I shuddered, for ever since Eve’s experience with the fellow in Eden she’s had an aversion for the kind.

And then it hit me. Rupert had got entangled in the four red glue sticks and had been frightened out of her wits. I called many times but she was too scared to respond. Next morning after much coaxing she appeared. One red glue stick stuck firmly on her left nostril. Two red glue sticks entangled inextricably into her large bushy tail.

The last red glue stick stuck on her spine horizontally like a spirit level. She was terrified, the poor thing. For those red glue sticks were as sticky as anything. No amount of pulling could part cat from stick as the red things stuck lovingly to Rupert. I had to cut them off her.

Chee Chee was bombarded at the En-Shee Shee and simply to satisfy Mulchiri and Faza the Dole he agreed to recant some of his other anecdotes. So here goes; Chee Chee bought a new mobile. He sent a message to everyone from his phone book and said "My Mobile No. Has Changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610."

Chee Chee: "I am a proud father, coz my son is in Medical College." Faza the Dole: "Really, what is he studying?" Chee Chee: "No he is not studying, they are studying him." Interviewer: "How does an electric motor run?" Chee Chee: "Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr....." Interviewer shouts: "Stop it." Chee Chee: "Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup..."

Chee Chee: "Doctor Peru, in my dreams, I play football every night." Doctor Peru: "Take this tablet, you will be ok." Chee Chee: "Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game."

Chee Chee: "If I die will you remarry?" Wife: "No! I’ll stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry?" Chee Chee: "No, I’ll also stay with your sister." Chee Chee: "People consider me as a god." "How do you know?" Chee Chee: "When I went to the park today, everybody said, Oh god! You have come again.."

Chee Chee complained to police: "Sir all items are missing except the TV in my house." Police: "How come the thief did not take the TV?" Chee Chee: "I was watching the news..."

Chee Chee comes back to his car and finds a note saying "Parking fine." He writes a note and sticks it to the pole: "Thanks for compliment."

How do you recognise Chee Chee in school? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Once Chee Chee was walking he had a glove on one hand but not the other. So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on the one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

Chee Chee is in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"

Chee Chee bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Kandy where he lived, to Colombo to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours.

After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn’t get back in the evening. Not even the next day. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him "What happened, my son?" Chee Chee got out, obviously very tired from the long journey, and said, "These Maruti car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!"

Chee Chee: "Why are all these people running?" Man: "This is a race, the winner will get the cup." Chee Chee: "If only the winner will get the cup, why are the others running?" Teacher: "I killed a person — convert this sentence into future tense." Chee Chee: "The future tense is — you will go to jail."

Chee Chee told his servant: "Go and water the plants." Servant: "It’s already raining." Chee Chee: "So what? Take an umbrella and go."

Mulchiri asked Chee Chee why Ratnasiri Wickramanayake goes walking in the evening at En Shee Shee and not in the morning. Chee Chee replied "Ratnasiri is PM no?"

Ta ra and see ya next week.