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Review

 


Are elephants happy at peraheras ?


Elephants in musth should not
be used in perahera

 

More Review Articles...

Prayers for a little girl who has disappeared without a trace

The many mysteries of the durian fruit

Holidays are for learning too
Ricky Martin becomes father of twin boys

 

Fashion


HUMOUR


By Risidra Mendis

Can you imagine a perahera without an elephant?  This is a thought that constantly crosses our minds especially with the fast dwindling elephant population in the country. The main attraction at the annual Kandy Esela Perahera is the majestic tusker, draped in a colourful costume decorated with beads and sequins, carrying the tooth relic.

Illuminated with colourful bulbs and decorations the tooth relic (karanduwa) is carefully placed on the back of the tusker owned by the Dalada Maligawa prior to the commencement of the Esela Perahera. The excitement at a perahera doesn't die down even after the tusker carrying the tooth relic has gone as there is a procession of elephants that follow. From historical times Sri Lanka has used elephants in all peraheras thereby indicating the importance of elephants.

The importance of an elephant is so great, that even a temple's prestige is measured by the number of elephants it owns. However from recent times owning an elephant due to the prestige factor and using the animal for hard labour and for peraheras has become the norm to many tame elephant owners. The cruelty imposed on these majestic animals is ignored by elephant owners and their mahouts.

The highlight

For visitors who travel to Kandy to see the Esela Perahera or for those who stop by the roadside to see a small perahera organised by the village temple passing by, the thrill is to watch and admire the elephants swaying their trunks and walking in the procession. But behind this colourful pageant there is another side to the story.

The tuskers and elephants are at times in musth but are forced by their mahouts to take part in the perahera, resulting in cases where elephants run amok and injure or kill those around.

Speaking to The Sunday Leader naturalist Kamal Edirisinghe said when an elephant is in musth it should not be taken in a perahera.

"During the beginning and towards the end of the musth period these animals should be kept away from humans. However elephant owners don't think about the welfare of the animal. They are only interested in earning some money by sending these animals in peraheras," Kamal said.    

Naturalist and former President, Young Zoologists Association, Shantha Jayaweera said a shortage of veterinary surgeons in the country and the lack of interest by elephant owners to treat their animals well, have resulted in an increase in cruelty to these animals.

Prestige purposes

"Most elephant owners want to have an elephant for prestige and not because they are genuine animal lovers. The sole intention of these elephant owners is to have an elephant and get the maximum use out of their animals," Jayaweera said.

He added that in the past when elephants participated in peraheras a generator was used to supply the power for the colourful lights draped on the animals' body and for the tooth relic. "However from recent times instead of a generator a battery is used to get the power supply. This battery is fitted on the elephant. The fact that the elephant has to carry an additional weight and may feel uncomfortable is ignored by elephant owners and organisers of these peraheras," Kamal explained.   

Recalling past incidents where elephants ran amok during peraheras Kamal said he remembered an incident where an elephant had trampled some pieces of hot charcoal on the road and had got violent. That animal was shot because he went out of control.

Irritations

Another incident was reported a long time ago where an elephant got agitated and turned violent because the costume he was wearing had prevented him from urinating. A recent incident of an elephant getting violent in a perahera was also reported.

Kamal added that at least two to three veterinary surgeons should be on duty during the perahera season to tranquilise elephants if they get violent.

"Elephant owners claim that the number of tame elephants is decreasing in the country and express the need to get more elephants. These elephant owners are only interested in getting more elephants so they can use them for hard labour and earn some extra money when not used in peraheras.

"The best solution to this problem would be to train the elephants at the Pinnawela Elephant orphanage to take part in peraheras. The orphanage can earn some extra money and the elephants can be taken back to the orphanage once the perahera is over," Kamal said.

  


Prayers for a little girl who has disappeared without a trace


Senthamani - agonising times

By Ranee Mohamed

As the mother of two and a half year old Kiruba sits at the entrance to the chapel wailing and refusing food since Monday, the neighbourhood too remains awake with heavy hearts looking to and fro for a sign for this little girl who hated to be away from her mother and her brothers even for one minute.

"She wanted to see me as she woke up, she would never sleep without me because she was always frightened," said the mother who says she is alone without her youngest 'baby.'

As mothers in Badulla hold close their little children, the otherwise cool Badulla is burning with fear and the fire that only a mother will know.

"Kiruba ill ailing, she is weak and she hates to be left alone," cries Senthamani, a mother of four who has undergone immense hardship to bring up her children. The family had sought refuge in the Pentecostal Chapel in Badulla after Velu Sivanandan and his wife Senthamani began to work there. The family who lived amidst hardship found shelter in this house of God and along with this shelter came food and a better life.

Torn asunder

But their peaceful life together as a family was torn asunder when Senthamani found that little Kiruba who was playing with her five year old brother had been taken away by two men.

"We will never forget the agonising screams of this mother when she discovered that her little daughter had been taken away," said onlookers in a home for children close to the area.

According to the five year old who had been in tears, two men clad in sarong had come towards the playing children and taken away little Kiruba who had screamed and began to wail in fear. They have reportedly told the five year brother that they will bring back his little sister. But as the Badulla Police, the people of Badulla and the parents of little Kiruba continue to search for this little girl everywhere, the abductors seem to have left no trace.

Meanwhile their mother recalled the arrival of two men in sarong who had come to the chapel. When they had been questioned about the reason for their arrival at the chapel, they had said that they had wanted to speak to the pastor.

Meanwhile two men who had come to the church to 'paint the chapel' have been taken into custody on suspicion.

Investigations

"We are continuing with our investigations," said Asoka Wijeratne, HQI of the Badulla Police Station.

Kiruba is the youngest in a family of three girls and a boy. Having experienced complications during her pregnancy, Senthamani said that Kiruba was born prematurely and had been an underweight child who had been on medication. She expressed anguish at the thought of little Kiruba at the hands of these strange men.

"We have not stopped praying and we will continue to pray," said Senthamani.

Meanwhile it is learnt that on the night before the disappearance the family had heard sounds and footsteps outside the chapel premises but did not open the doors to go out and find out.

The pastor of the chapel and the sisters, it is learnt had not been at the chapel at that time because they had left to Valachchenai to attend a religious function. The pastor on his return had been alarmed at the loss and sadness of this poor couple.

Meanwhile Police Spokesperson SSP Ranjith Gunasekera in Colombo said that Police Headquarters had instructed the Badulla Police to take urgent action in the disappearance of little Kiruba. "Two police teams have been deployed and over 25 people have been questioned," said SSP Gunasekera and went on to say that police investigations will continue till Kiruba is found.

  


The many mysteries of the durian fruit

Durians sold on the pavements, espe-cially down Have-lock Road, along with other seasonal fruits are a common sight.  

But unlike other fruits which are relished by most the durian tends to repel many people, attracting only a handful of durian lovers. Anyone who loves the fruit will tell you that its 'elusive taste' - between an ambul banana and an avacado - is an unmistakable delicacy.

The durian is the fruit of trees of the genus Durio belonging to the Malvaceae, a large family which includes hibiscus, okra, cotton, mallows and linden trees. Widely known and revered in Southeast Asia as the 'King of Fruits' it is distinctive for its large size, unique odour, and a formidable thorn-covered husk. Its name comes from the Malay word duri (thorn) together with Malay suffix that is -an (for building a noun in Malay), meaning "thorny fruit."

There are 30 recognised Durio species, all native to Southeast Asia. At least nine produce edible fruit.

The fruit can grow up to 30 cm (12 in) long and 15 cm (6 in) in diameter, and typically weighs one to three kg (2 to 7 lbs). Its shape ranges from oblong to round, the colour of its husk - green to brown and its flesh pale-yellow to red, depending on the species. The hard outer husk is covered with sharp, prickly thorns, while the edible custard-like flesh within emits the strong, distinctive odour. The taste of the flesh has been described as nutty and sweet.

Species

Durian trees are relatively large, growing up to 25-50metres (80-165 ft) in height, depending on the species. The leaves are evergreen, opposite, elliptic to oblong and 10-18cm (4-7 in) long. The flowers are produced in three to 30 clusters together on large branches and the trunk, each flower having a calyx (sepals) and 5 (rarely 4 or 6) petals. Durian trees have one or two flowering and fruiting periods each year, although the timing of these vary. A typical durian tree can bear fruit after four or five years.

The durian fruit which can hang from any branch, matures in about three months after pollination. Durian flowers are large and feathery with copious nectar, and give off a heavy, sour and buttery odour. These features are typical of flowers which are pollinated by certain species of bats while they eat nectar and pollen.

According to a research conducted in Malaysia during the 1970s, durians were pollinated almost exclusively by cave fruit bats (Eonycteris spelaea). However, a more recent research done in 1996 indicated that two species, D. grandiflorus and D. oblongus, were pollinated by spider hunters (Nectariniidae) and that the other species, D. kutejensis, was pollinated by giant, honey bees and birds as well as bats.

Availability

The durian is native to Indonesia, Malaysia and Brunei. There is some debate as to whether the durian is native to the Philippines, or has been introduced. Durian is grown in areas with a similar climate; it is strictly tropical and stops growing when mean daily temperatures drop below 22C (71F).

Flavour and odour

Writing in 1856, British naturalist Alfred Russel Wallace provides a much-quoted description of the flavour of the durian.

He cautions that "the smell of the ripe fruit is certainly at first disagreeable." Travel and food writer Richard Sterling says:

"The unusual odour has prompted many people to search for an accurate description. Durians from different species or clones can have significantly different aromas; for example, red durian (D. dulcis) has a deep caramel flavour with a turpentine odour, while red-fleshed durian (D. graveolens) emits a fragrance of roasted almonds. The degree of ripeness has a great effect on the flavour as well. Three scientific analyses of the composition of durian aroma - from 1972, 1980, and 1995 - each found a different mix of volatile compounds, including esters, ketones and many different organosulfur compounds, with no agreement on which may be primarily responsible for the distinctive odour.

This strong odour can be detected half a mile away by animals, thus luring them. The fruit is extremely appetising to a variety of animals - squirrels to deer, pigs, orangutan, elephants, and even carnivorous tigers. While some animals eat the fruit and dispose of the seed under the parent plant, others swallow the seed with the fruit and then transport it some distance before excreting it. The thorny armoured covering of the fruit may have evolved because it discourages smaller animals since larger animals are more likely to transport the seeds far from the parent tree.

Ripeness and selection

According to Larousse Gastronomique, the durian fruit is ready to eat when its husk begins to crack. Some species grow so tall, they can only be collected once they have fallen to the ground, whereas most cultivars of D. zibethinus (such as Mon Thong) are nearly always cut from the tree and allowed to ripen while waiting to be sold.

A durian that falls off the tree continues to ripen for two to four days, which after five or six days  would be overripe and unpalatable. The usual advice for a durian consumer choosing a whole fruit is to examine the quality of the stem or stalk which loses moisture as it ages: a big, solid stem is a sign of freshness.

History

The durian has been known and consumed in Southeastern Asia since prehistoric times, but has only been known to the Western world for about 600 years. The earliest known European reference on the durian is the record of Nicolo Conti who travelled to Southeastern Asia in the 15th Century. Garcia de Orta described durians in Colquios dos Simples e Drogas da India published in 1563.

In 1741, Herbarium Amboi- nense by the German botanist Georg Eberhard Rumphius was published, providing the most detailed and accurate account of durians for over a century. The genus Durio has a complex taxonomy that has seen the subtraction and addition of many species since it was created by Rumphius. During the early stages of its taxonomical study, there was some confusion between durian and  soursop (Annona muricata) as both of these species had thorny green fruit. Interestingly the Malay name for the soursop is durian Belanda, meaning Dutch durian. In the 18th century, Weinmann considered the durian to belong to Castaneae as its fruit was similar to the horse chestnut.

Culinary

D. zibethinus was introduced into Ceylon by the Portuguese in the 16th century and was reintroduced many times later.

The fruit is used to flavour Malay candy, ice kachang, dodol, rose biscuits, and, with a touch of modern innovation, ice cream, milkshakes, mooncakes, yule logs and cappuccino.

In Thailand, blocks of durian paste are sold in the markets, though much of the paste is adulterated with pumpkin. Unripe durians may be cooked as vegetable, except in the Philippines, where all uses are sweet rather than savoury. Malaysians make both sugared and salted preserves from durian. The durian seeds, which are the size of chestnuts, can be eaten whether they are boiled, roasted or fried in coconut oil, with a texture that is similar to taro or yam, but stickier.

In Java, the seeds are sliced thin and cooked with sugar as a confectionery. Uncooked durian seeds are toxic due to cyclopropene fatty acids and should not be ingested. Young leaves and shoots of the durian are occasionally cooked as greens. Sometimes the ash of the burned rind is added to special cakes. The petals of durian flowers are eaten in the Batak provinces of Indonesia, while in the Moluccas islands the husk of the durian fruit is used as fuel to smoke fish.

Nutritional and medicinal

Durian fruit contains a high amount of sugar, vitamin C, potassium, and the serotoninergic amino acid tryptophan, and is a good source of carbohydrates, proteins, and fats.

Durian customs

Southeast Asian folk beliefs, as well as traditional Chinese medicine consider the fruit to have warming properties liable to cause excessive sweating.  An alternative method is to eat durian in accompaniment with mangosteen that is considered to have cooling properties. People with HBP or pregnant women are  advised not to consume it.

Another common local belief is that the durian is harmful when eaten along with coffee or alcoholic beverages. The latter belief can be traced back at least to 18th century when Rumphius declared that one should not drink alcohol after eating durians as it will cause indigestion and bad breath.

  


Holidays are for learning too


A handicraft lesson in progress

By Shezna Shums

School holidays are still on and most chil-dren are at home with nothing much to do during this school break.

Although there is no school it does not mean that children should forget school work completely.

Educationists explained that children should regularly revise their school work to be familiar with it when they go back to school after the holidays.

Children should take time during the holidays to relax and also use this time to rejuvenate their minds and physical well-being.

Even small children who maybe attending play school or a montessori, should also use school holidays to freshen up their minds.

This is not something that can be done successfully at home, which is why now many schools for small children offer holiday classes.

Special classes

These holiday classes consist of relatively light activities such as painting, dancing or English elocution where children can get away from home for a while and be with their friends as well as learn something.

These holiday classes according to teachers help children immensely as it keeps them occupied during the holidays and improves their well-being.

Also when there are long school holidays and small children are at home all the time, it can be frustrating and boredom can kick in, so when these classes are organised these children have something to look forward to and be joyful.

While at home it is advised that the parents provide stimulating activities to children - for instance children can be supervised and asked to paint. This will keep them occupied for a few hours and provides plenty of entertainment for both the kids and parents.

Encourage reading

Other activities that can be done at home for a few hours a day is to read stories to children, and once small children become familiar with story books and the colourful stories it will encourage them to take to reading when they are older.

Reading is extremely important for both young and older people as this habit improves memory, keeps the mind alive and can also be entertaining for hours and can be done at any place and at any time.

Outdoor sports activities are also highly recommended - a walk along the beach can be very entertaining to young children who read many stories about the beach in their classrooms. They can also play around in the sand and enjoy the waves.

The sea breeze will also be a refreshing change for the children as against being cooped up in their homes during the holidays.

Hobbies

Not only should parents encourage their children to take to more hobbies and vocations during the holidays but their school work too should be revised to help the child cope better when he or she returns to school.

Every few days children who are at home should take their school books and start revising. This should be done for only a short time every few days, assisted by a parent or an elder.

And to also improve the capabilities of small children parents should start reading and giving writing exercises to them.

Older children on the other hand do not necessarily need to be supervised but it is advised that they too revise their school work occasionally during the holidays.

However when it come to students who are returning to school for examinations such as the O/Levels then they should studiously revise their work everyday.

Even though such students maybe preparing for an exam, extra-curricular activities and taking to hobbies should be continued.

The older children would do well to take to reading instead of watching TV or videos as it would hold them in good stead later on in life. Painting, craft-work or sewing are also good activities to indulge in.

Outdoor activities

Holidays are also a good time to encourage outdoor sports activities such as visiting the school for swimming classes or going for a run.

Some schools or even private teachers conduct music classes specifically designed for children during the holidays. This is a good way to spend time during the holidays.

Also there are institutions offering foreign language classes for children who are free during their school holidays.

Taking up the challenge of learning a new language is another good way of keeping the mind active.

By learning a new language during holidays children will have plenty of time to revise and be thorough with what they have learnt.

Handicraft

 If the older children are also interested in classes such as sewing, learning handicraft making, interior design or any other subject, holiday time is the best time to get started on such a venture as it affords the time to sit back and reflect on what has been learnt as opposed to school days when everything is rushed through due to the scarcity of time.

  


Ricky Martin becomes father of twin boys

Latin pop singer Ricky Martin has become a father, after enlisting the help of a surrogate mother who has given birth to twin boys recently, according to news reports.

The babies were born several weeks ago says  a statement from Martin's representatives.

"The children, delivered via gestational surrogacy, are healthy and already under Ricky's full-time care," said the statement.

Martin will take time out from his schedule to look after the infants, it said.

"Ricky is elated to begin this new chapter in his life as a parent and will be spending the remainder of the year out of the public spotlight in order to spend time with his children."

A representative said there was no further information on the details of the children's birth.

Martin, 36, is a multiplatinum singer who is best known for English-language hits like She Bangs, Shake Your Bon Bon and Livin' la Vida Loca.

In recent years, the Puerto Rican star has been active in charitable efforts, including the prevention of sexual exploitation of children.

Earlier this year, the singer travelled to Cambodia to bring light to the issue of human trafficking.

Martin rose to fame as an actor on American network ABC's General Hospital, but later turned his talents to singing.

 


Paradoxical problems

Almost everyday now, I get reminded in some strange, small way or another that it still isn't a world safe for women - let's make that 'for most people' actually. Most people aren't as safe as they assume they are in this world.

In a bar, talking with two other women, the issue of feminism came up. Someone brought up the fact that there were some people insisting that words like "history" should be changed to "herstory" so that it would not be gender biased.

And then we started talking about how stupid that would be because: (a) it would not solve the problem of unfair gender bias because "herstory" would promote a gender bias but with the female gender instead and (b) the reason it is termed 'history' has nothing to do with gender but rather with the language it was derived from and it's mere coincidence that the words 'his' and 'history' have similarities in spelling.

Gender equality

Feminism was supposed to be about raising women to that of an equal political and social status with men - where both genders would be equal and not where one gender overtook another. What happened to it? What happened to the brains of the people involved? Why are they fighting over words when they should be fighting for the chance to fix the problems still around? If I am fighting for the same goal of equality but am focusing on the problems will I also have to fight fellow feminists who want to waste their energy on semantics?

On the street, talking to a friend, the random mention of a personal issue came up. "How did you get over it? Because I still haven't gotten over what happened to me," she asked me. "You accept that you didn't get yourself into the situation and that it wasn't your fault," I replied.

It is still a world though where other people keep telling us what we should do and think so much so that some of us don't even trust ourselves to do anything and every tiny thing we do or say or choose becomes loaded with guilt. And then we spend our energy worrying about the guilt and wondering why everything makes us feel so horrible.

On the phone, discussing the future. "I can't do this - I won't have enough money afterwards if I do." It is a world facing another global recession/depression soon where there are huge numbers of people who will be unprepared for it not because they didn't know it was going to happen (because they did) but because there is nothing they can do to prepare for it. When you have nothing to lose financially, you lose other things and you have not much hope of gaining anything financially. For a huge number of people, the world will not be a financially safe place very soon.

Generalise

Discussing pets and related problems elicited an unexpected reaction: "Such and such a 'race/nationality' do 'this.'" Unexpected because of the person involved in the discussion. And I sat there wondering what the hell to say in response. It was a generalisation and I have friends of that particular nationality who I felt obliged to defend. I get this sort of thing no matter where I go and though I usually attempt to say something to put people straight, I never know if it is the right thing to do or not.

And most of the time that is because it feels risky to attempt to set the record straight and it also makes you feel extremely vulnerable and threatened to be around someone who makes blanket statements or generalisations like that.

You feel you can't trust them to not make a harmful generalisation about you and then use it to justify an action towards you. You feel like someone could walk upto them and tell them anything potentially harmful and they just might believe it.

Socially, emotionally, financially, everywhere I look, people I know are not safe. Everyday there are things that batter them. Everyday there are more and more people that I see slipping through cracks in the systems set up by governments and societies to address these very problems.

The thing is all this would be a lot easier to accept as being part of the current state of the world that we live in except for one thing. We are constantly told the opposite.

As children we are told what the world is like. As we get older we find out that it is very different and that there are all these different things to be afraid and wary of. We are even taught to be wary of one another because the next person just might take something you say the wrong way; so don't say anything all.

And then we are told that the government is promising to fix that and this. There is always a lot of talk about how women are equal now, how kids cannot be harmed, how we must save the planet and everyone believes in that, and that no one would go to war with someone else because of a difference in skin colour/religion/culture/nationality because that would be a very stupid thing to do since we are all much more enlightened now than we were in the Dark Ages.

If you rolled your eyes reading that last sentence, the thing is no one really believed that there was going to be another war in the Middle East till it actually happened. Just like no one believed Germany would invade Poland in 1939 and start World War II - "Can't happen - they haven't recovered from World War I yet!"

'Switched off'

The thing is that if everyone shut up for a minute and actually acknowledged that (a) quite a lot of people think a lot of scary things about other people and hold a lot of scary opinions and that (b) this can often lead to a lot of problematic situations and (c) that yes, we have developed or evolved very far but we still have all these ideas of how we should live and we also still have all these problems.

It just seems that most people live now in some state of "switched off." People need to acknowledge that there is a huge discrepancy between what they want the world to be, what they think it is and what it actually is like. And then they need to figure out whether they are going to tell their kids about the truth of the world no matter how ugly or emotionally scarring it is or if they are going to actually try and fix things so that we move towards that ideal world that everyone seems to be advertising all the time.

Because otherwise we are all going to continue sitting here desperately trying to figure out why what we are experiencing of the world isn't matching up with what everyone taught us and still tells us to expect. And we need to come to terms with that discrepancy before dealing with the actual problem in question.     

And I really don't understand how anyone can live in this world and still believe that we are living a utopian, dreamlike existence. Or if they know it is not at all a utopia, how they justify spreading that dream to others but not the reality. How even though they know the world isn't what it should be, they don't attempt to change that fact at all.

Maybe they like living in that paradox. Quite possibly they are on drugs.

- Marisa Wikramanayake

 


Rising to a dessert challenge

So, I'm after a very nice, iced coffee with a generous scoop of vanilla ice cream to help my eyelids remain open. It doesn't seem to be working very well, I'm yawning at sporadic intervals. The coffee was imbibed at a friend's birthday party. Lots of robed priests attended, and one of them in civilian clothing played the piano and we all sang lustily.

In my case I didn't know all the words and joined in snatches. Then this priest said very firmly that, that was quite enough and played "Now is the hour, when we must say goodbye." Even though the guests protested, he said he had to conduct a service at 6.30 am the following morning. Valid enough excuse, don't you think, I mean it wouldn't look at all good if he was yawning at his own sermon, though he certainly didn't seem like the type who would send the congregation off to the Land of Nod!

I had loads of fascinating conversation there, such as, 'How We Ladies Never Have Enough Shoes,' and men absolutely don't understand that one pair in each colour is just not enough. Are we to be held responsible if they choose not to wear pale pink, purple, lilac, hot pink, fuchsia, lemon yellow or lime green?

Functional

Their colours are so functional, actually they could manage with a pair each of black and brown. Since they don't seem to care which pair they wear anyway, it would save a lot of money (they only need to buy a new pair once the old one wears out), time and energy (think how much time they could save if they had only these two to polish) and most usefully, it would give us women so much more shoe space.

Rows of unused shoe shelves could be filled up with our shoes that we definitely would use. If a lady wore the same pair of shoes on two consecutive occasions, it would be spotted in a jiffy. But when it comes to men, who would look closely at their shoes? If they are dust free and shiny, they pass muster. Ah, so!

Anyway, I had a choice of either writing this or making a pudding in the dead of night. My friend has asked us to lunch, and her son wanted me to make "something with meringue" for dessert. I strongly suspect he's testing my culinary skills. So I rose to the challenge and am planning to do an elaborate confection - layers of meringue, cream, chocolate, fruit and nuts. Sounds rather posh, doesn't it? It has a rather stylish up market name, so sorry my cookery book is downstairs, and I don't think the domestics will be pleased if I put on the lights in their section of the house at 2.30 in the morning.

I normally do very straightforward, simple desserts, but I can't back off when challenged, can I? Before I left for dinner, I separated eggs, muttering under my breath all the while, whipped the living daylights out of the whites, made the meringue layers and put them in the oven. Hopefully they will be perfect tomorrow, or else I'll camouflage it with cream and smother it in chocolate, then everybody will be none the wiser.

Meringues

Incidentally, meringues were supposed to be an invention of a Swiss chef, Gasparini, from the town of Meiringen. But there is written proof in the cookery books of two British ladies in the early 18th century that this confection was prevalent in their menus too. French chefs too recorded around this time, the delectable decoration to their desserts made of egg whites and sugar, beaten to a stiff froth. It was originally called snow for obvious reasons. Nowadays this forms as a base for many desserts.

Anyway, I wonder if this was a wise choice, since I would have been moving around in the kitchen, whereas now, I'm sitting at the computer whilst being devoured by the most blood thirsty, ferocious mosquitoes. Unfortunately the repellent spray can that is kept nearby, to keep away these pesky insects, is defective. It just will not spray but is making a sound like a suppressed sneeze or an asthmatic wheeze, and the liquid is spilling all over my hand. So swatting madly but ineffectually, I'm typing in spurts. Hopefully either my blood pressure or blood sugar levels will fall rapidly due to the vast amounts of blood extracted from my body. It's 3 am and I'm off to bed. Good Morning!

- Honky Tonk Woman

  


HUMOUR 

Facts of living

Paul returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Alma that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live. Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him.

Of course she agreed and they made passionate love.

Six hours later, Paul went to her again, and said, "Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?" Alma agrees and again they make love.

Later, Paul is getting into bed when he realised he now had only eight hours of life left.

He touched Alma's shoulder and said, "Honey? Please? Just one more time before I die."

She agreed, and then afterwards she rolled over and fell asleep.

Paul, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and turned until he was down to only four more hours.

He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up.

"Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we...?"

His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said, "Listen Paul, I have to get up in the morning! You don't."

 

Bull trouble

Sign on a farmer's fence: "The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free but the bull charges."

 

Eye problem

One day a man tried to get a job at a well known company. He passed every test with flying colours. At the final interview, the CEO told him that his constant blinking would bother customers. "I can fix that with some Aspirin. Just take some and I'll be better in a second." So he reaches into his pocket and pulls condom after condom out until he finds the Aspirin. He takes it and his blinking goes away.

The CEO says "We don't approve of womanising!" The guy says "Oh! No! Have you ever tried to ask a pharmacist for aspirin while your winking?"

 

Go ahead

A politician looks up from his desk in his ministry office to see one of his aides nervously approach him.

"What is it?" exclaims the politician. "It's the Abortion Bill, Sir. What do you want to do about it?" And the politician says, "Just go ahead and pay it."

Politician and the puzzle

One morning a local poli-tician calls an advisor and says, "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it."

His advisor asks, "What is it a puzzle of?" The politician says, "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

The politician's advisor  figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to his place. The politician's butler lets the advisor through the  door and shows him to where the politician  has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. He then turns to the troubled politician  and says, "Sir, with due respect Sir, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger. Secondly Sir, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and then we can get your butler to  put all those Frosted Cornflakes back in the box."

 

Love and war

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.

"Of course, my son," said the priest.

 "Well, Father, at the beginning of World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."

"That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest.

"It's worse, Father. I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favours," continued the old man.

"Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a big risk - you would  have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her. I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest.

"Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?"

"Of course, my son," said the priest. The old man asked, "Do I have to tell her that the war is over?"     

 


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