Taxing sarees, sarongs and what not
Now there's a budget dearie. It's not often
that one sees Thelma in a Bata slipper and a
Salu Sala skirt swishing about her ankles
but when you do, it's a sight to see I can
promise you that. And while it is unlikely
that you will see Thellie hobbing much less
nobbing with the likes of the hawkers at the
Pettah World Market, I unashamedly admit
that I too of a weak moment am inclined to
succumb to superior quality. It is one of
the many reasons why my fondness for you
keeps waning day by day.
And sometimes darling these bally imported
items which are anathema to the likes of you
and possibly to the likes of Wee Wee and
that JHU chap whatzit, tend to veer towards
the top of the pops for me if you get my
drift. I mean to say nobody can turn out a
Versace hand bag quite like Versace. It's
difficult to see a better Dolce & Gabbana
shoe than perhaps one actually crafted by
Dolce & Gabbana. And I mean to say
sweetheart even you will agree that Peter
Piper cannot pass off as Satya Paul.
And while I am just as happy with an earthen
vase in my verandah as I am with an Arpico
mop in my broom cupboard, I really would
prefer if you care to know, a Waterford
decanter in my bar. Surely my dear there's
no need to go overboard with this local
And all this nonsense in the '70s only led
to textiles reeking of boomithel and long
parippu queues not to mention safety pins
that wouldn't close and bags and bags of
temperamental rubber bands that snapped and
then curled up in useless little bundles
like dead centipedes.
I mean to say, you yourself don't quite
believe what you say in your own budget. I
was quite distressed to learn darling for
instance that you want locally produced milk
from imported cows. I sat for hours
pondering over whether you would want those
foreign cows taxed a hundred percent as
well. Will you, Won't you, Will you, Won't
you I chanted while plucking out the petals
of a Gerber Daisy and to my girlish delight
I have often found you almost always will.
But it pained me darling that you've even
slammed massive taxes on sarongs though I
did seem to notice you had judiciously
avoided making mention of the satakaya as a
subject for cess.
This is a good sign.. At least for you. One
would have to scour the by ways and alley
ways of Medamulane to find one as good as
the one hanging on the life like model at
Temple Trees now what say you dearie?
Thankfully darling I noticed that you had
refrained from also making any taxing
overtures to the white underpant. I mean to
say darling having already taxed the sarong
it would have been a hideous afterthought on
your part to also tax the undergarment so
necessary for a piece of clothing as roomy
and as wind happy as the frivolous sarong.
But it must make the humble sarong feel
rather supercilious darling as it occupies
such an important place in your budget along
with the sari.
A good thing darling that global warming has
resulted in a topsy turvy pattern of well
weather and stormy weather considering that
you are taxing 50 percent more on fans.
There will always be the dried palm leaf
locally produced of course that will serve
as a fan in the future.
And what with Melamine and what not mixed in
all kinds of food including Thellie's
favourite biscuits and chocolates and even
eggs, it is better not to eat any food at
all. Therefore your tax on fridges is quite
as welcome dear as your tax on sarongs.
As for your tax on paper products I don't
quite have the same level of enthusiasm. I
mean to say how can you expect Thellie to
write so copiously to you if you keep
slapping taxes on newsprint every bally
chance you get? And as for the Embilipitiya
and Valachchenai paper mills let's hope the
paper they roll out won't look like the poor
quality stuff lining the bookshelves of the
Indian book stores.
I have often called you a taxidermist dearie
for your fondness to tax everything. But
this time I'm happy. In fact tomorrow I
shall frolic all day in my handloom sari and
my cadjan hat with my hair in a braid with
bells on. Yes. I happy dearie. Not least of
all because while taxing the sarong you
spared the stuff beneath.
Tara for now.