The few things the University of
Mattakkuliya didn't teach
Well dear it's Christmas and all that and
the goose is getting fat and so is Thelma if
you care to know. Not that Thelma is in the
gravy at all these days so much so she
hardly even gets to indulge in an occasional
bit of Christmas cheer in the form of a
little something in my fruit punch. Hard
times, sweetie. Hard times and getting
harder by the minute.
Speaking of sobering up, I've been mulling
over what you hinted about the sober chap on
Hulftsdorp Hill going great guns to the
finish. I'll be the first to admit that
despite reading law in the University of
Mattakkuliya from whence I passed out Summa
Cum Laude or Louder which ever you prefer, I
haven't quite got a toe hold on the nitty
gritties of the law argued upon in that very
august assembly presided over by none other
than the grand panjandrum of justice S.N.
And speaking of Summa Cum Laude wasn't it
none other than everybody's favourite
comedian Merv the Perv who graduate also
Summa blah blah from some alternative
joint.and got himself a doctorate. .No wait
a mo.was that Summa Cum Laude or simply
I may be wrong darling but I have a sneaky
feeling honorary means - you haven't bally
worked for it. Sat down long hours with a
frown on your brow and a wet towel on your
head steeped knee deep in a basin of warm
water cramming and writing and what not.
If only someone had told Thellie about the
honorary degree. Well too late now I
suppose. It's just like that dog in a manger
Rat Wicks to get himself appointed to a sub
committee to abolish deshabandus right when
Thellie was ripe for an honorary degree.
A little birdie tells me you yourself have
over 10 honorary titles dearie. Tch Tch what
would the Rat Wicks sub committee say
But I digress. It is about your cautious
lament to the judiciary that I most want to
chat to you about. You say that it is
unbecoming for people who at one time stoned
the houses of judges and collected files on
them to now toddle along to the court house,
which was at one time as far as they were
concerned, merely a large dart board of
sorts or the forehead of Goliath - only fit
to receive sticks and stones to them. They
should be estopped from going before these
sober chaps and filing fundamental rights
applications helter skelter is your beef.
Does it mean darling that you feel that he
who hath no sin must cast the first stone?
Or perchance you want to warn these blokes
that those in glass houses musn't throw
stones? Either way the stony motif is making
me for some reason quite hungry for a piece
of coconut rock.
Here's the thing sweetie. That stone story
belongs with Stonehenge. I mean to say
darling even the perpetrator of that
particular episode is pushing a daisy if not
But that's not all you said, eh? A little
miffed I wager about the price of fuel
potentially coming down once the Chief
you-no-hoo on Hulftsdorp does his magic
you-no-what come tomorrow. Not that a
genuine effort to lessen the burden on
Thellie and her fuel bill can ever be
likened to a terrorist act but that is what
you said.Shame on you dear.
You must learn to cut your coat according to
your bally loin cloth. There you are on the
one hand flying high with Mihin and wasting
funds on rushing around to the Vatican with
a delegation of 50 and then.and then..the
slightest whiff of any help for the
Paradisians and there you are sniffling
about it in your little corner instead of
rejoicing in the fact that your people can
come out of their Dickensian stupor and live
Aaany hoo, down the grapevine also came the
news that you had further cause to lament
and beat your breast. One supposes that
given the slightest chance you may have
donned sack cloth and ashes as well. The
sober chaps on the hill you said are not
elected by the people but you are. The SCs
on the H you said not being elected by the
people didn't have to answer to the people.
I assure you darling there is a rub in your
argument. What the rub is I cannot quite pin
point in any immediate way having taken two
shots of a chillie vodka and swallowed an
oyster, but it will all come back to me. I
didn't place my feet on a wet rug and wrap a
warm towel on my head for nothing.
Yes. here it is..Just a minute...oh yes it's
coming back to me now, these chaps darling
on the hill. Isn't it you who appoint them?
Correct me if I'm wrong but if you are
elected by the people and you appoint the
sober chaps then by extension aren't they
appointed by the people? Hard to say dear
Thellie is a bit hazy on that one.
As I said the
didn't teach everything.
Tara for now
And a Merry Xmas.