Leaving Freemantle for fishing

I am leaving Fremantle this weekend. In a way, I am glad.

The truth of the matter is that I am going to Busselton for about three days. Busselton is a country town, three and half hours drive away from here. What am I going to do while I am there? I am going to go fishing

The thing is that when I go fishing, it does a lot for me. I feel happier, calmer and more independent and I think a lot of that has to do with being able to catch my own food for free. No money worries, yummy food and I feel self reliant.

And though I will be fishing with my friends standing on the jetty or the dam alongside me, I will for once be left alone with my thoughts.

I don’t get much privacy these days. My phone isn’t ringing off the hook nor is my inbox flooded with emails but I still don’t get much privacy or breathing space. Especially not after having caught the most debilitating flu ever and having to have handed everything in late because I had no way of finishing stuff on time.

So privacy, even if it’s just enough time to have some silence so I can hear the thoughts in my head for once, is good. No running around trying to support a friend, trying to ensure all the day to day little things need to get done, none of that. Just me and my brain.

And I really do need to think. I am at a point in my life where everything is changing around me, both things I can control and things I cannot. I can’t act in a knee jerk fashion and I want to sit and contemplate what’s occurring around me. I am now independent, I have stopped studying and have started working for myself, meanwhile my social life has altered. Friends are getting married, moving into houses with their spouses and the number of people I know on a professional basis has suddenly expanded. My daily routine is changing as is my diet.

My one constant is that I still need my brain. And I need and want to think about my future both here and back home, about what I need for it, about what I want for it. I need to think about if I want to continue saying what I feel needs to be said or if I should shut up and go to ground instead.

Should I continue to write? I think the simple answer to that is: yes. But what should I write? Should I continue in any genre as it pleases me? Should I work on the novel, or put that effort into poetry? Should I focus instead on writing articles? Should I just stick to the work I am getting in terms of editing and web design and for the moment, write purely for myself?

Everyone needs direction. There are a lot of people who come running to me to double check whatever they decide on, though they don’t need to. I don’t have anyone to run to. I just have my brain. It’s all I need to logically think through something. But I need the space and time to do that.

And that’s why even though it is winter and it will be even more cold in Busselton than it will be in Fremantle and even though I hate the winter and the cold, that’s why I am going fishing down south.