Dear Lord, will you please find a way of shielding me from my spending frenzies that occur more frequently than not? Will there be a day where I will walk away from a department store empty handed? Is there a way of letting my father know that all this shopping I do is actually not a matter of choice but a dire sickness I posses? Could I maybe win the lottery anytime soon? For this I pray to you oh Lord, please please hear and answer my prayer.

We all have sicknesses. For some it could be drug addiction, for others it could be alcohol abuse or maybe even schizophrenia. Yet for a select few there is a sickness much worse than all the others. It yanks away at many heart strings of the weak willed. Even torments the individuals paying hefty credit card bills. Yes, I talk of the sickness known to mankind as shopaholicism.

Whether it be a pair of diamond earrings, a designer dress or a chocolate fountain, the poor dears suffering from this disease simply cannot resist the urge. Spending money becomes a source of comfort and a way of life. People will buy the most futile things which at the end of the day, lie in a heap at the back of the room covered in dust. I myself have a few friends who suffer from such an illness and I believe that there is a way of curing this deadly disease.

Spritz the demon

Firstly, I would suggest steering clear of any department store or any stores for that matter. Now for an individual like myself who spends many months in Singapore, this would be an ambitious idea since you are likely to walk by a shopping mall every few yards! Keeping this in mind, close your eyes and walk straight, never mind falling over your own two feet and bumping into grumpy city dwellers. At least you will save a few bucks.

However if you do happen to find yourself in a department store being sucked in by the charms of a smiling sales assistant who seems to think that the blue lipstick you’ve tried on is ‘stunning’ and ‘matches your skin tone’, I suggest you spritz the demon with some pepper spray and make a speedy exit before the cops catch you.

I know of a lady who flew to Sri Lanka from Switzerland and had all the symptoms of this disease. On landing here, she fell in love with mosquito nets found all around our island and promptly bought a dozen. Whether Switzerland actually had that many mosquitoes is another story altogether.

Another classic example of spending frenzies is my aunt. Her room is covered in brown boxes from amazon.com with hundreds of unwatched and even unopened DVDs! One would think that it would take an entire lifetime to watch all of these movies and do not fret! She has even more on the way!

My cousin on the other hand has a passion for fashion. With two kids she says she no longer has time to book a flight to Singapore for her annual shopping sprees and so has she stopped shopping? Of course not! She has now embraced the enticing array of online stores that deliver shoes and clothes to your very doorstep!

One of my mother’s friends in the UK is a full-on shopaholic. While showing my mother around the shops, she too bagged up some goodies for herself, including a designer dress. On seeing her husband when they arrived back home, she thrust all her bags into my mother’s hands instructing her to keep them until her husband was out of sight. Unfortunately he smelt a rotten fish and opened up the bag and held up this designer dress asking whose purchase it was! When he was told that it was my mother’s (who is unfortunately many sizes larger than this petite lady) he demanded it be returned.

Another cure

Therefore another cure for this illness is a spouse that is willing and ready to knock your socks off if you happen to slip up. A very watchful eye is needed for this as people who suffer from this illness tend to be very crafty in their ways.