The many uses of the tongue

Recently, I discovered that like a finger print, the tongue print can also be used for identification. How cool would that be, I immediately thought; how I’d love to stick it out at certain individuals. The person top on my list would be the female soldier at the checkpoint I pass only a few dozen times a day. One of the most contrary females I’ve ever come across!

I mean, those of you who know me, do I look even vaguely threatening? Okay, enough of that, maybe just a leetle bit. I also thought of some movies where they place their palms or eyes against a machine to enter certain high security areas, imagine how comical and rather gross it would look if you went up to the scanner and stuck out your tongue! Blaaa, so there, machine!

Anyway apparently, each tongue is unique, even in identical twins, and tongue prints are most difficult to forge as you can well imagine. Their geometric shape, surface texture and unique pattern of taste buds make it very useful in the identification process. But the thought of it is rather funny, isn’t it?

Important bigwigs

 Imagine all these important bigwigs walking up to a scanner and sticking out their tongues? Sounds and looks rather flippant, don’t you think?

Animals have characteristic tongues too. Do you know there is a separate category of photos called tongue photos of animals? Some of them are of cute kitties and puppies with their tongues hanging out etc. In addition to its very long neck, the giraffe has an extra long tongue too! Sometimes it could be one and a half feet long. Slurp!

 As for the blue whale, its tongue weighs more than an elephant. Wow! Chameleons’ tongues are double the length of their bodies. Together with salamanders, anteaters, frogs and lizards, they use their tongues to capture food. Zap, you’re it!

Apparently, our close relatives the gorillas stick out their tongues as a sign of aversion or aggression, just like us! Dogs, cats and so many other animals use the tongue as a tool to clean their fur.

Used to catch prey

In insects, the tongue or proboscis is used to catch prey, or in the case of butterflies, to drink nectar. Molluscs have a rough tongue called the radula to grind food. Okay, enough about animals.

Nowadays with the younger folk the trend is to pierce your tongue. Ouch! I get goose bumps just thinking of it. Tongue piercing is apparently an ancient tradition of many civilisations, for instance the Mayans and the Aztecs. I think it looks rather sinister, and why anyone would want to mutilate their own bodies beats me.

The tongue is the most frequently used muscle in the body, so surely you’d better take good care of it? It is supposed to be the strongest muscle as well, but that could be alluding to the power of the spoken word. Maybe one should regularly try some common tongue twisters for maintenance! Like “Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers…” or “The sixth sick sheikh’s sixth sheep’s sick…..” or “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck…! ” Got you! Frustrating, isn’t it?

A diagnostic tool

In the field of medicine, the Chinese in particular use the tongue as a diagnostic tool. The doctor always asks you to stick your tongue out, remember? In the culinary field too, the flesh of the tongue from various animals is used. Some popular dishes are corned tongue and ham and tongue sandwiches.

I must say when I had bitten into a tongue sandwich unawares; I almost inelegantly spat it out at this rather prim and very anglicised lady’s tea table. That would have been most unacceptable and inappropriate. So I choked on it instead, and somehow gulped it down, but politely refused a second one!

I think one of the most pleasurable things in life is to lick at an ice cream cone. Heavenly! And what about licking the spoon after you have just made the stickiest and most yummy toffee? When we were little, we used to fight to lick the spoons and bowl after a cake or pudding was mixed. And the nicest thing was sharing a lollipop or popsicle with your closest buddies, never mind the germs being passed around! 

And last but by no means least; the tongue is used as a sign of affection by humans. I’d better not go into details on this one or I’ll have lots of scandalised remarks and horror-struck comments. Just let your imaginations run riot, folks!

— Honky Tonk Woman