Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of my friends complaining about being mistreated at events in Colombo. I’ve not come across this too often, so naturally I’m wondering what this is about. And it’s all pretty simple really; Sri Lankans aren’t used to how events are handled in other countries. For example, let’s look at [...]
Can’t Remember I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead. (Laura Kightlinger) Worried Man Two astrophysicists are discussing their research in a bar one evening when a drunk who has [...]
Winking Problem A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, “This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we’d hire you without a second thought. [...]
Excuses for Excuse Letters These are notes that school secretaries have actually received. Some of these were in an article in the Detroit News back in the 1970s. “Please excuse John for being absent Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and 33.” “Mary could not go to school because she was bothered by very close [...]
Marriage Marriage is a rest period between romances. I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. Don’t marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. My wife ran off with my best friend [...]
Chain Saw A politician walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut six trees in one hour as he felt he needed to do some physical activity while making a fast buck. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The politician is suitably impressed, and buys it. [...]
Florist’s Mistake On opening his new store, a man received a bouquet of flowers. He was dismayed on reading the enclosed card, that it expressed “Deepest Sympathy”. While puzzling over the message, his telephone rang. It was the florist, apologizing for having sent the wrong card. “Oh, it’s alright” said the storekeeper. “I’m a businessman [...]
Oh Grandma The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.” The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that my dear?” she asked. The little boy replied, “I heard daddy tell mommy that he [...]
Colours Of War Once upon a time, there was an officer of the Royal Navy named Captain Bravado who showed no fear when facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate ship approaching, and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravado bellowed, “Bring me my red shirt!” The first [...]
George Washington Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him? Student: Because George still had the ax in his hand. From the heaven above The ten year old’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He [...]
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